


A Hearth in the Night

by Maplegroot



Series: A Hearth in the Night [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Consensual Sex, F/M, Family Drama, Feelings, Female Reader, First Dates, First Meetings, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love, Masturbation in Shower, Minor Canonical Character(s), Physical Abuse, Pre-Canon, Romance, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, as canon as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-07-13 22:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 77,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16027457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maplegroot/pseuds/Maplegroot
Summary: You are ready to turn over a new leaf in your life, moving from Lestallum to Insomnia to join the Kingsglaive. The road to becoming an accomplished, strong soldier is long and hard, but you are determined to succeed. Mainly to be able to protect those you hold dear. And that small group of loved ones unexpectantly grows bigger during your years in the Crown City - especially as you cross paths with Ignis Scientia, the Royal Adviser of the Prince.





	1. Red the Recruit

 

###  **M.E. 751, November**

You really aren’t the restless kind, you didn’t really go looking for adventures to get a high nor did you dream of travelling the world. In fact, you would’ve been content just staying at one place, feeling the comfort of knowing every place and every person. And yet, here you are on a bus heading towards a future you knew very little about, all your belongings in a scruffy duffel bag with silly patches on. You finger on the Moogle patch as you look out of the window, slightly nodding your head to the beat of the music in your earphones. The grey clouds hang low and heavy, but after an almost endless, really hot summer, you actually appreciate the chillier weather.

  
Thus far, it has been a long, tiresome, but eventless journey. You had left Lestallum early in the morning yesterday and had a layover at Hammerhead. It has been some time since you last heard daemons in the night, at least so close to you. But once the sun rose in the East and burned holes in the clouds, the cries of the daemons had died down. The bus passed the outer wall at least one hour ago, and the suburban areas are giving way to broader, busier roads. Flashy cars pass the bus and though your knowledge of vehicles is limited, you still appreciate the Insomnian crafts – the modernism of the Crown City is hard to overlook.

  
Tall buildings grow before you as the bus gets closer to the large city. The sky is grey and radiates a sombre feeling from afar, but the roads get livelier on the highway as you pass the West Gate. The late November weather has you shivering in your seat, but the excitement is overpowering the cold. A new life awaits within the Wall, in Insomnia, the city that never sleeps.

  
You sweep a lock of hair behind your ear as you take in the sights with widened eyes - the bus has left the highway and everywhere are impressive buildings, shops and large avenues. At the immense bus station, you pick up your duffel bag, put your earphones into your pocket, straighten the arms of the red leather jacket and tighten the scarf around your neck before bracing the cold.

  
Busy, clean, though grey, streets. So different from Lestallum, and not even remotely comparable to the small farm you grew up on, a few miles from the beach resort of Galdin Quay. You start walking, clenching a map to your chest. You are too busy gawking at the prudently chiselled buildings in front of you to actually start looking for the subway. If these are just regular structures, you can’t wait to see the Citadel – the home of the Royal family, and, hopefully, your future workplace.

  
Your stomach interrupts your sightseeing with a loud growl and you clutch at it in embarrassment as a group of pre-schoolers snicker at you while walking past with their teacher, who hushes at them. You don't blame them though, it was well after lunch, after all. Not too far from the bus station, you find a café and order coffee and half of a filled baguette. You are positively starving once you put your teeth into the bread, and you appreciate the warmth from the coffee. Sitting by a window, you get a good look of the centre of Insomnia – people hurrying back from meetings, parents walking their children in strollers, someone having a late lunch on foot. A group of high school students, dressed in black blazers under their jackets, walk past the café. The future of Insomnia, you think amused as they are laughingly joking around, obviously heading back to school after a break.

  
A sound from the TV in the café captures your attention – some sort of news program, and currently they are showing how the Royal family visited a newly opened museum earlier that day, along with students from the Prince’s high school. Ah, you think, so that’s why the students were out walking just now, they were getting back from the visit. The camera zooms in on King Regis, who politely listens to the curator of the museum. By his side stands his son, sixteen-year-old Prince Noctis, who is looking anything but amused. A young man in glasses whispers something to him and the Prince sighs and straightens his back. The next moment the camera is moved to follow the King.

  
You smile a little, finishing your coffee. The Royal family had always seemed so distant, and here they were, obviously well-known inside the wall.

  
After wandering around for a couple of hours, trying to remember your way to and from the underground trains, you finally end up in front of a dark apartment complex. You glance up and let out a sigh to calm your nerves, gripping your bag tightly. This is where your life will change. Starting tomorrow, you will apply for the Kingsglaive.

  
\--

  
“Okay, look alive!” A sharp voice awakens you from your thoughts. In front of you and the rest of the recruits stands a brunette woman, sporting a face of no tolerance. “I’m Lieutenant Altius, I’m here as Captain Drautos’ eyes and ears. Those of you who whine, break a fingernail, hiccup or do anything else I find irritating, well…” She stops before you and stare down the group of people while pointing with a thumb over her shoulder. “Those won’t be asked to continue the programme. Also, I won’t bother with names until after New Year’s, when the real training begins, and we’ve sorted out the bad grain.”

  
You swallow hard and tighten your fists in determination; you have come all this way, you can’t, no, you _won’t_ fail now.

  
“Bun, Mohawk, Red and Fox!” The lieutenant points in turn at a man with glasses and hair in a bun, another one with an impressive mohawk, you and a woman with a fox-looking tattoo on her face. You are slightly perplexed at first, before you realize that your red leather jacket has given you a new nickname. “You’re up, you will be a team in the first exercises. Walk over to supplies and armoury and get your stuff. Alright, next team: Zits, Posh, Ghost and Mouthy…”

  
You stand up along with your newfound teammates. This is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just take this for what it is - a fic by someone who hasn't written fics in a long time. Also, there is material for at least 16 chapters for this first part, and I estimate it to be three parts in total. c:  
> Later chapters will contain more of the sexy stuff, darkness and fluff, thus the rating. Also, first time posting here, so if I mess up the tags - sorry, please tell me and I will fix! <3


	2. We Are Ready To Burn

### M.E. 752, January to May

A couple of months later, in early January, it is finally time to start the real training to become full-fledged Kingsglaive soldiers. You have survived the initial tests, where Crowe Altius, along with some other senior officers, have put you through hell. Not even the trials of Astrals could have rivalled it.

But here you are, along with your assigned teammates - Fox turned out to be named Astra Gemini, then there was Bun, or Valerio Berin, and Mohawk was more commonly known as Tobul Curant. All of whom you gladly got along with.

Low chimes which slowly increase in volume emits from your phone, and you turn around to lie on your stomach to turn off the morning alarm. The sun has yet to be breaking through your curtains as you, with a silent groan, get out of bed. Opening the door, you step out into the living-room and make your way to the bathroom, banging on another door as you pass by.

“Astra, time to get up, we have that... what was it?”

“Ugh.” It’s quiet for a few seconds before a muffled voice continues through the door. “We’re doing tactics before lunch and then close-combat.”

“Ok, so no big lunch then.” You grin before continuing with your morning routine.

A while later, as you’re preparing coffee and frying some eggs, someone stumbles out of Astra’s room – a man. He is blushing all the way down to his shoulders, but you barely bat an eye by now; since Astra moved in a month ago there has been both strange and not-so-strange men and women on brief visits.

“Coffee?” You ask with a nifty smile, and the poor fellow just shakes his head. This one was way timider than the noble lady a few days ago.

“N-no, thanks”, he mumbles and rapidly puts his shoes on before vanishing out of the apartment.

“What did you do to the poor man?” You question Astra once she emerges from her bedroom, languidly stretching her arms. She has the same expression as of a very pleased cat.

“Nothing I wouldn’t recommend you”, she sighs lovingly and grabs the mug of coffee you reach out to her. She combs through her short, red hair with the other hand and looks at you with sparkling, amber eyes.

“So, it begins. We’re gonna be soldiers soon, dude.”

“Yeah”, you plate the eggs on some toast with sausage and hand one to her before quickly digging in. “Eat and then get dressed, Val and Tobul will be joining us outside the station.”

 

\--

 

During the next months, there is hard work and little play, though Astra always seems to find time somehow. Having her as a roommate isboth exciting and strenuous, but you can’t help loving her company. Without her and the guys, your life would certainly be duller. The other glaives, the ones who haven't dropped out that is, are fine too, but you suppose that you will always have a better connection with your very first team-mates.

Come Spring, all remaining recruits are about as ready as possible to officially be accepted into the Kingsglaive and a Friday morning in late May, the Kingsglaive wing is buzzing with the sounds of excited cadets, ready to soon head to the ceremony. Today, you and the rest of your comrades will be graced with the power of King Regis, a power the royalty of Lucis draws directly from the Crystal entrenched deep in the safety of the Citadel.

As you look around, you feel an odd mix of pride and sadness grow in your chest – you had been so many more in November last year. But one by one, people who did not meet the requirements had been asked to leave, and the last couple of months you had all endured tests to see if you were even capable of acquiring the magic that would allow you full access to the Kingsglaive. Those who hadn’t the essential capability of wielding magic had been offered a spot in another part of the military.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the door opening, and Captain Drautos enters, closely followed by Lieutenant Crowe Altius and Lieutenant Nyx Ulric. The first clears his throat, even though it’s barely necessary – everyone is prepared and attentive to what he has to say. “So, the day comes. I am confident Nyx and Crowe has supervised you well during these six months. In 30 minutes, the joint ceremonies of the Kingsglaive and the Crownsguard will begin in the Great Hall.” Drautos gradually paces back and forth in front of you as he speaks, and his red uniform drapes around his legs in each step. “I am going to make it perfectly clear, the power the King will grant is only borrowed to you. It can be taken away at any time. And once you receive it, that’s when the real training starts. Warp lessons will begin Monday next week, shortly followed by magic practice. Be aware, warping isn’t for everyone.”

The Captain halts and gives you all a flat look. “Dismissed, soldiers.”

 

\--

The atmosphere in the Great Hall is almost grave, especially among the Crownsguards who’ve been training for years, now prepared to be formally sworn in. Some of them look at the Kingsglaive with admiration, others with badly concealed dislike. Perhaps some thought you all had received your station by free, thanks to the small, in comparison to the royal line, innate aptitude of wielding magic. 

The Hall becomes dead quiet once the King, Regis Lucis Caelum, enters through the grand doors, but the void of silence soon fills with the tunes of the Lucian anthem, played on an organ hidden in the back of the hall. The King’s walk seems somewhat stuttered, you reflect with a frown. Behind him follows the teenage boy you saw on TV half a year ago – Prince Noctis. He looks as enthusiastic as back then, that is to say, not at all. They are both followed by council members, one you recognise as the Shield of the King – Clarus Amicitia, and after them the leaders of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard respectively: Titus Drautos and Cor Leonis. You feel your hands start to shake a little out of anxiety, and Astra stealthily hooks a little finger with one of yours, sending a small squeeze of reassurance to you. You hug back with gratitude, thankful for the redhead’s silent support.

As the King takes place on an impressive podium at the front, carved out of marble and a few steps higher up than the rest of the floor, the music softly fades. The rest of the entourage take seats behind the King.

“My fellow Lucians”, the voice of King Regis is stout and unwavering as he directs his speech to you. “I have participated in this ceremony many times by now, yet I am not any less honoured each time I stand here. Quite the opposite, my gratefulness and pride only grow each time. You have all been designated to serve the crown and its people. Some of you will do so by organizing and drawing strategies, some by guarding, some by direct combat, others by wielding magic. None of it less imperative than the other. “Now,”

He turns to face Marshal Leonis, who swiftly gets up on his legs and hands Regis a scroll.

“We will begin with welcoming our new members of the Crownsguard.” The monarch gestures to the right of the hall, urging the men and women – about twenty of them – to stand before him. You notice that the prince perks up at this, sitting straighter in his chair and there is a cunning grin on his face as he nods towards one of the men standing in front of them. Regis continues by reciting the old oath of the royal guards and militia. The men and women before him echo each sentence until they end with a unified: “For hearth and home.”

“Well,” Regis smiles slightly as he watches them and starts reading their names of the paper Cor handed him a few moments before. At the last name, the King looks up and his eyes grow warm looking at the last man. “And Ignis Scientia. You are all hereby formally avowed into the Crownsguard.”

Polite applauses break out and you rise slightly to stand on your toes, peering over your fellow comrades – the man the King was addressing a second ago is the same one who had been whispering in the Prince’s ear that time on TV. He looks very elegant in his impeccable uniform, and with the hair in a different style than last time you saw him – it is fashionably gelled up in the front. You don’t get more time to further review him before the King turns to address the Kingsglaive recruits.

The glaives are about as many as the newly sworn-in Crownsguards and are inquired to come up in groups of ten at the time, called by names by the King himself. As they walk up they are thoroughly scrutinized by the gaze of the monarch. Valerio and Tobul are among the first group to stand before the King, they recite the oath and as the King gives them his blessing you notice the ring on his finger start to glow as he raises his hand before them. The glaives look a bit overwhelmed by the magic the King bequeaths upon them, and you are suddenly invaded by unsolicited fears: what if you can’t acquire the power? What if someone has made a mistake, maybe you aren’t worthy of this after all? Before being able to continue the emotional rollercoaster inside your mind, you are called up along with Astra and other comrades.

The feeling when the magic of the Lucii embeds itself in your soul, your very core, is exhilarating and frightening all at once. It reminds you a little of taking a deep breath after holding it for as long as you can; all bodily systems switch to full-alert in an instant and the hairs on your body are standing straight underneath the uniform. The anticipation inside you grows – soon you will be summoning weapons, warping around and possibly be using magical elements.

As you stride back down to your previous spot you feel invigorated in a way you’ve never have previously. You walk past the new Crownsguard members and meet a pair of green hues behind glasses – Ignis’. There is a soft jolt in your stomach as he looks directly into your eyes. A look of understanding. It is all it takes to realize that he too draws power of the Crystal, possibly even a greater one as his source most likely is through the Prince himself. Not even a heartbeat later, he looks away and you carry forward to stand alongside Astra with his vibrant eyes etched into your mind.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, still shorter than what future ones will be. In the next ones, the story will start picking up for real as Reader has built up some more skills and relations with the fellow comrades has grown stronger. Also, feel free to point out mistakes! <3


	3. Sparring Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are actually becoming pretty decent, and others are noticing it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstories and foreshadowings!

### M.E. 754 Late Autumn - Sparring Lesson

More than two years have passed since acquiring the power of the Crystal. You have been advancing as a soldier of Lucis, and though it has been far from easy - just passing Lieutenant Altius’ thorough entrance exams had made most of the recruits wishing the Astrals would end their suffering – it felt rewarding as you grew stronger.

The Kingsglaive had been specifically created several years ago as a complement to the Crownsguard. The King of Lucis made the Kingsglaive his own personal guard and one of their main objectives was to protect the Crown Prince, along with strengthening the Wall.

Thus, you are occasionally stationed at the Citadel, patrolling the area or standing guard. At times, especially of late, the glaives were taken to the outer walls to practice and maintain the Insomnian defense. At one point your team had been ambushed by Magitech soldiers, and Nyx Ulric had been the one to save your asses back then. He frequently used that as an excuse to bribe drinks from the lot of you.

At this moment, you have just finished a shift patrolling the Citadel. It had been mostly uneventful, save for a visiting school class of nine-year-olds. The poor council man trying to describe the usual workday had sent his assistant pleading looks, which were politely ignored.

You stretch your arms to the air, trying to get rid of the stiffness before arriving to the training buildings. You greet some fellow comrades who have just finished a sparring session. Unlike many of the other recruits, whom are refugees from Galahd, you are from a small farm close to the Fallgrove, a few miles from Galdin Quay. Though, your latest home, before moving here, was Lestallum.

Your teammate Valerio is born and raised in Insomnia, while Astra a k a ‘Fox’, and Tobul had been refugees from neighbouring regions. After two years you were periodically still a team, working well and swiftly together. Tobul had however been sent to the Wall more frequently, fighting off daemons and the whims of the Empire of Niflheim.

You proceed into the changing room, opening your locker. Two photos hang sloppily taped to the inside of the door. You let fingers brush over one of them, depicting an older, blond woman hugging her three children tightly. Three siblings. Your equally blonde little brother, Luca, only 7 in the picture. He is almost a copy of your mother, Olivia. Your older, dark-haired brother Osgar, giving the camera his trademark scowl. You smirk, you know he had been happy that day, despite his edgy expression. Then you look at your younger self, a teenage girl who dreamt of owning a small farmhouse and to one day be able to protect her family from the monster threatening them. Maybe at least one of those wishes will come true someday.

You pull yourself from the reminiscence and instead remove your Kingsglaive uniform in favour of tights and a tank top. During the past two years you had certainly gotten stronger, but it was not enough. Not yet. You clench your gloved hand and close the locker before heading out to the sparring halls. The halls are quite lively, and it is difficult to find one that isn’t crowded. It seems everyone wants to practice before heading home this evening.

Fortunately, you find one gallery, far down the hallway, being semi-empty – the only other people are two men, one of them you recognize from the Kingsglaive – a Galahdian named Brutus, ranked as Major. The other one is a tall, slender man in glasses. There is something familiar about him, you note, but can’t put your finger on what as they swirl around each other. None of them take notice of your arrival so you take the opportunity of observing them for a short while as you sneak to the other end of the room. Brutus has been in the Kingsglaive for about four years longer than you, having gathered plenty of experience under his belt.

Nonetheless, he seems to be in trouble as the younger man pins him to the wall with some quick flicks of his daggers. Brutus proceeds to warp out of the way of the now charging man, but the ash-haired man quickly turn mid-air and send a torrent of ice towards the glaive. Impressed, you observe his movements. Having sparred against Brutus once yourself, you know it was no light feat, especially as he is much larger and enjoys charging with all his weight. You had obviously been incapable to stand your ground that time, making it even more entertaining seeing someone beating him to the ground right now. You finally must tear your gaze away, reminding yourself that you need to get your practice going before time flew away.

Some forty minutes later, a limping Brutus exits the room. He has finally been forced to yield, and by the sounds he has been making you figure that either he would have done so or lost a limb.

As the door closes behind him, you feel as if you are being watched. You quickly look over your shoulder, seeing the man in glasses having a break, drinking from a water bottle. He seems to be frowning as he scrutinizes your moves. You are concentrating on deflection and practicing retreating by warping, and you aren’t sure you’re in the mood for an audience. In annoyance, you throw the dagger into mid-air, reaching out for it. You materialize a few metres above the floor and swiftly throw the weapon again, this time into the wall above the man. When you appear above him, you catch a quick glance of him – and his eyes locks with yours. Green, vibrant hues. It’s him.

You tug the dagger off the wall and send it flying again as you feel the unmistakable nausea build in your stomach. When you materialize near the floor you try to soften the landing by rolling but miscalculate and hit your back hard against the wooden floor. You let out a badly stifled groan. As you lay on the floor you sweep sweat of your brow, the last couple of warps had thrown off your balance. All because you suddenly got the urge to show off in front of some stupid boy.

“You need to fall on your shoulder, to roll smoothly along the ground.” A deep voice fills the room, resonating gently off the walls. You look up, upside-down, at the man who still peers at you. He seems provocatively calm.

“I’m aware,” you mutter and get up on your feet, brushing off dust from the tights. You feel the blush growing on your cheeks and take a closer look at the man you have shared a room with for the past forty-five minutes. You have seen him at times in the Citadel, but didn’t recognise him in sweatpants, t-shirt, dishevelled hair and glasses askew – the ever sophisticated and well-dressed Ignis Scientia. “I was just thrown a bit off guard.”

The man nods, he does not seem to wish to tease you despite clearly being the more skilled of you two. “Well, your warping appears rather decent, keep that up and you will rival Major Brutus in no time. It’s not all who’s got the _stomach_ for it.” A smirk plays in the corner of his mouth.

You let out a chortle at the man’s pun, warming a bit to him. You’re at a loss of what to say, you only know that you would like to keep talking. He simply seems genuine to you. However, your time is up as the doors fling open, and Ignis turns to address whoever just arrived.

“Gladio, how is your wound?”

You stare at the doors. The ash-blond man greets a _very_ tall, muscular man in Crownsguard attire – you immediately recognise him as general Amicitia’s son, Gladiolus. He joined the Crownsguard in 751, the same year you moved to Insomnia.

“Hm, it’s nothing”, Gladiolus grins, brushing his fingertips against a long scar blazing freshly on his face. “You should’ve seen the other guy! Some drunk bastard who wanted to get to know His Highness a bit too closely.”

Ignis sighs and pushes his glasses back up his nose. “I’ll have you know Noct was quite worried for your sake. I am nonetheless grateful for your actions, I only regret I wasn’t able to accompany you yesterday, perhaps I could have avoided the entire situation.”

“No sweat, Iggy”, the larger man bumps the other’s shoulder. “You ready to get going? Bet Noct and Prom already are deep into their third bag of chips by now.” He then peeks over at you and back to Ignis, shades of a sly smile on his lips. “Unless I’m interrupting?”

“Not at all”, Ignis disregards the apparent suggestion with a frown, and nods to you as a goodbye before following Gladiolus out the doors. You stand still for a moment, the queasiness subsiding. You have seen the King and Prince up close before, along with their respective retinues. And the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard still participated at joint ceremonies from time to time. But to have gotten guidance, though unwanted, and then listen in on a private conversation of the close retainers of the Prince left you a bit starstruck. Or you might just be a bit overwhelmed by the fact that the royal adviser looks less uptight, and rather handsome, with messy hair.

\--

Some evenings later, Astra and you gather a group of glaives in your apartment – it's your turn to host horror movie night. The doorbell gives off a short ring before Crowe stomps through the door.

“I brought beer!” She declares loudly and makes her way to the kitchen

“Not really that kind of party, but who am I to judge”, titters Astra as she’s getting the snacks ready. Crowe starts digging in her backpack and triumphantly pulls out an old DVD.

“Fine, here’s the real stuff – I promise you’ll have nightmares after watching this one. Old, classic Lucian horror at its best.” She hands it to you. It’s a classic dark cover, with a pale face of a woman wearing the horns of an arak on her head.

“Talking about yourself again?” Nyx appears in the doorway and just about ducks as Crowe’s fist come flying. “What are you even doing here, didn’t think you liked hanging out with the kids?”

“I’m just here to ruin their innocent little minds”, Crowe grimaces and opens her beer bottle. “And I got a promotion.”

Astra and you light up at this and would’ve thrown yourself over her if you hadn’t known it would end up in your immediate death. So, you settle for a simple congratulation. “Wow, second lieutenant then?”

Crowe nods and raises her bottle in a cheer. “Second Lieutenant Altius at your service, kids. It’ll be official in the next few days.”

Nyx grins and pats his friend’s back. “Proud of you.”

She pushes him aside while rolling her eyes. “Don’t get soft with me.” To end the conversation, she grabs a bowl of popcorn and heads out to the others, with the rest of you soon following.

\--

Nestled between Valerio and another of your peers – Pelna – you watch the film Crowe brought: a gory mess with surprisingly intelligent plot twists. At one point, Val leans over to you and whispers:

“Did you hear something from that cute boy?”

“Hm?” You simulate a baffled look and watches as Val’s face drop a little, before you gently nudge him with your elbow. “Yeah, he’s up for a date, I’ll send you his number later.” Val shines up again and give you a quick hug.

“Great! Oh, and I want to set you up with that tall one from the Usual Place.”

You instantly shake your head. “I won’t date someone who’s working at my favourite pub, I would never be able to eat there again if it ended badly. Think of all the cheese I would have to give up?!”

Val grins broadly. “Fine, then café-dude it is.”

For a moment, you sit in silence and think back on the lean, muscular arms wielding both blades and polearms. The deep, accentuated voice. The olive eyes etched on you. Your body feels considerably warmer and you shift a little where you sit. You try to shake away the sensation, you can’t go falling in love with someone like _him_. It would be utterly useless, senseless, hopeless and... possibly just a little amazing too. The thoughts in your head start to sound like some sort of children’s movie, instead you turn back to Valerio.

“Ask café-dude if Thursday is alright, and I’ll see if cutie is available too. Double-date?”

Tobul leans over from the other side of the couch and hushes at you to be quiet, receiving immature giggles from the two of you.

\--

After the film, Astra puts on some light music to liven up the atmosphere – you might all get nightmares tonight because of Crowe’s choice of movie. Some of the glaives are visiting your movie nights for the first time: Pelna and Axis. The latter is having a look around and stops at the wall by the TV, where a myriad of pictures is hanging. When you pass by on your way to the kitchen, he stops you and give the photos a nod.

“Your family?”

“Yeah”, you give him a quick smile. “They are back in Lestallum. Well most of them, my older brother moved to Meldacio a few months back.”

Axis nods again. “Mine’s back in Galahd. I think.”

“Oh.” You’re not sure how to continue and fiddle with the empty glass in your hands. “I...”

“Where’s your father? Or other mother, if that’s it”, he interrupts, scrutinizing the pictures further. A heavy lump forms in your stomach and you must force yourself not to look down to the ground.

“He’s...” You tighten your jaw. “He’s not part of our lives anymore.”

Axis inquisitively raises an eyebrow as he looks over at you, but you’re not in the mood to give an explanation. In its place he continues: “Is that fair? I assume he helped raise you and your siblings? Don’t you owe him some sort of recognition?”

“I owe him nothing, nor does anyone else.” You cut the conversation short by walking away to your intended destination, but instead of pouring up more orange soda, you open a wine bottle. Speaking about your father, or even thinking the slightest of him, always put you on an emotional trip as the panic started bubbling in your chest.

Astra must have noticed your sudden dismissal from the living room, because she is quickly by your side.

“What did he do?” She rests on the counter next to you and crosses her arms. “Should I throw him out?”

You shake your head and take a big mouth of wine. You’re not much for drowning sorrows with alcohol, but there are, to some degree, exceptions when the situation calls for it. “He just mentioned and guilt-tripped me about the absence of my asshole dad. Though, I left out the asshole part.”

“Want something stronger to take the edge of things?” The redhead nods in the direction of her bedroom, where you know she has a stock of potions – potions she is just a little bit too keen on using even in situations not requiring them. You have stopped trying to convince her to quit the misuse, but you have no intention to start yourself.

“No, thanks.” You sip your wine again and clutch her by the arm, mustering up all the cheerfulness from earlier. You are now set on drowning thoughts of hot advisers and asshole dads with the company of your friends. “Mini-rant over, let’s head back out, I think Val is trying to seduce Nyx again.”


	4. For Hearth and Home and Birthday Cakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk-ish Ignis, at least by his own standards, leads to midnight snacks.

### M.E. 755, June

 

Another ball to watch – always the guard, never the belle, not even on your own birthday. A strained smile plays in the corner of your mouth as you try to keep in a sigh. You stand straight in your spotless uniform, hands behind your back, next to a large column close to the buffet. You can spot Crowe, Nyx, Libertus and the rest standing on carefully calculated spots throughout the great room of the luxurious hotel, Caelum Via.

The King is celebrating the opening of a new Children’s Hospital this evening, and many guests of honour and importance are attending. You have even spotted Crown Prince Noctis for a brief moment. Well, you have seen him before, but the times where few and far apart. Mostly because the Prince had been adamant to move to his own apartment four years ago, and only a small group of Crownsguard or Kingsglaive are allowed to guard his home, while his retinue see to his immediate safety in gatherings such as these. This mostly due to the Prince’s reluctance to be treated as royalty wherever he goes.

The time is nearing 21:00, just another two hours and you will finally get off your shift. Unless something happens, of course. But what could possibly unfold at an event like this, save for gorging canapés. The Accordian ambassador did look a bit sneaky earlier though, as she took a few sips from a flask that she has hiding in her purse. You flinch a little as a voice interrupts your thoughts, and press the headset fitted to your ear.

“Hey, happy birthday, Red!”

You cock an eyebrow and lean to the left, sending Crowe Altius an annoyed look from across the room. The last few birthdays in Crowe’s, among others, company had left you wishing they had forgot about today. “Thanks, Crowe.”

“Think we would forget it? Felt like you needed some comfort after that whooping I gave you yesterday.”

“Hey, be nice, I’m the birthday girl!” Keeping the objection silent, you try to remain invisible to the guests.

“We’ll be heading to the bar later to treat your sorry ass with some much needed… what the hell you prefer drinking”, Crowe says, and Nyx chuckle in his earpiece.

“Thought you would know something about Red by now”, Nyx says quietly. “Just give her a platter of cheese and she’ll be happy all year.”

You can swear you heard Astra stifle a snort somewhere before Crowe replies: “Or perhaps a piece of ass, if that’s more your thing.”

Your superiors had soon become less intimidating as time passed. Nyx Ulric is an accomplished soldier and fierce in battle, but very caring of his comrades. Libertus seems to see all junior officers as his little siblings, especially Crowe for some reason. Crowe… well, Crowe could still scare the Gods if she wished to. Astra and you had learnt that the hard way. “Yeah, we’ll see who’s the sorry ass later, ma’am”, you reply wryly.

“Pardon?” An accented, lilting voice make you jump, and you stare up at the tall man, elegantly dressed in a tuxedo, a dark purple bowtie resting around his collar. The man with the ashy coloured hair and jade eyes. The man you seem to bump into sporadically. Ignis cocks an eyebrow as he pierces you with green eyes from behind his glasses.

Fuck.

You rapidly bow your head with a deep blush spreading on your cheeks in record time. “Forgive me, Sir. I was speaking to my peers about the… eh, safety of the gala.” You can hear the muffled laughter in your earpiece. You are going to kill Crowe later.

“Hm”, Ignis eyes you a moment longer with no expression betraying his thoughts, making you more uncomfortable by the second. Was he going to report you to the Captain? “I’ll assume that we may all feel safe then, you being ready to take care of ‘sorry arses’.” He raises his glass a touch and you think you could see a faint smirk in the corner of his mouth. “Miss.”

Dumbfounded, you watch him as he elegantly strides towards the centre of the room, joining in on a conversation between two well-dressed, older couples.

“Oops, Red got in trouble.” A quiet sing-song voice.

“Shut up, Astra”, you breathe back, happy your cheeks are dialling down the blush.

For the rest of the evening, you avoid any other banter, not wanting to lose face a second time. You see Ignis several times, as he mingles with different important people and occasionally seems to speak sternly to Prince Noctis. You wonder if they consider themselves close friends, but suspect as much when the muscular Gladiolus Amicitia, who seems to have had much difficulty getting into his tuxedo, joins the duo and grinningly punches the Prince on his arm. It was surely meant to be a softer nudge, but the Prince grimaces and sends his Shield an annoyed look. You cannot distinguish what the trio speaks about, but you see Gladiolus gesture towards the entrance doors. Soon after, Ignis walks over to King Regis, Captain Drautos and Marshal Leonis, bowing with poise and telling them something inaudible. The subsequent minute there is a buzz in your earpiece.

“Ulric, Ostium and Talon, report to the garage.” You recognize the Captain’s voice. “You are to drive the Prince’s retinue home.”

You groan inwardly, there was only another ten minutes until your shift would be done, and here you were tasked with taxi duty. You know better than to complain though, and swiftly report to the parking space. “Roger, proceeding to the garage.”

In the underground garage you join Nyx and Libertus, and a commanding officer points to the three cars you are supposed to drive; two black ones and a dark grey. Libertus jokes that the birthday girl should get the special one and Nyx grins slyly. You box his arm lightly before stepping into the grey one, instantaneously enwrapped in a scent of leather and dark coffee. You are slightly perplexed; the Royal cars were typically pretty neutral in their odour since they were frequently cleaned. Before lingering too much on the thought, you drive after the other two.

Well below the stairs to the hotel, the Royal retinue says their farewells before separating towards each car. Your heart sinks when you see Ignis Scientia walking your way. “Why?!” you groan silently. Ignis gives you an equally puzzled look through the window and, to your aggravation, he opens the door to the passenger seat and enter.

“Good evening, Sir.” You greet courteously.

“Ah, good evening, miss”, he returns neutrally, nevertheless his cheeks has turned noticeably more crimson than when you previously saw him.

“I assume you’ll be wanting to go home to the Citadel”, you look over your shoulder to make sure it is clear before driving off from the pavement.

“I do”, Ignis hums. You both sit quietly for a minute, Ignis glancing out the window, the passing lights in the dark throwing shadows on you. When he turns his eyes to you again he looks mildly amused.

“Sir?” You swallow hard. His gaze is making you shift uncomfortable in the seat.

“I wasn’t expecting being given a chauffeur for my own car tonight”, he muses lightly. That would explain the scent and why he sat down in the passenger seat rather than in the back, you gather. And then it hits you; that would also explain Nyx and Libertus’ smug faces – they knew this was the car of the man you embarrassed yourself in front of earlier. Your hands tighten around the steering wheel, if only for a second.

“Well, you wouldn’t want to drive after drinking, Sir”, you reply as objectively as you can.

“Rightly so”, he leans back. A nearly inaudible groan absconds from him and you throw him a curious look. “Pardon me, I favour to keep a clear head, seldomly drinking at all. Nevertheless, the ambassador of Accordo insisted I try some of their ‘specialties’, as she put it.” He carefully massages the bridge of his nose, letting his glasses slide up.

You can’t help smiling at the thought of the suspicious-looking ambassador. She really had been up to no good. “I take it the ambassador would’ve been upset if you declined.”

Ignis huffs and closes his eyes for a moment. “Gravely so, she assured me. She mentioned something about a diplomatic crisis. I’m starting to suspect Noctis is behind her vigorous persuasion.”

“The Prince? I didn’t know His Majesty was such a prankster.” In all fairness, you had difficulty seeing the aloof Prince doing anything else than looking indifferent towards everything in front of him.

“Hmph, quite so.” The next moment the adviser suddenly seems to remember his position, perhaps afraid his revelation about Noctis’ mischief could lead to less flattering tabloids. He straightens in his seat and tugs at his collar before untying the bowtie. “Forgive me, it seems the liquor hit me harder than I anticipated. I don’t generally digress like this.”

Before you can answer there was a loud rumble from the man’s stomach.

“Rambling and craving a midnight snack, Sir? This is turning into quite the party night”, you chuckle lightly, not tearing your eyes from the road. “Though, in all honesty - it might help to avoid the worst of the hangover tomorrow.”

“I fear you are correct.” He lowers his hand from his collar. “Any suggestions you might have?”

“Well, there is this corner pub which serves an incredible platter of different cheeses, olives and crackers. And their homemade marmalade is to die for. Also, hamburgers, if you prefer.”

“By all means”, he almost looks grateful. You make a U-turn at an appropriate intersection and speed off.

Well inside the bar, a quaint little pub called ‘The Usual Place’, it is only moderately filled as it’s only the beginning of the week. You tell the adviser to find somewhere to sit while you order. On your way to the bar you look at the phone - Libertus and Crowe have tried to call you, and you quickly type a response: “ _Sorry, won’t be able to make it, got this amazing birthday gift called ‘overtime’._ ” Once you go looking for Ignis, full plates in hand, you reckon that you don't really mind though, this was so far one of your more interesting shifts. And missing out on weird, drunk, flirty Crowe was almost a relief.

Ignis sits in a booth in the back, where the lights are more dimly lit. He had already removed the bowtie in the car, but now he has also undone the first two buttons on his shirt. On the newly exposed flesh rests a trinket hanging from a thin chain. You find him observing the street outside the window - it has started to rain.

“Here you go, Sir.” You put down the assorted foods: mini hamburgers, a well-filled cheese platter with peach marmalade and crackers, nachos and a full pitcher of water. Ignis raises his eyebrows in surprise. “I wasn’t sure what you would prefer, Sir, so I bought a bit of this and that.”

“Please, call me Ignis. I suspect this is well after your working hours, so let’s drop the formalities.” He smiles kindly at you, green eyes glancing through stray strands of ash blonde hair. You feel a jolt in your stomach.

“Ah, alright. I’m _____ Talon.” You offer him your hand, and with an attentive look he shakes it.

“Pleased to meet you. Ignis Scientia.” There is no need for him to introduce himself and he knows it, but you appreciate the civility. He lets go of your hand and looks at you from behind his spectacles. “If my memory does not fail me, I believe I overheard it being your birthday.”

A deep blush traverses your cheeks. “Oh, yeah.” You don't really know what to say and take a big bite of a miniburger instead and quickly munch it down.

“I’m truly sorry for stealing your leisure time, you must have been planning a celebration of sorts.” He fills a large glass with water from the pitcher and there’s a look of appreciation in his eyes as he drinks it.

“It’s alright, duty first, right?” You smile reassuringly. “For hearth and home!” You raise your glass of water and Ignis follows suit, looking slightly amused.

“For hearth and home. And happy birthday.” He doesn’t let go of you with his eyes as he munches on a piece of cheese. “May I ask for how long you’ve been in the Kingsglaive? I am certain that I recognize you.”

You must turn your gaze down, unable to keep looking into his green hues while they pierced you like that. Dammit, he was handsome, even more so now that his hair seemed to fail from his carefully managed hairdo and his glasses sliding a bit lower on the nose. “I moved to Insomnia when I was nineteen, in 751 and shortly entered as a recruit in the beginning of 752. So…” You count on your fingers. “About, three and a half years.

“Hm, that makes you 23 then.” He takes a piece of a cracker, topped with a reasonable amount of jam and cheese. “You were right, this marmalade is _… to die for_ , as you so delicately put it.” He carefully licks his lips, savouring the taste of peaches as he seems to be deep in thought, and all you can do is to sit, and stare mesmerized. Ignis then reaches into his tuxedo jacket and pulls out a small, worn book. Puzzled you watch him make a few notes in it, and when you out of curiosity peep over your glass of water you notice that he has written recipes on the page before.

“I’m not sure what I’m more surprised about, that you’re carrying around a recipe book or the fact that you started trying to decipher what’s in the marmalade”, you giggle, kindly. This nobleman was far less intimidating when you imagined him making peach jam.

He repays your response with a grin, slightly flushed, before putting his book back. “Well, you never know when you might have a culinary encounter.”

“True, though I suppose I mostly stick to already existing recipes. Maybe I should try making marmalade myself.” You pick up an olive with a toothpick and put it in your mouth, enjoying the bitter, salty taste.

“Perhaps you should.” He swirls the water in his glass, much like an expensive drink. Green hues then meet your eyes. “If you prefer following existing recipes I could send you some of my personal favourites.”

You fear you would have choked on the olive, had you not swallowed the last of it a moment ago. Noting your embarrassment, Ignis casually adds: “As a sort of thanks, indubitably. For introducing me to this amiable place.”

“I-, um, alright, I’d like that.” You hope the blush hasn't reached your ears, looking like a stop sign was never a flattering look on anyone. You avert your eyes and bring your phone up, handing it to Ignis for him to enter his number. You then open an empty message to write:  
  
_“Hi”_

Ignis’ phone chimes softly, and a smile ghosts his lips when he sees the text, saving your number to his contacts before turning to you again. “Hello.”

Your throat seems to narrow, it is harder to breathe as you try to just comprehend the entire situation. Ignis however seems as composed as ever, as he indulges in another piece of cheese while observing you.

“Where you stationed as guard during the birthday celebration of Noctis last August? I believe I saw you back then.”

You are surprised that he’d remember such an obscure thing, seeing as you had been mostly been standing far back in the garden where the formal celebration had taken place. You are however happy for the break of tension. “Yeah, I was there, patrolling the party.”

“I presume you’ve learnt to stick your landings by now?” A smile plays on his lips. Of course, he had to remember that, their first meeting and when you had less gracefully landed on your back looking like a bug in need of assistance. You grimace.

“I’m doing triple somersaults now,” you joke.

“Good to hear.” Ignis grins warmly before seemingly pondering on something. “I’ve seen your face a few times before our meeting in the sparring hall, around the Citadel. And afterwards.” He sips on his water. “It’s lovely to look at.”

So much for breaking the tension. The man must be more intoxicated than you first thought. “Sir-”

“Ignis.”

 “Sir Ignis, you’re drunk.” You smirk slightly. “I believe it’s about time for me to take you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These large time-skips will be over for a while now. 8) Ty for the kudos <3
> 
> Also, yes, reader is given a lastname for the sake of simplicity, also easier when it comes to the family-stuff further down the road. c:


	5. Cheese, Wine, and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are in dire need of rescue from mathematical monsters.

### M.E. 755

 

Two days later, after some almost infuriatingly eventless training days outside the city, you wake up to the chime of your phone: the sound of rustling leaves and water slowly increasing in volume. You turn off the alarm and look at the unread messages from a group chat last night.

 

**_Crowe_ **

_When are you gonna make up for ditching us, Red?_

**_Nyx_ **

_It really took that long dropping of Lord Glasses the other night? His Royal Sleepyhead couldn’t wait to get out of the car._

**_Valerio_ **

_Was he cute?_

**_Valerio_ **

_The Prince obviously. Lord Glasses is low-key hot, but not my cup of tea. Our glasses would just tangle up all the time._

**_Nyx_ **

_Val, stop. As your superior, I order you._

**_Valerio_ **

_I wasn’t stationed at the party the other day, gimme something dammit! ANYTHING._

**_Astra_ **

_Besides_ that _never happening?_

**_Valerio_ **

_A boy can dream._

**_Nyx_ **

_I’m outta here, remember that we’re shipping out early on Monday._

You scroll through the rest of the conversation as the bickering continue, before writing your own reply:

**_You_ **

_Sorry for ditching, I’ll make it up to you! I’ll buy you a round next time._

It’s a surprise when the phone vibrates almost immediately.

**_Crowe_ **

_Tonight?_

You are somewhat amazed that she’s up this early.

**_You_ **

_Can’t, have a date. Tomorrow? I’m free this weekend._

**_Crowe_ **

_Sounds good, think Nyx and Libertus get off late tho._

**_Val_ **

_I can’t but have fun and kiss mystery bloke from me._

**_Astra_ **

_I’m game, also, is it that dude you showed me the other day? The one from the university?_

**_You_ **

_Mhm, Mr R, date 1.0._

**_Astra_ **

_Niiiice. I’ll fix the groceries when I get off._

You put your phone away and get out of bed and undertake some multitasking by throwing together a toasted bread while making coffee and brushing your hair. Today was Citadel duty, watching the main entrance until you got off at six. Then you would have to hurry to the restaurant where Mr R would be waiting, luckily it wasn’t far.

Munching on your toast on your way to the train, you feel less excited about the date than you had felt previous day. The thought of going out with an intelligent university teacher had been tickling, but something else seemed to occupy your thoughts. The image of a certain adviser carefully licking his lips and telling you that he found your appearance _lovely_. What did that even mean?

The car ride back to the Citadel the other night had been interesting but left you in a pandemonium of thoughts. Ignis had been very kind and charming, asking about how far you had come as a Kingsglaive, how you had found ‘The Usual Place’ and if you had any other culinary havens you would recommend. It was all very civil. Until you had parked the car and was about to hand over the keys to their owner. In a fleeting movement, he had softly grasped the entire hand instead of just the keys, and slowly raised it to his lips before thanking you for the ride and parting ways.

It had all been very chaste, but it still, some days later, caused your heart to skip beats. Especially at the possibility, or perhaps fear, of running into Ignis during your shift. He did work and live at the Citadel, after all.

Fortunately, the shift passed by without any incidents; no sneaky advisers snuck up on you even once. So, you hurry to the changing rooms, and meet Val on his way out of the men’s, who launches a choking hug upon you, before you head into the showers. After a quick make-up fix, you change into a Duke blue, knee length dress with creases draping your body and step into a pair of cute, embraided flats. It will have to do, since the date had wanted to meet at 7. At least the restaurant is close by. You leave your bag in the locker and pick up the purse instead, then take a quick look in the mirror before heading out. No matter how the date tuned out, at least you felt pretty.

\--

And lucky that. Mr R was indeed a university teacher, and rather handsome at that, sporting a grey blazer with matching slacks, a finely chiselled face and endearing brown eyes. But he was dull as a brick. You had hoped for some more action, as his messages on the dating app had been far more adventurous. Instead he went on and on about himself and how he and his colleagues debate what kind of mathematical system to use in something you didn’t even bother to remember.

You take solace in the food being delicious; fish from the area of Galdin Quay with some carefully prepared local vegetables. When Mr R some time later excuses himself to go to the restroom, you take out your phone, opening a group message to Astra and Val.

**_You_ **

_Help me, Mr R is Mr Lame. I’m sure he’s brilliant at his work, but I really can’t stand another session of comparing charts to one another. I’ll soon make my own diagram of how my anticipation of romance has decreased during these past 113 minutes._

**_Val_ **

_Hah! Sorry, not funny. Or maybe a little. Didn’t you go out with some snotty artist last month? The one who was sure he would be contacted by the Gods soon? Maybe they could get together to decipher when the Astrals will make connection, making some artsy charts at the same time._

**_Astra_ **

_113 minutes? You’re allowed to make a tactful exit soon, start strategizing soldier. Btw, I won’t sleep home tonight, but the fridge is full at least._

You put the phone down again when your date arrives back at the table. As his face is positively beaming, you feel a prickle of guilt – he seems so glad and all you want is to leave. Maybe you can endure it for just a little longer.

“Did you know that a council member came by the other week? It was all in the news. She said it was very important she got to meet me, and wishes for me personally to start calculating the mass of …” You zone out again, this wasn’t going to work. Your thoughts are interrupted by Mr Lame yet again.

“Another glass of wine? I could sit here all night just talking to you.” The man rests his head on his knuckles and glances at you from across the table, while you shift somewhat awkwardly in your seat. It didn’t matter how hot he was, you would rather be struck by Ramuh than have to listen to mathematical predicaments and council members doing whatsoever. Without awaiting an answer, your date turns to get the attention of a waiter.

“I, um...” Your phone chimes again and you look down and freeze. Ignis’ name shows up, and below it a short message:

_In need of assistance?_

You frown at the sentence – how could he possibly...? You dart your head up and look around the restaurant. Over by the bar, you spot him. Ignis is putting his wallet back into his jacket before raising his hand in a quiet greeting, then nodding in the direction of the wine-ordering man in front of you. You nod back.

“So, what do you say, a bottle of white perhaps? And don’t worry about payment, I’ll gladly pay tonight”, Mr R chatters away, unaware of the mute conversation you just had with Ignis. Then even you make a startled jump as the voice of the adviser cuts in on the chat between your date and the waiter.

“Ah, Colonel Talon, I ask for your forgiveness, but we’ve received word that the Council is in immediate need of your presence, Ma’am.” Ignis steps up to your table and bows his head in your direction, and your cheeks flush a bit – you are a far way from colonel, being only a second lieutenant. Ignis sends you a meaning look, and you play along. You abruptly stand up in front of the surprised date and waiter and open your wallet before putting down a large bill on the table.

“Pardon, it seems duty is calling. Here, I believe this should cover at least my share.”

“I didn’t even know you were military.” Mr R has a look of shock mixed with excitement in his face as his eyes wander wantonly over you. As you put on your thin trench coat you look at him flatly.

“No, I’d be surprised if you knew, you’ve only been talking about yourself all night. Good evening.” After shooting down any hope he might have had about a second date, or a quick shag, you turn on your heel and leave with Ignis by your side.

Once you're out of the restaurant and safe from any eavesdropping, you can’t help letting out a giggle. Ignis smiles and raises an eyebrow, watching you curiously.

“Sorry.” You wave a hand in front of your face. “I am just feeling so relieved of being out of there, and at the same time so amazed that it would be you rescuing me.”

“Well, one simply does not pass up on saving a damsel in distress”, he chuckles and pushes his glasses back up his nose. You shift your weight from one foot to another. He looks very sweet when he smiles, you think. “Now, may I offer you a ride home, before your escape is rendered a lie?”

“Oh, I…” You’re about to protest and convince him that you’ll just head to the underground, but silence and realise that it actually would be quite nice not having to wait for the train for once. “Sure, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Not at all”, he smiles and gestures towards the parking lot, where his grey, spotless car is waiting. Ignis opens for door for you and when you’re securely inside he closes the door before heading over to the driver seat. You smile at his chivalrousness, enjoying being truly seen by _someone_ tonight. “I actually had an ulterior motive speaking with you.”

You stop as you are putting your seatbelt on, looking at him. It is hard to read his face, his intentions. Had you just got out of the fire and into the frying pan? Those fears are swiftly reduced as you see him look embarrassed.

“I need to thoroughly apologise.”

“For what?” You are honestly baffled and finish buckling the belt. Ignis opens up his GPS and you start entering your address into it.

“For the other night, I was not acting very graciously. I am truly remorseful for my behaviour.” Ignis looks as if the world has crumbled a bit underneath him.

A small laughter escapes you before you can help it as you realise that this was the kind of man who would find immense shame in even giving someone else too much change back, fearing it would bother them. He sends you a rueful smile but seems to relax.

“Trust me, as far as taking care of drunk people goes, you weren’t even on level one of the pain scale.” You smile reassuringly, and he nods with relief, starting the car. The fact that he has had your heart doing cartwheels is a knowledge best unspoken. For the time being, in any case. “But I’m curious, what were you doing here?” Then a thought strikes you. “Oh, did you also need to get away from a bad date?”

Ignis’ grin widens slightly as he puts on the blinkers before driving out on the main road. “Nothing of the sort, my friend Gladio and I shared a meal together. This restaurant has a quite appetizing variation of Altissian cuisine.” He notices your questioning look. “Gladio found himself company in the bar and left some moments before I noticed you, and by the bothered look on your face, I felt I might at least ask if you needed assistance.”

“I was that transparent and the university lector couldn’t even pick up on it. I think you just gave me more reason to thank you.” You grin and cross your arms over your chest. “So, you were acting wingman tonight?”

“Not quite.” A light flush appears on his cheeks as he pushes his glasses back, not that he needed to though. “Nevertheless, Gladio always has a way of finding conquests whether he actively looks for them or not.”

You lean back in the seat and tilt your head, growing a bit bolder as you observe him. The adviser’s focus is on the road, hence giving you an opportunity to have a closer look at him. He has some birthmarks scattered on his face and you wish you could sit and draw you finger from spot to spot, as if creating a constellation of stars. Pulling your head out of the gutter, you clear your throat.

“What about you, then? Were you looking for a ‘conquest’?”

Ignis gives you a sideways look, and you’re surprised by his somewhat sly grin. “Is that what you would have of me?”

“N-no, well”, you stutter and must turn your gaze out the windshield. “I admit that I first thought so when I gave you my number, but then you didn’t call or anything so… then I thought that… maybe you weren’t the one-night stand-kind of person after all.” The last words stumble out of you in a bit of a blur, a bit ashamed at yourself for implying that the Prince’s adviser might have wanted to sleep with you. There is a slight blush brushing the man’s face again and you fear you have made him very uncomfortable.

Ignis clears his throat and lets a finger drum on the steering wheel. “Well, while I have dabbled in that sort of game, it is however far from often. I merely found you genuinely charming that night.” He seems to collect himself just as quickly as your mind is going blank. “When you carried over those plates brimming with food, I simply felt…” He searches for the right word. “Well, _seen_ , I suppose. And cared for.”

Ignis continues: “Though part of it might have been a drunken whim, I still sincerely think you would be nice to get to know.”

“Even if I’m way below your paygrade?”

“Perhaps even more so.” A gentle smile sits on his lips. “It might be the Prince affecting me, but I’ve grown rather fond of his commoner friend, and it has made me realise that it is positive to make connections on different levels of the social ladder. Besides, I’m loathe to believe that rank would stop me from making new friends.”

You feel more composed by his words. “I think that sounds nice.”

When you pull up outside your complex, Ignis swiftly gets out of the car, rounding it before opening your door. You take the gloved hand he’s offering, feeling your heart speed up a bit. If this was how he treated _you_ , then wondered how the royal treatment was.

“Well, I assume we’re even now, I drove you home last time”, you joke lightly as you step out of the car. Ignis hums back. Before you head into the apartment foyer he says:

“Care to make it uneven again sometime soon?” He stands there, hands in his pockets, looking straight at you.

You can’t help the blush, and even less the hopeful bubble budding in your stomach. As you’re getting inside you say: “I’d like that.”

\--

The music is loud as you make way through the masses of people. In your hands are several bottles of this and that. You promised to treat the others tonight, so that was what you’re going to do. You meet Astra on your way over to the table, and she is saying something, but you can’t make out what.

“How was the date?!” She yells louder into your ear, and you fear an ear drum might burst anytime. Astra had been the one to pick the place, a dance club in the rougher streets.

“Let’s go over to the others!” You shout back, and she nods, taking a few of the bottles from you. Back at the table, in a dusky corner, sits Crowe and a few other Glaives – Axis, Pelna and, you jump at the sight, Tobul.

“Toby!” You quickly discard the bottles onto the table and throw yourself around your teammate’s neck. “When did you come back?!”

“Hey Red! Yesterday, though late. How you been?” He laughs deeply and let's go of you, letting you get a chance to eye him properly. He looks rough, and there are recently healed scars on his dark arms, as well as one on his neck. Beneath his eyes are dark circles. He looks completely beat, and yet he is able to smile. It makes you shudder, the reality of what awaits beyond the wall. Astra hands him a beer and sits down sandwiched between Crowe and Axis, while you take a seat next to Tobul and Pelna.

“I’m good, how was the outer wall?”

A frown appears between Tobul’s brows as he tastes the beer, and he takes a moment. When he finally answers, it’s with a sombre voice: “Intense. You’ll all be asked out there before long.”

Axis snorts. “Yeah? Well, that king of ours just can’t wait to use us as cannon fodder. Fucking, uptight nobility. Heard one of them gave Luche a hard time at the Citadel the other week, some old lord upstairs by the council.”

“We’re nothing to them”, Pelna adds bitterly.

“Gah, please, no more war-talk tonight!” Astra grunts and Crowe approves wholeheartedly, raising her bottle.

“Happy belated birthday, Red, next time you won’t get away so easily!” They all clink their bottles and glasses while cheering. Astra leans over Crowe, towards you.

“So, did you get away from Mr Hot-But-Not?” She ignores Crowe’s eye roll.

“Yeah, I...” You’re not sure what to say, given the talk just a minute ago. But then again, why should you tip-toe around the subject? Nothing had even happened. “I was effectively saved by Lord Glasses.”

Crowe chokes on her beer and Astra nearly drops down into the woman’s lap as she’s still leaning over her. Tobul gives a low chuckle, while Axis and Pelna look mostly confused.

“You got saved by the Prince’s adviser?” Astra stares at you in disbelief. “Why would he do that?”

You realize you hadn’t told them the whole truth about the night you drove Ignis home. Was now really the time to tell them you had dissed them to have a late snack with the intoxicated nobleman? By looking at Axis and Pelna’s dark mugs, maybe it wasn’t.

“I suppose he then recognized me in the restaurant. I did drive him from the party earlier this week.”

Astra snorts, still not convinced but straightens up by putting her hands on Crowe’s thighs. Said woman shoves her back into her own seat.

“No touching unless you’re inviting me back to your place.” Crowe grumbles with a cough, still trying to get her voice back from choking earlier.

“Please don’t", you say with a pout. “I’m pulling the roommate-card.”

\--

Later, after dancing every concern away since Astra insisted on doing so, you find yourself at the bar, ordering another drink. The dancefloor is still swarming despite the hour getting late, and as soon as you left Astra and Tobul there, you lost them. It is a bit calmer by the bar, which you appreciate. Sitting on a high stool, you rest your arms against the table and sip on your drink in while just listening to the loud music and feeling the bass in your chest. Your solitude is however cut short when Axis sits down next to you. In all honesty, you’re not quite sure what to think of him. The brunette man joined the glaives the same year as you, but he had proved to be of the shyer kind and hard to read, and therefore you weren’t as close to him as your first teammates.

Axis shoots you a glance and grins. “What are you having?”

You shrug and take another mouthful. “I’m good. This one is semi-strong, tastes a bit of blood orange and has a sensible quantity of vodka – just up my alley.” Axis nods and orders a whisky.

“You know”, he begins, swirling the amber liquid in his glass once he receives it. “We could leave and get back to my place. It’s only a block away.”

“Huh? Like, after-party?” You blink a few times, unsure if the alcohol is making you more confused than otherwise. Axis seems slightly annoyed by this, but quickly smoothens his face.

“Kinda, but I would like it better if it was only you and I.” His hand slides over to your knee, and slowly caresses its way up your jeans-clad thigh. He leans closer to you and his voice is a whisper by your ear. “I’ve wanted to bend you over and fuck you senseless for a long time now. I want to hear you cry my name.”

“Wow”, you say and grip his hand, not so gently pushing it away and then standing up. “Thanks, but no thanks, I don’t do work.” The man looks dumbfounded by your rejection and is about to object, but you won’t have it. Still a bit shocked and irritated by Axis’ sudden disclosure, you leave the bar and enter the sea of dancing people to find your friends.

\--

As Astra and you are walking home from the train, she keeps sending you knowing looks, but you won’t take the bait. You are still in a sour mood from Axis’ behaviour – mostly because when you were saying your goodbyes, he had the audacity to be angry with  _you_ , and refused to even look at you. If he couldn’t take a no, then you were better off without him, you reason.

“What’s the time?” Astra finally asks to break the silence, and as soon as you pick up your mobile to check, she snatches it from your hand.

“Hey!” You try to reach for it, but the small woman is surprisingly good at keeping you away. And the alcohol has decided to mingle thoroughly with your reflexes tonight. With an impish grin she unlocks your phone – why, _why_ had you let her see your code that time four months ago, and _why_ hadn’t you changed it. Well likely because you had been in the shower and really wanted her to see a silly picture of a chocobo-riding cat. Priorities weren’t always your strong suit. Astra lights up triumphantly and waves the phone in front of your face.

“Hah! I knew it!” Ignis’ message burns into your eyes in the dark. Astra looks over it once more before giving the phone back. “Though that was a whole lot of nothing. Unless ‘ _In need of assistance?_ ’ means you were fingering yourself while he was watching, and he was just too shy to say he wanted to help you. That’s pretty kinky, though. Sexts taken to a new level.”

“Astra!” You hiss and put the phone down, but you can’t really be mad at her. She won’t say a word about it, without given your explicit permission. Whatever _it_ even was. “He was ‘drunk’ when I drove him back earlier this week, and when I say drunk I mean ‘Oh, dear ye old king’-drunk, not Crowe’s or your ‘let’s get wasted till next month’-drunk. So, I stopped at The Usual Place and got him cheese.”

Astra gives you a flat look before bursting out in an unstoppable laughter. “Of course you did, I swear, only you would do that instead of jumping his bones. Let me guess, complete with marmalade and the rest?”

You blush a little and elbow her lightly as you side by side head home. “Pft, he really liked it and now I have his number. That’s it. Finito.”

Astra shrugs and sends you a devilish smile. “If you say so. I’m just saying that I won’t pull the roommate-card if you ever bring him over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, it really makes my day. <3 Flirting shall by now ensue! (In the story, that is.)


	6. Dreams of Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Stuff starts happening.

### M.E. 755, Late June

An evening, about a week later, your phone beeps softly in the dark. Assuming it is Astra or Val, you unlock it and divert your eyes from the book you’re reading. The two of them had tried to persuade you to come with them to a bar, but you weren’t in the mood. Especially since Axis would be going, and he still made weird comments around you. If Tobul hadn’t been sent back outside the wall, you with have considered enduring it.

As you see Ignis’ name on the display of the phone, you swallow hard and put the book away, knowing you will be unable to keep reading now. 

**_Ignis_ **

_Hello_ _, this is Ignis. I wished to reach out sooner, but I’m afraid_ _work made it impossible. How are you?_

With a lopsided smile you just gaze at the phone for a minute. He is writing. To  _you_.

**_You_ **

_Hi, I’m good. What about you? Besides being busy, ofc._ _Haven’t seen you in the Citadel lately._

**_Ignis_ **

_How unfortunate, we must’ve missed each other. I am well enough but reckon I could be better. It turns out I am as free as I can be the next couple of days. Therefore, I was wondering if you would like to meet this weekend? A walk or a coffee, perhaps? The_ _fore_ _cast_ _predicts_ _clear skies tomorrow._

He wants to see you, walk with you, talk with you. This is all getting to your head, way too fast. Part of you wonders if this is some crude joke, maybe he’s setting you up to have a laugh with his friends à la “look at this pitiful woman, she actually thought I was interested in her”. No, you push the thought away. From the little interaction you’ve had, Ignis does not strike you as that kind of person. And a walk in the park is harmless.

**_You_ **

_I’d like that. The park by the_ _university_ _library, by 10? There’s a nice café by the flower gardens._

**_Ignis_ **

_I’ll meet you by the_ _café_ _then. All the best._

\--

The next morning, you tiptoe into Astra’s room and find her half-naked on the bed, only wearing undies and the blanket halfway to the floor. You sit down next to her on the bed and gently shake her shoulder, trying to rouse her. She grumbles and shifts in the bed, baring the side of her face with the tattoo. You realize she still hasn’t told you why she has a fox tattooed on her face. Maybe it’s common to do so where she’s from?

“Hey, I need to talk.”

“Talk to Valerio”, she mutters from under an arm. Mentioned man is snoring heavily on the sofa, and there is no sign of him waking up anytime soon.

“I tried, he was about to warp-strike me in his sleep.”

“I might too, it’s way too early.”

“It’s nine soon”, you scoff and pull your legs up on the bed. “It’s about the young lord.”

“Glasses?” Astra looks up at you with a questioning look. “You stood us up last night to hang out with him again?”

You shake your head. “We’re meeting in an hour, by the library park. What do I do?”

Astra pushes herself up to rest on her elbows, pondering for a few seconds. “What do  _you_ want? You have to admit it’s a bit strange of a man like  _him_  to suddenly just be interested in hanging out. He’s a lord, right? A proper one, I mean. Isn’t he meant to, I don’t know, court noble ladies or something?”

“I suppose”, you nod. You’ve considered this as well.

“Then, realistically, you have to be some sort of shallow fling at best, right?” The small hope you have die a bit at her words, but you know there’s sense to what she says.

“He said he wanted to get to know me”, you defend and hate that you sound like some kindergarten kid. “Well, as friends I guess. But Tipsy-Ignis said my face was lovely to look at.”

Astra sighs and falls back on the bed. “Then my bet is a fuck or two and then he’s out. Not that it’s a bad thing, I just don’t want to see your heart break over some nobleman. Because then I’d have to punch his face. And then I’d get court-martialled. So just don’t fall in love, ok?”

You appreciate her concern, even though you had wished for other words. Standing up, you throw the blanket over her and blow a kiss her direction when she wishes you luck. In the living room, Val is still asleep as you finish up the last of your routine before heading out, locking the door securely behind you.

The train ride is not very long, and you arrive a little early at the garden. It gives you time to look around and appreciate the prospering flowers – there's innumerable different roses, lilies, trees and whatnot. If you ever got your own farm, you wanted flowers, fruits and vegetables everywhere, along with some animals. You lean into and smell the scent of a pink, ball-formed rose. It is deep and sweet, and you touch the soft petals carefully with your fingers.

“Ah, the Lousie Odier.” 

You straighten yourself and look behind you, finding Ignis just a few steps away. You give him a perplexed look and he nods to the rosebush.

“It’s called that, and it is one of the most fragrant roses there is. Though, it is blossoming a bit early, it is usually in full bloom by July or August.” 

“You seem to know a thing or two about flowers”, you chuckle softly, impressed and surprised simultaneously.

“I take pride in knowing things”, he smiles gently and meets your gaze. “At least, to know if something is comfortably comestible or not, or if it might have other advantageable properties. Have you waited long?”

You shake your head and return his smile with a beam of your own. “No, I got here just a short while ago. So, coffee first?”

The café is a quaint one, just the way you like it, and it sits picturesquely in the middle of the large park, close to a great rosary. After ordering, you find a small, empty table underneath a parasol on the wood deck. The breeze is warm and gentle, rustling the nearby leaves tenderly. 

“Have you been here many times?” Ignis asks, holding his cup of coffee in hand. 

You nod and swallow your own mouthful of brew. “I love coming here from spring to autumn, to see the vegetation change during the seasons. It’s a nice break from all the training and Kingsglaive-business.”

“I can imagine.” Ignis puts down his cup and looks musingly at the garden. “I used to come here often as a child. Usually for the library, even so my uncle enjoyed taking strolls here after I finished. He still does, I presume.”

You raise your eyebrows. “You used to come to the university library as a kid? Wasn’t the Citadel library enough? I’m just assuming there is one.”

He chuckles and let’s his eyes wander towards what can be discerned of the university – an old building with tall towers. “Your assumption is correct. I relished expanding my knowledge about more present matters as much as historic ones, and soon found out that the university library had more updated literature, while the Citadel one was a perfect source of older material.” 

You angle your head ever so slightly, coffee cup between your hands. “I wish I had your ambitions as a kid, I just ran around playing with the neighbour’s chocobo chicks or threw.”

“Oh, so you enjoy riding chocobos then?” Ignis takes a bite of his key lime pie and you shake your head.

“No, not really. I fell off one as a kid… They are beautiful, but honestly, I’m a bit scared of them since then. The chicks are adorable though. I always wanted a chick, so my mother had to keep reminding me that they grew to be big chocobos in the end.” You laugh a little at the thought of the naïve, seven-year-old you. 

“You grew up on a farm then?” He watches you with genuine interest and receives another nod from you 

“Yes, a small one set in the middle of the Fallgrove and Kettier Highland, but we moved when I was about 14.” You silently wonder how much you dare share with him. Ignis looks thoughtful as well.

“If I may be so bold, might I ask why you decided to join the Kingsglaive? Most others are refugees from Galahd or adjacent regions.”

“I…” The all too familiar pain in your chest, which you have almost managed to completely subdue during the years in Insomnia, reminds you yet again that you will never be truly free of the memories. You dislike lying, but don’t want to scare him away, settling for something semitrue. “I just wanted to protect my family and home.”

Ignis appears to find the answer sensible. “It is very commendably, I hold the highest regard for the Kingsglaive.”

You decide to steer away from the subject, not feeling like talking about the glaives and why you joined them. “What is your favourite thing to do during summer?” you ask before biting down on the piece of mud cake on your fork. It is deliciously moist and chocolate-y, almost melting in your mouth and you have to stifle a moan. Ignis watches you with amusement as he finishes another bite of pie. 

“Well, when the weather is this sultry, I have to confess I enjoy visiting the market in the southern districts. They have a marvellous stock of ingredients.”

“Oh right, you had that small recipe book.” You perk up where you sit. “Managed to recreate that marmalade?”

Ignis laughs mildly. “No, it remains undeciphered as of yet, though there has scarcely been time for experimentation lately. As his retainer, Noctis’ duties are mine. For one, I attend conferences and council meetings as his proxy.”

Council meetings. Meaning Ignis sits there, close to the King, in the stead of the Prince. Once more, you wonder about the surreal feeling you’ve had since you first spoke to him, some years ago – there had to be more important, more interesting people for him to meet. “Can I ask you a question?” You look up at him and he hums affirmatively. “Why did you want to see me?”

You notice him hesitate for a slight moment, before replying: “The short answer would be to simply get to know you.” He takes a drink of his dark coffee, as to gain another second to contemplate. 

“Why?” you ask again. 

“I am not very experienced in this kind of conversation, I must admit.” His cheeks are fairly heated. “However, and do take this the right way, the times we’ve met, though few, they have given me a small semblance of what life can be when it does not solely revolve around… work.”

“I think I need some preface.” You rest your chin on a hand and smile encouragingly; it might not be very kind to put him on the spot like this, but his flustered face is just short of delight to watch.

“As you know, you being a glaive, I am part of the Prince’s retinue. My life has circled around his since I was a young child, being brought up by his side to guide and aid him.” There’s a hint of something in his eyes, and you reckon it to be love, and perhaps a bit of pride. The fact that his life was decided for him does not seem to become him, at least not noticeably. “And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Nevertheless, making contact with new people, who has no linking to the royal family whatsoever, has proved a challenge, at least once they know who I am and who I am close to.”

You connect the dots. “So, people befriend you to get close to the Prince?”

He nods and takes one more sip before continuing. “Regrettably, yes.” He sets down the cup and looks at you a bit more intensely. “But you have hardly mentioned Noctis at all. Nor any other connected to the royals. I appreciate that dearly.” 

It is your turn to blush and you play a little with the spoon in hand, spinning it around between fingers. “I guess I’m just more interested in getting to know  _you_ , not Ignis the Adviser, Crownsguard or Nobleman. There’s been plenty of briefs about the royal family and their closest associates to last, I don’t need more of that. It’s not that big of a deal, really.”

Ignis notes your uneasiness around the topic. “How about taking that walk in the garden? There may be more flowers I can point out for you.” Impressed, and a little scared, by his sensitivity to your change in demeanours, you agree, and the two of you head out into the park which in bathing in sunlight.

As you stroll on narrow paths through the park, you realise how intimate it is – something you’ve never considered on past walks with friends. The lack of width forces you to walk close to each other, and you pray to Shiva that he cannot hear your heart beating, since it feels as if it’s about to leave your body by its own accord. Here and there are small signposts, informing the park’s guests about the florae along with other trivia. By the time you reach the glasshouse rosary, you make a game of it, and Ignis skilfully identifies the majority of the roses without looking at the signs. The times he fails, he just laughs at your teases. 

He shoots you a glance which you swear is just short of being mischievous – can such a cultured man as himself really look like that? “Care to make a wager?” He watches a pretty, white rose before turning his gaze to you. You ponder for a short while. 

“A gambler, huh? You’ve guessed most of them right, so the odds are not really in my favour, Sir Ignis”, you smile playfully. “What’s on the table?”

“If you are victorious, I shall bring you to the orangery in the Citadel and we will cook some astounding marmalade.”

You cheer up at the thought. “That’s a prize I’d gladly win. What if I lose?”

“You let me treat you to a proper dinner, as thanks for the charming experience at the pub a few weeks ago.” Ignis looks at you calmly, and your knees feel weak. He brushes the white rose with a gloved finger. “And I promise I shall listen to every word you might have to say, devotedly.” 

He’s referring to the disaster of a date he saved you from. You swallow hard and force yourself to meet his eyes.

“It’s seems either way, I win.”

Ignis gives you a gentle, lopsided smile. “Well then?”

“Alright, this one.” You skip ahead a few steps to take a look at the name of the plant – a hedge about 1-2 meters tall with masses of single, small roses which are fading in colours from yellow, to pink, to orange and crimson.

“Ah”, he steps closer, still a safe distance from the sign to assure you he won’t peek at it. He has equipped a poker face, and you are incapable to read his face at first – until you notice the smallest wrinkle of laughter by his eye. 

You’ve lost. 

“I’d say this is a  _rosa_ _chinensis_ , a  _mutabilis_ one. Also known as ‘the butterfly rose’.”

“How do you do that?” You watch him in amazement. He chuckles lightly and puts his hands in the pockets of his slacks while walking to stand next to you, glancing at the sign below.

“As I mentioned, I strive to know things. And I might have read up a little in advance, after our text conversation yesterday.” His green eyes meet yours. “I loath to pass up on a chance to impress.”

“You cheated.” It is meant as a joke, but sounds so weak in your ears, as if his presence is absorbing your words.

“Only when it benefits my friends”, he replies in a low voice, not tearing away his gaze. “How does Wednesday sound?”

“Y-yeah, it’s good. I get off at seven.” You gulp as soundlessly as you can, your throat feels narrower and your mind is entering some kind of haze. It would be so easy to close the space between you – a single step and you could be tasting his lips. “Where?”

“Mind if I keep it a surprise for now?” Ignis leisurely brushes past you, down the rosary and you follow. He is so smooth at this. Privately you reflect; if this is how he makes friends, you imagine he must be making out and fucking Noctis and Gladiolus all the time, because this is straight up flirting by your standards. 

Astra’s words echo in your mind: a fuck or two, and then he’s out. If that is the case, he sure is dragging it out. You need to keep yourself from falling head over heels, or you will surely break once he’s gone. Keep it casual, you tell yourself. And then he turns to make sure he’s not lost you and your willpower crumbles ever so slightly.

\--

As you are outdoors again, walking towards the parking lot, the tension eases a bit. He tells you about the different fruits you pass by and you are yet again fascinated by his vast knowledge. In an attempt to prove you’re not totally clueless, you point at a big tomato.

“My mother used to grow these when I was a child, back at our farm. Lucian tomatoes. She even managed to grow some Tenebraen rasberries despite the lack of mountains.” Ignis watches you speak, with an earnest look on his face. 

“She doesn’t grow them any longer?”

“No, she lives in Lestallum now, with my younger brother.” A sad smile brushes your lips, just for a split second. It’s enough for Ignis not to pursue it further.

“Perhaps you could bring some Insomnian specialties to her sometime. I’d gladly help you pick, should you wish.”

“Thank you.” 

He and you keep walking, and as you can spot the car, his phone rings. He motions apologetically to you while answering with a slight wince.

“Yes, Noct?”

You shuffle your feet a bit awkwardly, looking away while trying not to eavesdrop. Well, not too much, at any rate.

Ignis sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Dare I ask why?” Another moment of silence before he ends the call with his voice covered in resignation: “I’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.”

He turns back to you and you smile politely at him. “I regret that I need to be on my way.” He actually looks visibly disappointed.

“Oh, it’s fine.” You wave his apology away and receives a mildly concerned look back.

“It is very ill-mannered of me not to offer you a ride home.” 

“It’s fine,  _really_ ”, you emphasize reassuringly. “Duty first, right? Besides, I can’t wait for it to be Wednesday.” 

His posture softens, and he nods. “I’ll contact you during the week.” 

You wave goodbye and watch him drive away, certain that you see him throw a last glance at you.

\--

Back home you find Astra swearing in the kitchen, some of the curses are obviously in her native dialect. The redhead looks up as she hears you walk past.

“Hey! How was the date? Oh, fucking rice, I burnt it again.” The shorter woman continues to battle with the pots.

“It was nice, I…” You feel dizzy. “I’ll take a shower, see you in a bit.”

“Sure, just watch it, Val might’ve used your towel earlier.”

You lock the door to the bathroom and pull off the t-shirt, the bra falling to the floor shortly after. Your eyes trace over the figure in the mirror – how would he respond if he saw your body? Fingers unbutton the jeans, slowly pulling them down and then you step out of them. Did he fantasise about you this way? Did he visualise your skin against his?

The thought of Ignis is taking over, and it is driving you into some new kind of emotional state, one you haven’t experienced before. A state somewhere between bliss and hell. You force your mind out of the gutter and step into the shower to rinse away the intruding feelings.

You and love have a complicated past, something you’d come to terms with quite early on in life. You are also well aware of why this is. The relationship between your mother and father had been destructive, so say the least. This had made an impact on you, you remained doubtful a relationship could last peacefully. Thus, all flings since teenage years had only lasted a few months, or half a year, at best. 

On the whole, long-term has never been your thing. So, having a short flirt with Ignis really wouldn’t be the end of the world. Yet you are reluctant to imagine letting this feeling go – the one you get each time he looks your way. The eyes that always seem to calculate every possible step.

Showering away the hot ache in your body is surely failing. Instead, you rapidly unscrew the showerhead and aim the steady stream of water against the sensitive bud between your legs. A low, breathy moan escapes you and you lean back against the cold wall. Ignis’ green, piercing eyes flash by in your imagination. They are dark, almost predatory. You close your eyes and let a hand caress the side of you, lightly travelling up your body to squeeze a breast, playing with the nipple between your fingers. His gloved hand, firm against your soft skin, as he breathes into your ear. 

The vibrations from the water teases you further and you now claw at your neck, wishing for teeth to bite down right there, for a tongue to explore your collarbones. His mouth on your throat while pinning you securely to the wall, your legs locked around his waist as he moves in and out of you in a hard, steady pace. 

Not satisfied with the water only, you slowly let two fingers caress between your folds. They easily slide into your warmth and you curl them to reach that sweet spot. With closed eyes you can see him, hear him, feel him. He moans into your ear, urges you to climax with him. His entire body is telling you he is close, going harder, biting down on your shoulder.

When you finally reach the edge, you let out a loud groan and your legs grow weak as your orgasm flushes throughout your body. Shakily you drop down to the tiled floor, panting heavily. 


	7. Make Your Interpretation, Pour Me Full of Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is a bit all over the place. Cheesy moments and slight misunderstandings awaiting. (:

### M.E. 755, Late June, A Few Days Later

 

“Hey.” Nyx snaps his fingers in front in your face and startled you jump. He chuckles and pulls out a chair next to you, in the cafeteria. It is crowded at this hour, everyone having a quick lunch before heading back to work.  “How you doing, kid?”

You let a shrug roll off your shoulders while finishing the last bites of the meal. Usually you tried to bring lunch from home but had forgotten it on the counter this morning. But then again, having to eat in the lunch restaurant on the Citadel grounds was not that bad. “Good, good, and you?”

“Can’t complain.” Nyx eyes the sea of people around you, sending a small wave to someone. “Cutting to the chase, I need you to take a group of new recruits this Thursday. Crowe is being sent on a mission elsewhere but has prepped the usual tests. Think you can handle it?”

You smirk at the memory of Crowe’s hellish test courses. Not that things got easier from there, you soldiers had just gotten stronger with time and exercise. “Sure, sounds like fun.”

“Yo people!” Valerio sits down before you, putting down a tray full of food. “Don’t usually see you here, Red.”

“Some of us can’t afford buying food every day,” you scoff and steal a small tomato from his plate. Val looks from you to Nyx and brighten.

“You’re subbing for Crowe on Thursday too?”

“Just filled her in on that.” Nyx nods and suddenly gets his hair all ruffled up as Libertus shows up, followed by Luche and Pelna.

“Anyone know where Crowe was sent?” The larger man sits down by Nyx’ side, concerned look on his face. Libertus had a soft spot for the woman, thinking of her as a younger sister.

“Some black mage thing, she’ll be back at the end of the week” Nyx answers, grabbing a piece of bread from Libertus’.

“Hey, get your own food, this ain’t charity!” Libertus protests, snatching back the already half-eaten piece.

“She got to take food from Val,” Nyx objects and nods to you. “I thought you loved me too, Libertus.”

Val raises a fork and points it at you. “You’re a bad influence.”

Sweetly, you smile back. “Don’t I know it.”

A snort from Luche interrupts your bickering and you turn your attention to the glaive further down the table. He nods towards the doors, a group of Crownsguard entering. You recognise the tallest of them – Gladiolus Amicitia. The group seems to be in a good mood, and strides towards the line of hungry people.

“They have no idea how the real world is”, Luche hisses in a low voice. “Makes me pissed that all focus is on keeping Insomnia safe.”

Pelna hums in agreement and says: “Crownsguard is just full of noblemen anyway. Fucking inbred Insomnians who haven’t seen the way it is outside the wall. They’re all the same.” Libertus nods almost invisibly and Nyx is about to open his mouth when they are abruptly silenced by Valerio standing up, knocking over the chair in the process. It effectively quiets the people sitting closest around you.

Your gentle, sweet, hair-in-a-cute-bun friend is positively fuming, his amber eyes almost burning. His voice is a growl when he glares at the other glaives: “How the hell can you sit here and say that? Are we worth less to you?!” He points to you while still staring angrily at the others. “We both were born in Lucis, hell, I was born in Insomnia.”

The rest sits quietly, but you notice that Luche looks away with an irritated face.

“Sure, we weren’t forced to flee from our homes because of the Nifs, but don’t you dare imply we don’t care! I’d risk my life for any of you, in a heartbeat.”

Pelna shifts uncomfortably and looks up at Val. “Well, not _all_ Insomni-”

“Shut the fuck up.” Val shakes his head as he leaves, plates still full of food. You silently follow him out of the building, hearing how the muted mumbles from nearby tables continue. The grey summer sky greets you; it’s been raining but will likely clear up soon. The two of you walk quietly towards the Kingsglaive’s wing.

As you’re closing in, you finally mutter: “They were asshats.” Arms crossed over your chest, you peek at Valerio and notice that his face is still flustered, but he’s grinning slightly because of your comment. The blond pulls you into a one-armed embrace as you walk.

“I understand that they are frustrated, it’s just…” He sighs and his other hand brushes through his hair. “I’m just happy I got you. And Astra and Tobul too.”

“Where is she anyway?” You look around in the entry as you walk into the large building. Val shrugs and lets go of you, continuing to the lounge next door and you follow.

“I think she went out to lunch with Axis, they were joined at the hip at the club the other night.” He strolls over to a table and lean down to go through the piles of papers lying there. You frown at the revelation, Axis’ rude behaviour fresh in mind.

“She didn’t tell me.” You lean against the doorpost and Val flashes a toothy grin to you.

“You were busy going on a date with Lord Glasses, remember? You couldn’t even wake me up to tell me!”

“I tried!” You protest and blush, a bit out of annoyance. And partly because the mention of Ignis. “And it wasn’t date.”

“Oh?” He looks up at you, papers in hand.

“Or, I don’t know! We didn’t label it, we just hung out in the park, had a coffee and took a walk in the rose garden.” You have trouble keeping your hands still, making gestures in front of you, emphasising your words. And realise that what you just said surely sounds like a date. A pretty standard, romantic one at that. He just grins back and decides to drop the subject – his point obviously being made.

“You’re weird, I love that. By the way, I started chatting with a new boy the last week, we’re having out first date this Friday.” Val straightens and holds the papers in the air. “And I’ve found Crowe’s instructions, now we just have to decode her lousy writing.”

You roll your eyes and push yourself of the doorpost. “Why can’t she just use a computer or tablet like the rest of modern society?”

\--

In the middle of your planning, your phone starts ringing. Val glances up, giving you a curious look as you only keep staring at the mobile. “Gonna answer that?”

“Uh,” you reply astutely and pick it up, walking into the corridor outside the room you’ve barricaded yourself in. You take a deep breath and swipe to answer. “Hi.”

“Hello, it’s Ignis. I apologise for disturbing you.” How does he manage to sound both soft and business-like at the same time?

The knees feel weaker and you lean against the wall. “It’s ok, just doing some planning. What’s up?” He could say whatever, you could stand here and enjoy his voice for hours.

“Regrettably, something’s come up. I need to reschedule our dinner plans.”

Maybe not whatever, then. “Oh.”

“How is Thursday?” Ignis sounds hopeful on the other side of the line, sparking a small flash of thrill down your spine.

“We’re training the new recruits, and then night drills. And on Friday we’re shipping out with the newbies, we’ll be gone till early July.” Your head falls back against the wall. It is silent for a moment, long enough for you to start thinking the line dropped.

“I see.”

“I _want_ to have dinner with you”, you hurry to say, afraid he might interpret the situation as a way of avoiding him. “I really do.”

“It’s quite alright”, he says, and you can hear the faint hint of disappointment in his voice. “And would you rather not, then I’m fine with that as well. It was not a fair game, after all. I would not want to make you feel as if I’ve tricked you into an uncomfortable situation.”

You stand straighter, pressing the phone to your ear as something resembling fear builds in your chest. “Ignis, I…” How do you phrase it without sounding desperate, even though you truly want to just be close, and selfishly drink the sight of him with your eyes? This is a part of you, that you have not yet come to terms with. You don’t get far in your concerns before you’re interrupted.

“I’m afraid I need to leave now, I hope you’ll have a safe trip outside the wall. Good night.” Then it’s quiet.

You lower the phone and stare at it, as the previously budding feeling inside you flicker out. He hung up on you.

\--

Wednesday evening turns out to be a chilly one, in spite of it being in the middle of summer. The rain lashes against the windows of the flat, and you lit candles all over the place while trying to decide on dinner. The conversation with Ignis the day before had rendered you feeling a bit down, and matters weren’t made better by the fact that the fridge was close to empty.

With a sigh you grab a bag of corn and start popping them in a pan – salty, buttery popcorn will be enough for dinner tonight. With a little bit of imagination, they could even be considered vegetables. Sort of.

Back in your room, you sink down on your bed with the bowl in your arms. The entire situation makes you feel like being back to teenage years. The thought makes you pout even more, and you’re anxious to hide from the whole shebang – feelings, thoughts, young lords and lack of food. And the best place to hide right now would be another world. Said and done, you start browsing your bookshelf to dive into another universe, at least in your mind.

Just some thirty minutes later, you are pulled back into reality. “Hey, aren’t you going out tonight? Thought you had that dinner with your lord.” Astra peeks into your room, finding you propped up by some pillows, reading a new novel. She’s wearing a tight, red dress which is matching her hair.

“He had to cancel.” You put the book down in your lap and give her a onceover. “Date?”

“Yeah.” Her eyes are glittering as she’s fixing her tresses in your mirror. “Axis is taking me out tonight.”

“Axis?” You can’t help the frown; Axis stirs some uncomfortable feelings inside you. “Did I tell you about his creepy mode last time at the club?”

“Tobul told me before he left”, Astra turns around and sits down next to you on the bed. “He was drunk, he’s actually pretty sweet when you get to know him. Besides, who wouldn’t wanna sleep with you?!” She nudges you gently with an elbow, but you only raise an eyebrow as response.

“Just be careful, I don’t trust him.” You hate that she looks hurt by your words, as all you want is to keep her safe. It makes you sigh in resignation and force a smile. “But as long as you’re happy, so am I.”

She brightens up a little, before giving you a compassionate look. “Hey, I’m sorry about your lord. Did he give you any reason?”

“Work”, you shrug and fidget a bit with the bookmark sticking out from the book. You have no intention to ruin her party mood, not tonight. “And then I told him we’ll be gone for a few weeks, doing glaive business.”

“That sucks”, she hums and gets up on her feet. “I bought ice cream yesterday, feel free to roam the freezer.”

She gives you a quick hug before leaving, and you sit quietly on your bed, listening to Astra shuffling around in the hallway before leaving, locking the door behind her. You let out a silent sigh and pick up the book again, only to drop it to your knees again after a couple of sentences. You take up the phone from the windowsill and read the last texts Val sent you, after you finished planning last night:

**_Valerio_ **

_Happiness is the consequence of personal effort._

**_Valerio_ **

_Storms make trees take deeper roots!_

**_Valerio_ **

_Love is a risk – do it anyway!_

**_You_ **

_Stop sending me cheap proverbs you found on the Internet, dork!_

You throw the mobile onto your bedtable and fall back against the pillows. It’s all so stupid. Staring out into the dark, windy night, you chew gently on your lip while thinking. Deciding that you’ve got nothing to lose, you lean back over to your bedtable and pick up the phone.

You write and rewrite the message for at least ten minutes, unsure how to put your thoughts into words. At first you want him to know that you really are not avoiding him but decide that it sounds a bit too demeaning. Then that you really want to see him, but that makes you sound almost too eager. Finally, you let a simple sentence gain wings and fly off into the web of mobile signals.

**_You_ **

_Hi. I hope you’re having a nice evening._

Hiding your face in a pillow, you let out a muffled groan. It had seemed like you had been lightly flirting with each other the other day, but what if you were just imagining things? And if that was flirting, you don’t even know how to proceed from here. You sink your head deeper into the sort cushion – you are really overthinking things, and if you continue like this you’ll likely burn a fuse in no time.

Aware that Ignis is occupied this evening, and because of the abrupt end of the conversation previous night, it surprises you when the phone chimes just a minute later. Half expecting it to be more encouraging messages from Valerio, you bite your lip when you see the name in the notice.

**_Ignis_ **

_Good evening. It has been an eventful night so far, but you caught me at the right time, I have a slight respite at the moment. I do hope you’ve had a pleasant day in spite of the weather._

It relaxes you a bit, re-reading the part that you caught him at the right time. Not that you are particularly fluent in eloquent speech, but it does sound like you’re not a bother. That’s nice.

**_You_ **

_I’m good, I’m alone at home tonight so I decided to spoil myself by reading a new fantasy novel and indulge in a luxurious meal of popcorn. I hope you’re not working too hard!_

**_Ignis_ **

_Well, since I’m not ever truly off duty, I’m moderately used to these happenstances. Nonetheless, I do appreciate your concern._

_I understand I should have been firmer in my efforts to circumvent tonight’s obligations. Popcorn are hardly dinner._

You chuckle warmly and before you can reply, another message pops up.

**_Ignis_ **

_I was afraid I might have been too forward the other day._

_That I had scared you off. I am truly regretful._

Reading his texts, you feel better. The warm feeling that has been living inside you for the past weeks slowly and carefully ignites once more, though somewhat frailer than earlier. This feeling is new territory for you, and you need to tread cautiously – at least for your own sake.

**_You_ **

_I’m not that easily spooked, just unfamiliar with this. You don’t happen to have time for lunch tomorrow? This lunch will be the last piece of free time I will have for the coming weeks._

**_Ignis_ **

_I do happen to be available. Shall we meet in the courtyard?_

**_You_ **

_It’s a date!_

**_Ignis_ **

_I do appreciate the sound of that. I shall keenly await tomorrow then. Good night._

Your heart skips a few beats, before quickly picking up time. Rather than letting go of the phone, you change to the conversation with Valerio and quickly type a message.

**_You_ **

_I’ll hate you for this, but your proverbs made me talk to him and we’re meeting tomorrow._

You count the time, and when the phone finally pulsates at 42 seconds, you’re surprised it took him so long to answer.

**_Valerio_ **

_YAAAAAS. I knew it! Oh gosh, Red, I’m so proud of you, you’re gonna do so good! You’ll see, it’ll be fiiiine! Need help fixing your hair tomorrow?_

Following next is a series of inspirational messages and even cheesier proverbs, making you snicker and roll your eyes where you sit. Still, this was a part of him you loved. Astra was the wild animal of the group – acting first, thinking second. Tobul was the earnest, silent, analysing big brother of the gang. And Val was… well, he was Val. So jam-packed of overpowering love and optimism. He was the innocent little brother of you all.

**_You_ **

_Val, it’s lunch, not a spiritual ceremony where I might be sacrificed to the gods if things go south._

**_Valerio_ **

_Le gasp! But! It might be the first steps towards the ceremony. Of. Eternal. BONDING._

**_You_ **

_I think you need to reschedule that date of yours, you need some love right now, bro._

**_Valerio_ **

_Love shall persevere!_

\--

Thursday morning arrives, and with it the drills Valerio and you have prepared for the newbies. It is all fun and games, at least for the two of you, until you’re halfway through the warping session. A young recruit obviously doesn’t have the stomach for the skill but persists in trying. Amendable, if he hadn’t thrown up in cascades across the floor. Gross, but not unusual. The situation is however made worse by another newbie, who times her warping badly and slips on the fluids.

Valerio and you wince and suck in your breaths at the same as she falls and by the sound of her head hitting the floor, she is likely to have acquired a concussion.

“Get a medic here!” Val yells to some other recruits as he runs over to the two floor bound ones.

“Let’s end warping class for today”, you say to the rest. “We need to call for the cleaners and take care of these two. See you after lunch, packing the aircrafts for departure is next on the schedule. Dismissed.” You help the nauseous recruit up, he is a strange shade of red and green from the embarrassment and the queasiness. “Get a shower and then rest a while, soldier. And then you might want to see when the mages have their next scheduled training.”

He nods almost invisibly and limps away, while two healers arrive to take care of the woman on the floor. She’s thankfully still conscious but will obviously not be participating more this day. You sigh as Valerio stands beside you.

“We suck at teaching, don’t we?”

He chuckles and puts his hands behind his neck. “Nah, didn’t Pelna or someone puke like mad in the beginning too? Thought Crowe would throw up just looking at him, probably why Nyx had to take over practice.” The blond glances at the clock. “Hey, there’s just an hour left until lunch, why don’t you take an early break and surprise Lord Glasses? I’ll cover for you.”

“Really?” You receive a happy grin in response, compelling you to pick out your phone.

 

\--

It feels silly being nervous, as you wait for the elevator to travel up the floors. You’re in the Citadel all the time, you know your way around pretty well. Except you haven’t been to the specific parts containing the living quarters of the more important people of Insomnia, such as the royal adviser. Crownsguard are the only ones allowed for duty on the floors belonging to the royal family and their closest attendants.

Before you had entered the elevators, a couple of guards had eyed you meticulously and you had been asked to state your business. Kingsglaives were apparently not a common sight at these parts of the Citadel. Slightly taken aback you had spitted out something close to: “LieutenantTalonKingsglaiveI’m’eretoseeMrScientia” and then almost thrown your credentials in their faces. They had given you a questioning look before nodding, letting you pass and walk down the hallway towards the lifts. As the elevator doors closed behind you, you could swear you heard one of the Crownsguard mumble in a smug voice: “So the nobles are inviting the glaives now. We’re not good enough anymore?” You were starting to think the glaives’ mistrust wasn’t unilateral.

The ride to the 27th floor is long, and you lean back against the wall, humming silently on a song while trying to ease your anxiety. Last time you sang out loud, Astra had come bursting through the door, thinking you were fighting Imperials in your bedroom. You would never again make the same mistake of shouting out the lyrics.

 “ _I will tell your story if you try_.” You lightly kick the tempo to the beats of the song. “ _But how long will your thoughts of valleys stay green.._.”

There’s a ding from the elevator and a cool, feminine voice declaring that you’ve reached floor 27. You push yourself from the wall and step out into the empty, dark corridor. The walls are made of wood panels painted black and accented in gold, much like every other corridor in thing stronghold. You pick out your phone and follow the directions Ignis sent you earlier, without them you would have undoubtedly gotten lost. Who knows, it could be you would have surprised King Regis with a visit?

A gentle whiff of something spicy brushes past you, and as you take a left it grows stronger. You stop by a door – it has number 15 on it, in gold-plated metal. Carefully, you knock, hoping it’s loud enough to hear. The sound of steps coming closer from the other side of the door reveal it was. The cooking fumes escapes through the door once Ignis opens it, making you slightly gasp at the myriad of scents – it’s as if you can taste them. This seems to humour the inhabitant of the apartment.

“Hello, lieutenant”, he smiles and moves to let you in, but you take a short second to give him a onceover. He’s wearing a purple, coeurl-patterned shirt, neatly tucked inside black slacks and the sleeves rolled up, and a black apron is tied around his hip.

“I thought we were going out for lunch, and didn’t we agree on dropping the formalities?” You return his smile and enter, pulling off your uniform jacket, hanging it on the rack and taking off your shoes. The entryway is sparsely furnished with a single sideboard, where his gloves are resting, and a small shoe rack.

“We did,” he closes the door behind you and walks towards the kitchen in the open plan room. “However, the Crownsguards downstairs called a while ago, asking if I was expecting a ‘Lieutenant Allan’.”

You snort while trying to stifle a laughter. “Lieutenant Allan reporting for duty, Sir.” You take in the room while Ignis moves to the stove, continuing to stir in the pan. The rest of the home seems as minimalistic as the hallway – a single painting sits on the wall above the dark sofa, a large plant stands next to the armchair and a TV is hanging above a fireplace. You are almost surprised that he has a rug beneath the coffee table. By the corner of the room are two large windows and the small dinner table sits next to them, giving dinner guests a perfect view of the Crown City. The heavy rain from yesterday has stopped for now, but the sky is still grey, and the clouds hang low. You feel as if you can touch them, being this far up.

There are exceptions to the bareness in the room: on one wall is a large, built-in bookcase, filled with literature, and as Ignis opens cabinets and drawers, you see that the kitchen seems filled to the brim with pots, pans, spices and whatnot. You walk over to the kitchen island and lean over the table top, watching him stir a beautiful blend of what looks like garula beef and different colourful vegetables.

“I wasn’t expecting you to cook”, you say as you peek down at the stove. “You’re full of surprises.”

Your words gain you a smile from the man as he proceeds to pull a smaller pan off the stove, putting it to the side. “As your lunch was unexpectantly, though pleasantly, prolonged, I calculated I could whip something up. Besides, it can’t be that much of a surprise, can it? You saw the recipes I’ve jotted down.”

“Oh, true. But what do I know, maybe you just write down jam recipes all the time?” You grin and walk around the island to stand a next to him, heart thumping a bit harder at the proximity. “Need a hand with setting the table?”

“That would be very sweet of you, if you don’t mind. It’s enough if you set the cutlery and glasses for now. Would you like still or carbonated water? With or without lemon?”

“Fizzy with lemon would be nice”, you nod smilingly and stroll over to the cabinet he’s pointing at, taking out some glasses. Inwardly, you purr a little – you’ll gladly be sweet anytime. While working on the table, you turn to Ignis. “How come you live in the Citadel? The Prince moved out long ago, right?”

“The Scientia family does have a larger estate in another district, but it is mainly used by my uncle.” Ignis manages with the last of the cooking before delicately plating the potpourri of colours, joined by small, fried potatoes, thin slivers of bacon, red wine sauce and a crisp salad. “I find it simpler to live here, as the proxy of Noct. Please, make yourself comfortable.” He elegantly balances the two plates in a hand and grabs a glass bottle of bubbly water from the fridge.

You watch the food in awe as he puts the plate before you. “Are you sure you’re not the Prince’s chef?”

“Well, in a way I am”, he sighs smilingly as he sits down next to you. “But that’s hardly any topic worthy of conversation.” He pours the transparent liquid into your glass as you reach it towards him.

“Wow”, you exhale while inspecting the food. “It looks amazing, especially for lunch.”

You notice the smile in the corner of his mouth, interpreting he’s pleased with your reaction. It makes you slightly nervous to think he might be looking for your approval. What if he actually sees this as a date, and thinks you are something you’re not – there has to be women, and men, more interesting and articulate than you. Especially for a young aristocrat. Or is he looking for someone who’s easy to control? You freeze at the thought, the memories of past experiences making you nauseous. Maybe that’s why he would ever see a commoner like you…

“Care to share your thoughts?” You jerk ever so slightly, startled when Ignis speaks up after a while of silence, noticing the cogs turning in your head.

“I just...” You hate that your mind starts spinning out of control at times like these, that all alarms start blaring inside you. It had been fine at the café, knowing there were people around, but this was different – sitting here, close to each other, in _his_ home. You put your fork down, not having touched the food yet. “I’m sorry. But… can I be honest?

You meet his eyes and he understands, putting down his own silverware. He suddenly looks tentative. He rests his elbows on the table, knitting his fingers together in front of his face and scrutinise you for a moment. “I favour sincerity above fabrications.”

 “What is this?”

He is silent for a few seconds, observing you. “I actually wanted to voice similar questions and had hoped to do so at dinner.” Ignis seems miles away from the confidence he has exhibited so far, making you all the more confused about the situation. Yet, he keeps his eyes on you. “If I am not utterly hopeless at this, I daresay there’s an attraction between us. A bolder, wiser me would perhaps have reached out that time in the sparring hall.”

There’s a smile in the corner of his mouth and you melt just slightly before he continues. “I have to admit I was rather taken with you even then but branded it as mere physical attraction. And to mingle with the subordinates of the royal family might not be favourable in my position. To be the source of gossip among the soldiers and attendants would likely reflect badly upon Noctis.”

He doesn’t say it, but you know that by subordinates, he is referring to specifically those furtherer down the social ladder – low-ranking military, assistants of the nobility staff, maintenance crew and all of similar kind. The stepping stones, as some of your fellow glaives call it. He takes a drink from his glass, all while you stay quiet, waiting for him to finish.

“But then, as time has passed I believe it is safe to say that my feelings have… _stewed_.” You smile briefly at his small joke, valuing the effort to ease the tension. “When I saw you at the ball last month, I decided that I should try to speak to you. Alas, my uneasiness had me walk away without articulating any of my interest. It was a pleasant surprise to find you driving my car, and in retrospect I am thankful of Noct and the ambassador’s collusion. Though not their intention, the situation gave me a second chance.”

He leans back in the chair, absentmindedly flexing the fingers of a hand. There’s a noticeable blush on his face. “To summarise, I am not quite sure what _this_ is, nevertheless…” The jaw tightens ever so slightly before relaxing. “I would very much like to explore it with you, would you be willing.”

You sit quiet. It’s even silent in your otherwise busy head.

“Am I... entirely in the wrong to suspect you feel similarly?” Ignis watches you cautiously and you bite your lower lip.

“No, you’re not wrong.” When you carefully smile, his face softens. The silence in the room is so thick and heavy you could cut it with a knife, and you feel dizzy at the realisation that he, actually, has probable romantic intentions. “So... should we consider this a proper date?”

He smiles gently and picks up a fork. “Well, I’d like to think the coffee and walk in the rosary was our first one.” The bubble of feelings in your gut is close to bursting at his words, and you feel your face redden. To busy yourself you quickly put a bite of the food in your mouth, only to be left swooning.

“Oh Gods...” You savour the bite as long as you can. “It’s so good. These spices... Why are you so good at everything?”

Ignis chuckles and sips on his water, bashfully looking down at his plate for a moment. “I wouldn’t consider myself good at _everything_. Gathering courage to speak with beautiful women, unless work-related, is not one of my strong suits. But thank you, I appreciate your compliments dearly.”

The two of you continue the topic of food, tiptoeing around the subject of your newly expressed interest for each other. It felt like a subject best dealt with without mouths full of delicious food, if not for the sake of comprehension. As you watch him do the dishes, after your offer of help has been politely declined, you melt a bit at the realisation that he implied you being beautiful. It’s not like you put much energy into wanting to be seen as attractive by anyone, other people’s opinions were really their business, not yours, but still warms you that he thought so.

Ignis washes his hands and throws you a look over his shoulder. When he notices that you are watching him, he smiles softly. You watch him dry his hands on a towel before walking over to the fridge, opening it and taking out two small plates and then getting two cups of coffee he’s prepared from the counter. As he joins you in the sofa, he puts them along with spoons on the table.

“I noticed your appreciation for the mud cake, at the café the other day. I thought this might be to your taste as well. Noct’s friend Prompto worked part-time at a café the other year, and they served these mini chocolate cakes. I reckoned I’d try to recreate them and decided to experiment by adding some caramelised bananas. Do mind, this is only the test batch as I assumed our dinner would have to wait for some time.”

You look at the desserts with wide eyes, they are beautiful to just look at and when your spoon sinks into the moist cake you feel your mouth watering. The flavours of dark chocolate and sweet, caramelised banana mingle on your tongue. After swallowing it, you turn to Ignis, who’s been watching you expectantly. “You know”, you begin, pointing the spoon at him. “If we continue to see each other, you can’t make this kind of masterpiece every time. I won’t have any need for my monthly card, I’ll just be rolling to work on my own.”

The remark makes him laugh lightly. “I’ll try my best not to spoil you too much, then”, he replies before eating his own cake. “Perhaps we should take this time to get to know each other better, if you don’t mind.”

“Sounds like a plan, there’s still a little time before I need to head back”, you nod, taking another spoonful of edible bliss. “Do your parents work in the Citadel too?”

His smile wanes just a tad, but the soft look remains. “They used to, but they were fatally wounded in a car accident many years ago. I was only six at the time. Since then, I’ve been close to the royal family, and my uncle has been my main caretaker.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You feel a bit ashamed, but he just shakes his head.

“No need to, it was a long time ago, and things are as they are. I am truly grateful of my life in the Citadel. Now, you mentioned your mother and younger brother; do you have any other siblings?”

“Yeah, an older brother – Osgar. He didn’t like it in Lestallum after we moved there, so he finally left to become a hunter up north, in Meldacio. So, now there’s just tiny Luca keeping mum company and working in the market stall.” You wait for the inevitable question, the one about your father, but it never comes. Instead, Ignis just nods and looks at you with curiosity.

“You must have seen quite a lot of Lucis on your way here then.”

Slightly stumped by the continuation of the conversation, it takes you a second to gather your thoughts again. “Yeah, it’s beautiful, though pretty barren on the roads between Lestallum and here, at least if you go by Hammerhead. The forests down by the Fallgrove are much nicer.”

“I imagine so”, he takes another bite, while pondering. “I’ve never been outside Insomnia, I’ve only seen maps and pictures of the rest of Lucis. And heard tales of the road trip His Majesty undertook in his youth. Is it true that there are still ruins from the time of Solheim’s reign?”

“Wow, never?” It actually surprises you; Ignis seems so urbane, especially from looking at the diversity of books from every corner of Eos. “Yeah, there’s some castle ruins pretty close to where I grew up. Legends say the doors only open by moonlight. Osgar and I once snuck out to explore it at night but got caught pretty soon. Just as good, it’s full of daemons when it’s dark, but when you’re only five and eight, you’re not that clever.” The two of you chuckle lightly at your story, but a glance at the clock on his wall makes you fly off the sofa. “Sorry, I lost track of time!”

You are about to clean off the coffee table when Ignis’ hand gently stop you. “Please, let me take care of it. You are my guest.” You offer him a smile as thanks and head to the door, he follows shortly behind and watches you put on your uniform jacket.

When you turn to say goodbye, your words get stuck by the look the man is giving you – it is slightly darker than before, but not in an unpleasant way. He takes a slow step forward and raises a hand, letting it gently brush away a strand of hair from your eyes. You inhale and hold your breath, and as he lowers his hand again you catch it with yours. It is warm and the feel of it radiates safety. His long fingers intermingle with yours, hugging your hand lightly.

In a low voice, he murmurs: “I will await your return later this month.”

You give him a lopsided smile and drown in his eyes. “You make me not wanna go.” Then you slowly let go of his hand and unlock the door, stepping out into the corridor. “I’ll have to treat you next time.”

Ignis leans on the doorpost, giving you a soft look. “I look forward to it, Lieutenant Allan. Do be safe on your trip.”

Not being able to stop yourself, you swiftly take a step forward, stand on your toes and place a chaste kiss on his cheek before walking down the hallway. You turn around once, meeting his glowing gaze and content grin, before rounding a corner.

\--

“Eos is calling the good-looking glaive standing in the loading bay.” Valerio’s voice is distorted when he speaks through the rolled-up papers, and it is enough to distract you from the list in your hands – the list of supplies to be packed that you’ve been staring at for the past twenty minutes. Around you, the new recruits and other glaives are loading the trucks which are scheduled to depart for the military air shuttles first thing next morning.

“Sorry, I, uh.” You trail off once you see Val’s ridiculous smirk. He looks like a puppy waiting for a treat.

“You’ve been like this ever since you came back. You didn’t even react when I said all Tenebraen cheese production has stopped”, he snickers and unrolls the papers.

“Been like what?” Astra’s voice interrupts you – she’s just begun her shift and comes carrying a large crate. Behind her is Axis.

The blond fires off a happy smile in her direction. He puts on a mock, bombastic voice, imitating what he apparently thinks a noble person sounds like: “Ah, the young laird hars did express his int’rest in our esteem’d companion.” It makes you hide your face behind the clipboard in your hand, but Astra just laughs with a hint of friendly tease. When you look up to continue working, you notice that Axis looks far from amused. Uncomfortable, you mumble something about checking on the newbies and as you walk past the trio, Axis throws you a hard look. 

The phone in your pocket vibrates softly and as if on que, there is a text from Ignis, instantly washing away all agitated feelings the quiet meeting with Axis has caused you. The royal adviser seemed to have a knack for knowing when you were in need of a saving presence.

**_Ignis_ **

_Pardon my brazenness, I merely wish you thank you for your company earlier this day. The mildly intimate proximity of your farewell is etched on my mind, and I will count the days until your return._

You smile and decide to answer later, work is the main priority right now, and you can't wait to get this mission over with. To get back home, to get to know the intellectual, elegant man better and in even more intimate ways. To find out what other smooth moves he possessed.

You don’t get very far in your train of thoughts before the loading bay is resonating with the voice of Captain Drautos. His unexpected appearance make you all stop in your tracks to listen attentively. His face is stern when he addresses all present Kingsglaive:

“The mission has been extended from two weeks to at least a month. For the personnel it concerns, make sure to sort out any business you might have with rents, bills and possible medication before shipping out tomorrow. You will all be briefed at the site. Back to work.”

The high-ranked officer turns on his heel and leaves the now quiet hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time it's taken, work and endometriosis have been less than kind lately. This story is far from over though!


	8. More Haste, Less Speed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty fluffy chapter overall, with sexy and angsty bits.

### M.E. 755 – August

 

**_You_ **

_Speaking of nothing – I have no favourite colour. I think. Though, red and green's pretty nice. So, how is your day going so far? Hope I’m not waking you or something. What even is the time-difference?_

**_Ignis_ **

_Red and green are undeniably solid colours, and opposites of each other at that. My day has been demanding but receiving a message from you assuredly makes me feel reinvigorated._

_Concerning the time-difference, I believe you are three hours ahead of me._

_You_

_I’m lying in my tent right now. In my sleeping bag. Thinking about you._

_Only wearing woollen long underwear, a warm sweater and thick socks._

**_Ignis_ **

_You are quite the tease._

_Please stay safe._

\--

The time at the base close to the Galahdian border flashes by with speed as the days are crammed with all the tasks and duties placed on you. When you arrived in late June, there had been reports of Nifs closing in, thus the added time on the field. So far though, you’ve mostly only encountered smaller daemons and one group of low-ranking MTs.

Nyx, Libertus, Crowe and other higher-ranking glaives had received you and split you into different teams. Besides patrolling, intel gathering and straight up fighting, you had been in charge of your very own group of newbies – this was their first mission outside the city and you felt a bit like a mama hen looking after them. So much that a couple of them called you “Mama Red” when they assumed you couldn’t hear.

\--

**_You_ **

_The connection here is a bit dodgy. Was going to send a pic, but it’ll have to wait till I get home, or closer to the more populated places of Lucis._

**_Ignis_ **

_Paint it with words._

**_You_ **

_Last night we made camp above a waterfall. Imagine this: meteor shards glowing softly in the ground, lighting the etched protection runes swirling around the rocky ground. The night is clear and chilly (I should really have brought extra gloves and socks, so thank the Astrals for fire magic), and the moon is full. It lights up the valley below, making the river from the waterfall look like a scar made of liquid silver._

**_Ignis_ **

_I wish I could have been there to see it with you._

\--

You stretch as you walk out of the empty tent you share with Astra – this night you suspect she has shared beds this Axis – and pull a red scarf closer around you. It is already the first days of August, but as the border lies a good distance north of Insomnia, the mornings feel crisp and some leaves have already started to change colours. Only three more days to go, and then you will be back in the Crown City.

Around you, you can hear the shuffling sounds of bodies moving in their sleeping bags; it is almost time for breakfast and then Nyx will brief your group about today’s tasks.

Still enjoying a moment to yourself, you pick up your phone to eye through the conversation from last night. Throughout the month, Ignis and you have been writing to each other a lot. The texts didn’t always come through though, but whenever the connection was good enough, you’d send him something. Sometimes it was just nonsense.

**_You_ **

_Did you know that there are fluffy garulas?! We saw some today! The babies were so cute. I wonder if anyone will notice if I try to smuggle one with me. Might need bigger pockets though. Or hire an aircraft. Astra would likely get suspicious though, if she suddenly finds a baby garula in her bed._

**_Ignis_ **

_I did not, would you assume their meat is as tender as the hairless kind?_

**_You_ **

_Don’t turn my fluffy garula into a meal, how delicious it ever may be! Did you find your friends yesterday?_

**_Ignis_ **

_I did, though I am considering downgrading them from ‘friends’ to distant ‘acquaintances’. Once I found them and my lost spectacles, they had glued false eyelashes to them._

**_Ignis_ **

_The lashes had glitter on them._

**_You_ **

_Can I have their phone numbers?_

**_Ignis_ **

_Whatever for?_

**_You_ **

_Because:_

  1. _At least one of them MUST have taken a picture, and I need to see it_
  2. _They WILL likely do some stunt like this again in future, and I need to see it._



_Or are my chances of ever getting to meet them forever ruined now?_

**_Ignis_ **

_If I’m frank, I may now have doubts of ever introducing you to each other. I can only envision that your pleasure in these pranks will spur them on. One would believe a royal retinue wouldn’t deign this low, alas they do._

Snorting at the conversation, you stroll down to the small creek just below the provisional basecamp. The sun is still low, gradually rising in the far-off horizon. The way it hits the mountains in the distance, along with the narrow stream before you, paints the world around you in a gentle, golden shimmer. You sigh contentedly and raise your phone to take a picture. The reception has been dodgy, and the texts you’ve sent and received have seemingly been forced into the network. Once you reach better mobile masts, you will send the picture to Ignis. He needs to see more beyond the walls.

\--

**_You_ **

_Since you’ve never been beyond the wall, I really think I should take you someday. I think you would like the markets in Lestallum._

**_Ignis_ **

_I’d happily join you anywhere._

**_You_ **

_Stop making me blush, I’m trying to have a conversation here._

**_Ignis_ **

_I merely state the obvious. I would not pass up the chance to cherish your company. Walking along market stalls, picking up ingredients, watching the Disc at night._

**_You_ **

_Stop or the first thing I’ll do when I see you is kiss you, no matter who is looking._

**_Ignis_ **

_As a strategist, I strongly argue threats should have some weight behind them, as to be hostile._

**_You_ **

_I’d even do it in front of King Regis._

\--

Footsteps behind you have you turn around, expecting either Astra or Valerio. Your stomach knots itself together as Axis’ impassive mug comes into view. Feeling the moment is ruined, you decide to go back to the campsite, but as you pass by him you abruptly feel a strong grasp around your upper arm and you’re pushed into the shrubbery just off the small path. Scenes flicker before your eyes – hard shoves, bruising grips, your mother screaming, the dark eyes of your father. You freeze and just stare at the brunette keeping you with a firm hand.

“If you know what’s good for you, you will kill whatever is going on between you and that noble twat before it’s even begun.” His brown eyes are cold when they meet yours, and his grip tenses as he forces you closer to him and another hand hurriedly snakes around your other arm. “People in the Kingsglaive will start talking if they know you’re the nobility’s latest toy, no one would ever want to touch you again once he’s discarded you.”

His breath is hitting your neck as he leans in closer. You want to run and try to mentally jumpstart your body but are incapable to put together coherent thoughts and you remain paralysed. His lips are not touching you, but the breath is brushing you up along the neck, to your ear. “Be a good girl now. Wouldn’t want to hurt Astra, right?”

\--

**_Ignis_ **

_Tell me about your friends._

**_You_ **

_Well, I met them all in Insomnia, and they are all in the Kingsglaive. Didn’t really have any close friends back in Lestallum. I live with one of them, Astra. She, Val, Tobul and I were teamed together the first day, and since then I just can’t seem to shake them off._

**_Ignis_ **

_It is comforting to have such friends, to be able to support each other._

**_You_ **

_Yeah, I don’t know what I would do without them._

\--

The mention of your valued friend is enough to spark something inside you. Your brows furrow together – what was that even supposed to mean? Aggressively pulling away your arm from him, you spin around and almost growl: “Don’t touch me again or tell me what to do. And if you ever treat Astra the same way, I will hurt you in every possible way.”

It takes all your resolution to simply walk away; you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of watching you flee head over heels. The uncomfortable knot in your stomach persists even as you get further away from the man – you had sent him a hard look, with even colder words, but that was just to conceal the panic inside you. You feel dirty, disgusting, and claw at your neck where his breath warmed the skin. There was no way Drautos would get rid of him even if you tried, you were at war and needed every single soldier. For the time being, you had to suck it up, or ask for a transfer. Running. Again. You try your best to shake off the feelings as you get back to camp. Only three more days.

At basecamp, two newbies greet you civilly and offer you something that is supposed to resemble coffee – you had early given up on it ever tasting right and just accepted the brown liquid for what it was: some muddy, semi-caffeinated beverage.

“G’morning”, Valerio yawns as he comes to stand close to you. Small puffs of air a visible as he breathes, then he shudders in spite of the rising sun. He doesn’t even question it when you put an arm around his waist, pulling yourself closer to him and the comfort of his presence. Having him close rinses off the disgusting feeling of Axis. “As soon as everyone’s done with breakfast, we’re packing our stuff. We will be walking to campsite C today.”

“That’s where we’ll meet up with Crowe’s group, right?” You take one more small sip of the drink, but then grimace gravely and give up.

Valerio nods and offers to finish your almost-but-definitely-not-coffee, which you do not object to.

\--

**_You_ **

_Only a few more days now, I miss Insomnia! And mud cakes._

**_Ignis_ **

_Is that a request I discern?_

**_You_ **

_Nice detection, Lord tactician! Btw, do you have any favourite movie? I crave movie nights._

**_Ignis_ **

_I do have a weakness for the more classical films, but I am always open to try different genres._

_It will be lovely to see you again. Though I thoroughly enjoy our text conversations, I look forward to speaking to you in person again. I shall try to keep my composure once we meet again._

**_You_ **

_How can you be so incredibly cool and sweet at the same time? Sometimes I don’t even really get what you’re saying, because you’re so eloquent, but you still have me swooning._

\--

The trek to campsite C is a long one, about six hours. But then again, tomorrow you will have to walk for roughly eight hours to get to campsite B, with some treacherous climbing on top of that. Your only comfort is that once you get closer to the first campsite, late in the afternoon, you can see Crowe’s group already at the haven. You are greeted by the older woman, before long followed by a tight hug from Tobul who has been assigned to Crowe’s crew for the duration of the mission.

“Great timing”, Crowe scoffs softly and jerk a thumb over her shoulder. “Dinner will be done in a minute. We found some varmints on our way here and voila – fresh meat!” Valerio, standing behind you, brighten at the sound of that and together with Tobul they hurry away towards the campfire in the centre of the haven.

“Okay, that’s all.” Nyx comes up to Crowe and you and nods to the campsite where the two groups now mingle and set up tents. “Tomorrow we’ll rendezvous with two other groups, Libertus’ being one of them. Last radio contact confirmed the pick-up for the next day.”

Crowe nods. “Headquarter also said groups Alpha and Epsilon had to be extracted yesterday. They were positioned closer to the highlands, and it seems the MTs gave them a hell of a time. They were just lucky there were no casualties.”

“This time”, Nyx mutters and leaves to help the recruits. Crowe on the other hand flings an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, this is your future, Red. Soon you will be standing where I am, taking directives and throwing orders around. You will likely be promoted later this year, it’s about time.”

You wince a little. “Don’t remind me, I’m not jealous of you at all really.”

The brunette lets go and strides away: “Good, probably means you will stay on your toes.”

\--

Late in the evening, after having spent some hours around the fire together with your best bros Val and Toby, you decide it is for the best to head for the tent. Like a good Mama Red, you insist that the newbies should follow your lead, and tell them that if they are unable to keep up with the tempo tomorrow, you’ll find a dualhorn to chase them. You move is not very effective, until Tobul with a grave face tells them you’re not joking.

Pleased with the sight of seeing them run off to bed, you walk to your tent. It’s empty again. Looking around outside, you see another campfire a bit away. Frowning, you grab your toothbrush and head to the small stream close to the haven. Astra has barely talked to you these last couple of days, and it isn’t like her. By the stream, you wash your hands and brush your teeth. The air is cold now that the sun has gone past the horizon, so you hurry.

About to head back, you hear a noise to your left and freeze. A daemon? This close to the haven? You hear it again, this time it sounds like a sob. Cautiously you tip-toe towards some rocks, and from the silver light of the moon you can make out the features of Astra.

“Hey”, you say softly at the sight of her and your worry of daemons is exchanged for concern of your friend. You lean down to help her up but stop halfway down when you notice how she sways where she sits. She has clearly taken a potion of the stronger kind, possibly even a few.

“Astra”, you say, cautiously putting an arm around her, but it is immediately shoved off. Dilated eyes met yours – yeah, it had undeniably been more than one of the more potent potions. Yet again.

“He keeps nagging me about you.” She avoids your eyes. She isn’t crying, nor is she happy or angry. She is just blank. It takes you a few seconds to grasp she was speaking about Axis. “He and some of the others. I sat with them yesterday – Axis, Pelna and Luche. They kept making fun of you up until Nyx showed up and politely told them to fuck off.”

“Okay...” The fact that Nyx came to your rescue makes you even more grateful to him. You sit down next to the redhead, and after a few attempts you accomplish to make a small fire come alive in your palm. You need the warmth, and you suspect Astra do too. “You’re not really the person who cares about what others think. Do you agree with them?”

Astra’s motions are erratic, and she almost snarls as she quickly turn to face you. “’Course not! I don’t care if people talk shit about me, but when they do it about my friends...” She sighs and hides her face in her hands for a moment before looking up again. “I tried defending you but kept being silenced by them. And Axis refused to speak to me after that.”

“You need to break it off with him”, you say silently. “For your own sake.”

Her tawny eyes blaze furiously at you. “You sound like him, when he spoke about you and your lord.” She is wobbling somewhat, and you are finally allowed to support her. Gently, you pull her down and she rests her head in your lap. You both stay soundless and soon you hear Astra’s breathing getting heavier, until she falls asleep. Only three more days.

\--

**_Ignis_ **

_Time cannot pass fast enough. You have me yearning._

\--

The last leg of the mission seems simultaneously easy and daunting; you are glad it will soon be over, but you are so very tired by now. Especially after last night, where you finally got help from Crowe to get Astra back to your tent. The redhead now climbs close to you, noticeably not at peak performance. You hate when she misuses potions, and she knows you do, but today you will not fight with her. Not here, not now.

Despite some minor accidents a k a recruits _actually_ , very unplanned, getting chased by livid dualhorns, you all reach campsite C in one piece and meet up with the other teams. The last night out here in the outskirts of Galahd is celebrated in a calm fashion – Crowe does however offer you some hideaway whiskey she’s brought along for the mission, just for this occasion.

“Because we’re still alive”, she cheers and drinks. You, along with a few other glaives, hum in agreement and join her.

\--

**_Ignis_ **

_You didn’t happen to be in one of the military aircrafts I saw passing Insomnia some thirty minutes ago?_

**_You_ **

_Yeah, we’re finally in the trucks on our way back to the Citadel. We’ll be debriefed and then there’s a three day-break awaiting. I really wish I had a bathtub right now, I’m sore in places I didn’t think you could be._

**_Ignis_ **

_Oh? Regretfully, I cannot assist you with the request of a bathtub, but possibly aid you in other ways, should you wish. When do you believe you will be ready to head home? This day has been rather monotonous, I am positive I might be able to leave the office until the meetings late this afternoon._

You snicker at his reply and choose to test the waters just a bit.

**_You_ **

_I’m surprised by your dirty suggestions, but I’m open for ideas. I think sometime after lunch?_

\--

There he stands, arms crossed and leaning on his car. You are caught a bit off guard by his look – a white, striped button-up accompanied by suspenders. Stylish as always, you suspect it comes with the job – he likely meets royals on a daily basis. Something inside you stirs, and not in an unpleasant way.

“Hello, lieutenant.” His smile is earnest, his eyes even more so. It threatens to melt you right on the spot.

“Lord Sir Ignis”, you give him a lopsided smile, and he scoffs softly at the silliness.

“Would you like a ride back to your flat?”

“She would love to!” Astra comes bursting from nowhere, with a wide smile in her face and eyes glittering at the sight of Ignis. Any sign of withdrawal is as if blown away, and it amazes you as much as it frights you. “And also, can I ask for a ride too?” She puts out her hand to the perplexed adviser, who shakes it. “Astra, fellow glaive and roomie.”

“A pleasure”, he says, giving you a somewhat uncertain look, but smiles graciously nonetheless. As you load his car with your luggage, you breathe a “sorry” to him, but he merely shakes his head and waves away your admission of guilt in a gently manner. “Not at all, please.”

The drive to your shared apartment is not an overly long one, but the way Astra keeps ogling Ignis and questioning him about this and that makes it feel like it goes on forever. When Ignis helps you lift out your heavy bags, you turn to say goodbye, only to receive a hard elbow to your ribs. You give Astra a silent hiss, but she takes no notice of you.

“Has Red asked you in? You have to come in for a cup of coffee, as thanks for the ride. That should be, like, common curtesy, right?”

“Red?” He looks at her in mild confusion, observing her violently red hair.

“Yeah, this special one”, Astra hugs you close with one arm, and you feel like you’re back at pre-school. You’re just waiting for her to start to sing about how Ignis and you are sitting in a tree. “She is incredible, I love her. Everybody loves her! You will too.”

“Astra”, you mumble and free yourself before your blush starts to match her hair. “Ignis, it’s quite alright if you wish to le-”

“Not at all”, he cuts you off kindly. “I would appreciate a cup of coffee, and to sate my curiosity by having the chance to see your home.”

Once you are all up on the third floor and inside your apartment, Astra swiftly puts on the coffee maker and gestures for you all to do whatever until she’s done. You can’t recall last time she was this homey and actually made coffee. Your mind is about to blow when she puts some dry wafers on a plate and place them on your small dining table.

“Where’s Astra and why have a MT taken her place?” You say, smiling in disbelief at her actions, all while Ignis is taking a look in the living room.

“Pft”, Astra snorts and drops her voice. “What kind of wing woman would I be if I didn’t try to lay the ground for you. You seem set on going this path, it’s the least I can do, Red. Besides, I’m not gonna pass the chance of getting some juicy intel on the inner circle, to sate _my_ curiosity.”

You pour coffee into three mugs and take them to the table in the living room, seeing Ignis looking at your photographs on the wall. He doesn’t face you, but says:

“Your family, I presume? These are endearing.” He leans forward, scrutinising one of the pictures. “Your older brother and you are very much alike. Osgar was his name, right?”

You find it impressing that he actually remembers your brother’s name and you go to stand next to him. “You think so?”

Ignis hums and continues to look. “Your hair and eyes are very much similar. Your younger brother looks a lot like your mother.”

“Yeah, Luca has been a copy of mum for years.” You smile tenderly, seeing the photo of your little brother. In the picture he is seven and the blonde tresses are framing his face ever so gently and making his blue eyes almost sparkle. “Coffee’s done. Want milk in?”

“I prefer it black, thank you.” He follows you and sits down next to you, across from Astra who is watching him from behind her mug. You want to wipe away that satisfied grin on her face, but that will have to wait. At the same time, you are appreciative of her presence – what would most likely have been a rather stiff and forced moment, turns out to be quite nice and funny with her in the room. She has a natural way of speaking with anyone, and it makes you glad that Ignis too seems comfortable with her. Watching them speak warms something deeper inside you.

“No way!” She laughs out loud as Ignis describes the prank the prince and his friend Prompto had pulled on the prince’s shield earlier this year, on Gladiolus’ birthday. Having a glass too much, which was quite an achievement for such a large man, Gladiolus had eventually fallen asleep, snoring loudly. Enter, Noctis, Prompto and a bottle of tabasco. Half a bottle later, the shield had evacuated himself to the sink and then almost inhaled a box of milk.

“May I ask the symbolism of your tattoo?” Ignis asks politely once Astra is done laughing, nodding to her face.

Astra smiles widely. “Cool, not even Red has asked me that and we’ve been living together for, what is it, two, three years now?” She traces a finger along the fox head on her face and you just send her a subtle grimace. “My family has been hunters for many generations, and whenever we’re ready to enter the tribe as hunters, we get the tattoo that belongs to our family. Gemini-family’s a fox, obviously.”

“Cool, my father...” You stop mid-sentence. Astra watches you with concerned surprise, while Ignis simply looks interested. You grip on the cup tightens. Speaking of him will not coax him to appear, you assure yourself. “My father is, or at least was, a hunter. And his parents too, from what I’ve heard. Seems to be pretty common outside the wall, huh? Osgar is huntering away as we speak, I suppose.”

“I gather you don’t have much contact with your father.” Ignis looks at you. It’s a simple statement, with no emotion or opinion behind it, but it’s enough for Astra to hurriedly speak:

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.”

Ignis throws her a puzzled look, but nods to you. “Of course, pardon if I said something ill spoken.”

You shake your head very slightly, taking a sip of the now tepid liquid. Astra quietly stands up and walks into the kitchen, but not before giving you a meaning look – she'll be there in a split second if she’s needed. “I haven’t seen my father since I was fourteen. My mother grabbed baby Luca and told Osgar and me to get in the car – then we drove as fast as we could. We moved around a lot in the beginning, before ending up in Lestallum. The town is big enough to hide away in.”

“I see.” Ignis nods again and finishes his coffee, then he offers you a sympathetic look. “Should you ever wish to speak about it, I’ll listen.”

“Thank you”, you reply soundlessly. Then you get up on your feet, eager to change subject. “So, you wanted to see my home. I suppose it’s not even a proper house viewing if you don’t see where I actually spend most of my time.”

\--

Inside your room, Ignis walks about with an amused look on his face as he observers the posters and your bookshelves which are filled to the brink with books, movies and games. It is hard for yourself to imagine that the only thing you had to your name when you arrived in Insomnia, was your scruffy duffle bag. “Noct is turning twenty in a few weeks,” he says suddenly, turning from the shelves to face you.

“Yeah, I’m scheduled to guard the perimeter. Sounds like it’s gonna be a big party.”

“Quite so, numerous prominent guests will be partaking. In fact, I could use the help of finding a birthday present, if you wouldn’t mind.”

You give him a raised eyebrow as you watch him with doubt. “I have no idea that princes enjoy, I think I’m way less equipped with that knowledge.”

“Don’t be so sure, judging from your shelf of video games, I reckon you might share an interest with His Majesty.” He touches the back of a few adventure games. “He is quite mad about the Assassin-games at the moment, if I recall correctly.”

You tilt your head and lean on a sideboard. “Is this your way of asking for company while browsing for a present?”

“Guilty as charged”, he grins ever so gently, but with a hint of complacency. He’s nifty, in a playful and flirtatious way. He leisurely walks over to you and stops by to look at a stuffed Moogle, brushing its red nose with a thumb.

You watch his gloved hand, it moves from the plush figure to hang by his side and you let your eyes wander from it and up the lithe arms you know are hiding under the shirt. When you continue up you notice he’s looking at you, and once your eyes lock you feel your face get warmer. Clearing your throat, you say: “It feels like we’re hiding here, like teenagers.”

“What are we hiding from, I wonder?” Another step closer to you. The pungent scent of leather and coffee grows stronger and you must grab the sideboard to keep your knees from buckling.

“Snooping adults?” You try to smile and see the playful look in his green eyes. You hear his breathing. It is fast becoming unbearable, and would you let your body have a mind of its own, it would have already pushed Ignis to the floor and straddled him. Another thought is irritating you however, and unable to keep quiet, you stammer: “A-am I a distraction for you? Am I something you will throw away once you’re done?”

Ignis raises his brows in mild surprise and takes a small step back, straightening his back while observing you. You hope he’s not looking that way because you’ve figured out his plan, and you hurry to add: “I’m not good with this sort of thing.” You want to head desk something so bad but then again can’t keep your mouth shut. “But, I just want to know what to expect, to know the boundaries of this... situation.” Turning your glance away, to the window, you try to escape his presence for a short moment but are soon turned back to look at Ignis as he gently guides you with fingers on your chin. His gaze is slightly darker and has become difficult to read.

“Is that what you would prefer, a casual sexual partner?”

The way he puts emphasize on _sexual_ has you leaning closer to him and feel his nose brush against yours. You mumble while glancing at his lips: “I don’t want to fall head over heels over you just to be discarded once you’re done. And shouldn’t you be courting some noblewoman?” You see his lips purse to an almost invisible smile.

“It’s 755 of the modern era, dear.” His voice is low as he watches you through, green, beautiful, lidded eyes. It makes you shudder. “Additionally, these archaic stereotypes are not pressured as much on me as my peers, due to my position at the prince’s side. I might not have much freedom of my own but choosing my own company and who I befriend is definitely one of them.”

A moment of silence, then you raise up on your toes and close the distance, incapable of waiting any longer. His lips are soft on yours and a low moan escapes his throat as the kiss continues. The hairs on your body are standing up, and when you feel his hand at the small of your back you tremble in pleasure.

“I hope I’m not causing you discomfort”, Ignis mumbles after breaking the kiss.

“No”, you whisper back, looking at him as he fills your entire view. He gently grips your chin and before catching you lips with his he says:

“In addition, I have no desire to discard you.”

“Then what do you want?” You watch him.

“I propose we see where this lead.”

You sneak your arms around his neck and feel yourself being hugged close by strong arms. As the kiss deepens gloved hands caress your back, and you dare to let your fingers travel up to his hair and brush the soft strands by his neck.

When the door suddenly opens you abruptly let go of each other, and you see Ignis’ self-conscious and shy look as Astra peeks inside. You imagine you’re looking very flustered.

“Ooooh, sorry!” Astra’s wide eyes start to shimmer. “Just wanted to tell you that I’m heading over to Val, apparently his landlord had turned off the water during our mission and need someone to come and yell. I’ll try to be long.” She then winks and disappears as quickly as she emerged.

“Sorry”, you say, biting you lip to keep in a nervous laugh. Ignis lets a hand brush through his hair and gives you a shy smile. In the background, you hear the main door shut.

“Nothing to worry about.” He flicks away some invisible lint on his shirt, and the two of you hear the main door close and lock. Ignis clears his throat and gives you a smile, still with a noticeable blush in his face. “I should be going. As you are free for the next few days, may I be so bold as to invite you for dinner tomorrow?”

With a light chuckle, you reply: “Only if I get to treat you this time.”

It is with reluctance you bid your farewells, accompanied by a long kiss by the door. As you mildly tug at his collar, you are on the edge of dragging him with you to the couch. “This past month has made me certain that I do want to pursue this”, he mumbles with his hands in your hair. “Every message from you evoked this feeling of wanting to see you, hear you. Every teasing text had my mind dishevelled.”

“You need to be quiet or I’ll not let you go”, you mutter back, but kiss him once more anyway. In the end, you still break it up and with a sigh, you lock the door behind him. You tumble down to the floor and lean back as a quiet laughter escapes you. Sitting there for some minutes, perhaps even ten-fifteen, you let the scenes of his embrace, the scents and the feelings, replay in your mind. Your endorphins are on a record high when there’s suddenly a knock on the door.

Coming to your feet, you look out of the peephole. In surprise, you unlock the door and open. “Did you forget-”. Another kiss cuts you short and you stumble back, but without losing the contact of his mouth on yours. A month full of texts, some bordering on the line to sexual innuendos, has accumulated feelings inside the two of you that now are let loose. Your hands are all over his body, feeling the strong muscles under his shirt. “Your meeting”, you pant as his lips leave yours, travel down your neck.

“Postponed for an hour”, is the only thing he mutters into your neck before returning up, this time to nibble at your ear. “Turned the car around when I got the message.” You moan at his whisper and force yourself to break free for just a moment, long enough to close and lock the door again. You do not want the neighbours as audience for this. Ignis observes you with dark eyes as you step back to him, taking a hand of yours in his. The leather feels slightly rough to your skin when you lead him to the living room, dropping down in the couch with him sitting next to you. Nimble fingers find the buttons of his shirt and undo the first three of them, allowing you to see and feel more or his skin. Seemingly eager for you to continue the exploration, Ignis unbuttons the rest himself, but as he is about to shrug himself out of the suspenders, you grab hold of them and roughly pull him to you. His lips crashes to yours once more, but only for a second before he swiftly lifts you with no effort and leans back in the sofa to have you straddle him. You notice that his hair is slightly tousled, and his glasses are trying to escape so you gently take them off to place them safely on the coffee table. Green orbs roam over you as strong hands by your waist keep you steady when you lean to the table. You then hook your fingers under the hem of the shirt and deftly lift it off. As he sees your bra, he chuckles in a low tone and you see the mischief in his eyes.

“No woolly underclothing? I am disappointed.” As punishment for his comment, you bend forward and bite down by his collarbone, just enough to leave a slight mark. It takes him by surprise and you feel his grip rapidly tighten around your hips, earning him a whimper from you. He breathes in your ear: “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” You straighten to face him, but accidentally knocks you head into his. You whine a bit while massaging your temple. “Ouch, sorry!”

A breathy, affectionate chuckle escapes him, and his lips brush the aching spot on your head. A bare hand strokes the side of you, and you wonder for a moment when he had time to get his gloves off, but you train of thoughts is derailed when he locks eyes with you while his hand rests just under one breast. “May I?”

You nod. “Yes, please.” The hand continues its way up and softly grazes over the thin fabric. Another hand snakes up behind you and skilful fingers unclasp your bra with ease. He certainly has “dabbled in this sort of game” before. It leaves you both anxious and exhilarated. This elegant, tall and lithe man is power packed to his fingertips, and yet you feel like the one in control right now. As you shed the bra, his hand cups your breast, a thumb caressing your nipple. At the same time, his mouth traces kisses from your collarbone and down over your sternum. The wetness between your legs becomes even more apparent to you when his mouth finally reaches your other nipple, alternating between sucking on it with expertise and letting his tongue stroke over it. When his attention moves to the other breast, you explore his own chest and stomach with your hands.

Underneath, you can feel him growing firmer, and the realisation make you grind ever so slightly against him. A motion he naturally notices and pulls you harder against him. Feeling for the button of his slacks, Ignis stops you with a hand of his own. He looks at you with eyes almost black.

“Are you certain of this?”

“Yes”, you whisper back and give him a quick kiss before standing up, panting slightly: “Be right back, condom.” Sneaking into Astra’s room, you quickly find her box of assorted condoms. You know she stacks more sizes than you, and not knowing what to expect you want to be on the safe side and thus pick a couple of different ones. In the doorway you stop, observing the scene before you.

Ignis is leaning his head back against the sofa, with eyelids half-closed. More hair has fallen to his eyes and his mouth is somewhat open as he sits there in only his open shirt and tight boxers, leisurely sliding a hand over the stiffness beneath the fabric. He turns his gaze to you and you soundlessly move to him, undoing the button to your jeans in the process. Standing in front of him, he helps you tug them down. His long fingers hook at your underwear and looking up at you he murmurs: “You are breath-taking.” Teeth scrape at your hips while your underwear is slid down.

Once more you are in his lap, and when you rock you hips he nearly growls and pushes his boxers down far enough to free himself. Giving him the condoms, he chooses and swiftly covers himself. As you start to lower yourself, he stops you with a with hand on your thigh, before it continues to your soft folds. When a long finger slides along them and he feels your wet sex, he releases a moan and you must put your arms around his neck to keep yourself from simply losing all composure. The finger continues to caress, before it slowly enters the warmth of you, soon followed by a second finger. As they push further in, in steady, rhythmic motions you start rocking your hips to meet them. Ignis places a hard kiss on your mouth.

You let a hand travel down between your bodies and rub yourself, panting hard and leaning your forehead against his. You stay like this for a while, feeling the pleasure building up inside you. “I’m getting close. Please, I want to try to come with you inside.” His fingers slowly slide out and lets your fluids lubricate his hard member with unhurried motions. You stop playing with yourself and instead join his hand with your own, stroking him a few times. The sensation of his hard member has you breathing harder and soon he is lined up with your entrance.

It has been quite some time since your last sexual encounter, nevertheless your body is as ready as ever when you slowly slide down on him. Ignis moans silently and keeps you stable with hands on your hips as he watches you move before him. As he completely fills you, you sit still for a moment, just breathing and feeling him. You try to squeeze you walls a little, and Ignis exhales deeply.

“Please…” he murmurs and kisses you softly. Answering his plea, you finally begin to move. Hands are helping you rock your body, while your own are tangling with ashy hair, and every so often you kiss his face – his forehead, temples, cheeks, nose. Soon he starts pushing against you, unable to stay motionless. One of your hands leave his hair and travel down to touch yourself. A familiar, unwelcome sense is becoming apparent in one of your feet, but you push it aside as you are closing in on your own climax. Ignis feels you tighten more and more and breathes into your ear as he picks up speed: “Come. Come, my dear.”

As a glass getting full and finally overflowing, you feel yourself getting over that edge and let out moan you try to muffle against his shoulder. Ignis continues, though at a calmer pace, letting you ride out your orgasm. His moves become slightly more erratic, and catching your lips in a deep kiss, he reaches his peak. The pleasure running through has him almost growling into your mouth, and when he parts from it he is panting heavily and leans his forehead to yours. Then he displays concern, all rawness from the sexual act gone: “Are you alright, dear?”

“Hngh, sorry!” You quickly raise yourself from him, feeling him slide out of you, and drop down to the couch and start rubbing your foot. “Cramps, so much cramps.”

Ignis smiles and grabs your foot, putting it in his laps and massaging it. This earns him a satisfied exhalation from you, as the tension in the foot slowly diminishes. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure”, he murmurs tenderly. You lie there, watching him with astonishment growing in your chest.

“You are so... very kind. And intelligent. And hot.”

“I will take your grand compliments and treasure them.” Ignis chuckles again and places a kiss on your foot before releasing it. Standing up, he starts putting on clothes. “I need to be going, I do feel I need to change before the meeting. Though I doubt I will be mentally present during it.”

You stand up next to him as he’s almost done, pulling a blanket around you when you are suddenly very aware of your naked body. You take up his gloves and give them to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You lean into him and brush against his nose with yours.

“I will count the hours”, he mumbles back softly, meeting your lips with his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Trying to balance this chapter was a bit tricky, and thus it ended up longer than expected. Hope it is good enough, though!
> 
> Writing sex is hard (pun only slightly intended). 
> 
> Thank you for reading. <3


	9. One Wrong Closer to Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know each other better, and then almost ruining it.

### M.E. 755 - August

You walk up the stairs from the subway, following the stream of people pulsating through the corridors just like blood through a vein. You appreciate the anonymity of blending in with the larger mass, but now and again you miss the open fields, large forests and wildlife of Lucis. Well, what you considered to be the _real_ Lucis. It would be an understatement to consider Insomnia and Lucis to be two completely different countries – it felt like there were at least a difference of 30-40 years between the Crown City and the rest of the kingdom. Arriving in Insomnia had more or less been like ending up in a science fiction to you.

The bright sun greets you once you step out of the glass doors leading out to the courtyard below the overpass connecting the gates and the Citadel. You stop and close your eyes for a brief moment, cherishing the warmth caressing your body, a nice contrast to the chilly underground station you just left. Opening your eyes, you begin to skim through the myriad of people rushing about; it is much like watching a colony of ants. You are a little early, but you still find him. Stylish as always, he is like a radiating presence while the busy life circles around you. He is standing some ten metres away, watching you, and there is something soft in the eyes behind his glasses.

Ignis is positively blushing when you meet him in the courtyard. His shyness is making you shy as well – how this man ever has been able to have one-night stands is beyond you at the moment, but the experience from yesterday tells you he hasn’t been lying.

“Hey”, you greet, unexpectedly unsure of how to behave. What if he regrets last day’s escapades? He doesn’t look repulsed by your appearance though.

“Good afternoon”, he smiles, albeit somewhat awkwardly. “My car is in the garage, shall we?”

In his car, smelling of the familiar scent of leather and coffee, you throw him occasional glances as you small talk about trivial things.

“So, where are we shopping?” You look out of the window, noticing that you’ve left the busier streets and some posher addresses are popping up.

“We are going to stop by at Noct’s place first, to do some reconnaissance. He is at work right now, so we should be fine.” Ignis throws a glance in the mirrors before turning the wheel. “I must admit I am not entirely familiar with what games he already has in his possession. I am more familiar with the shelves of books he hasn’t read.”

You light up and feel a bud of excitement growing. “Oh, like a stealth mission? Spies undercover to... spy stuff?” You squint your eyes playfully and try to look, what you hope is, mysterious.

Ignis chuckles warmly and gives you an entertained look. “I assumed you were Kingsglaive, not a secret agent of the Royal Intelligence Agency.”

You give him a mock look of shock and offence and start pointing out of the window. “Of course I’m a spy. Need proof? Look, there’s a bridge, I spied it. Oh, there it is again. Nothing escapes me. Oh, still there. I’m a natural at this.” His grin becomes wider and it warms your heart that your shenanigans are appreciated.

“I daresay you are”, he plays along. “Well then, shall we park and infiltrate the target’s base?”

\--

Having passed the security downstairs, you are now standing in the middle of the living room of the heir apparent. Eyeing the room, you soon conclude that the flat has a very nice view from the balcony, but the place itself is a mess. Which is the understatement of the year.

“Wow”, you breathe and wrinkle your nose at the smell assaulting your senses.

Ignis gives you an apologetic glance as he fills a bag with garbage, just so that he will be able to gain access to the prince’s shelves of videogames. “Forgive me, I was hoping he would have kept it tidier since I last cleaned.”

“ _You_ don’t have to say sorry.” You pick up an empty Cup Noodle and throw it in the bag Ignis is holding. “And here I thought princes and princesses were born with an inborn desire to always keep everything neat and sparkly around them. No talking animals either?”

“Regrettably no.” Ignis shuffles some trash from a table next to the shelves and down the plastic bag, and you take away the dirty dishes from the floor underneath. The recon has been temporarily put on hold – you quickly understand that Ignis is incapable of ever leaving a room in a state such as this.

“Won’t he know you snooped around if we clean?” To speed things up, you have taken on washing the dishes as Ignis battles with the litter left in the large sofa. The apartment is looking slightly better, but far from presentable.

“He will not find it peculiar, I do this frequently”, he sighs heavily, but tries to hide his discontent best he can. It is enough for you to drop the brush to the sink with a loud clatter. Ignis looks up at you, observing as you almost stomp to him and jerk the trash bag from his hands. You tie it off and toss it onto the other bags on the floor before turning back to him.

Looking him deep in the eyes, you calmly say: “You’re not here to clean today. So, let’s have a look at the prince’s games so we can go shopping, because I’m dying to make out with you and I won’t be able to if you’re gonna play maid.”

He blinks and seems baffled by your bluntness, but only for a moment, because soon his mouth is upon yours and you find yourself falling to the sofa with Ignis following. He catches himself with hands on the back of the couch – the man looks just as surprised by his own actions as you are, not that you mind. You smirk and brush against his nose with yours, lightly pushing the glasses that are on their way down the bridge. Cupping his face, you kiss the soft lips in front of you. The touch of rough leather stirs your insides as he caresses your arm with gloved fingers. Ignis’ mouth has become more compliant, but you feel how he slowly takes control of you. You let your fingers run along his sharp jaw, and when they feel their way down his throat they are caught by his own.

His voice is heavy with desire when he lowly says: “As much as I’d like to continue this venture, I must insist we save it for later.”

You smirk cunningly and carefully push him off and stand to your feet. “Who says I wanted anything but a kiss?”

Ignis sinks down further in the sofa and sighs while watching you with half-lidded eyes. “You are torture.” The raspy voice of his sends shivers down your spine and you strut to the videogames praying your knees won’t buckle beneath you.

\--

 

The initial awkwardness has been substituted by a sort of familiarity. As you walk through the shops and boutiques of the great shopping mall, there’s the frequent secret glance or quick touch between you. It’s building a tension that is getting harder to ignore every time you catch him smiling that almost silly smile your way. Such a softhead, and you adore it. Walking into a shop, you brush your fingers against his hand and he gently catches yours with it. Your heart is picking up time and you lean a bit closer to Ignis, able to feel the scent of him as you do.

As you head towards the stands filled with games and consoles, he abruptly lets go of you. You watch him with silent surprise and he clears his throat and nods to the other entrance across the store.

“A colleague of mine, who’s been on maternity leave the last few months. Please continue looking, I’ll be right back, dear.”

“Sure.” You cock an eyebrow but choose to heed his words and begin exploring the immense assortment of games. Eyeing the bestseller shelf, you contemplate Ignis sudden distance and turn to look after him.

You see him standing in the other side of the store, talking to a well-dressed lady and you wave in his direction. He barely gives you a look before returning to the conversation with the woman in front of him. Slowly you lower your hand, and continue browsing through the games instead, feeling slightly embarrassed. He saw you, no doubt about that, but he... ignored you? As you let thoughts riot through your mind while walking the shelves, you fail to notice when he eventually sneaks up behind you.

“Find anything, dear?” Ignis looks over your shoulder and sounds genuinely interested. It confuses you, but you decide that you might have been wrong earlier. The warmth of his breath sends shivers down your spine and causes the hair in your neck to stand.

“This new RPG looks good”, you show him, and he hums in affirmation. You feel a hand on your hip, carefully holding you where you stand with your back to him.

 “Is this alright?” The airy whisper in your ear is like a tender wind blowing all doubts into the back of your mind.

Holding your breath, you smilingly answer: “Yeah.”

\--

After spending hours at the mall, your stomach starts alerting you of its emergent need of food. You hope for a second that it wasn’t heard, hopeful the engine of the car might have disguised the grumble. This man seems to notice everything though, and it has Ignis chuckling.

“I am fluent in Tenebraen, Accordian and stomach growls. Fortunately, we’re almost there.” He nods towards the towers of the Citadel, which can be seen every now and then behind tall buildings. The sun is set lower now, and the light has started softening, giving Ignis a more golden tone of his skin.

“I wish I could speak another language”, you say and ponder for a while. “There’s one thing I’ve been wondering.”

“Hm?” He raises an eyebrow, inciting you to continue. You watch him with a dead serious face.

“In the Empire of Niflheim… what is their language called? Niflish? Or is it Niflheimish? Heimlish? Nifese? Nifsy?” You watch him lightly bite his lower lip as if trying to hold back a laugh, and it amuses you. After clearing his throat, and making sure to take a left turn safely in a busy intersection, he replies:

“Well, their mother tongue is in fact Gralean, after the capital. Though, in the older, more northern parts, they speak Heimska. A linguistic artefact from the rule of Solheim. Then it spread as nomads moved about, if I recall correctly.” He drives up to the large gates outside the Citadel and nods to the guard who lets the car in.

“Huh,” you say. “Are you sure you’re actually a human and not a MT? Because you are scary knowledgeable in… well, everything.”

A cheeky smile crowns his lips, and you know he would throw you an entertained glance if he did not concentrate on navigating in the underground garage. However, you are not prepared for his vocal retort.

“Are you certain you are a human and not a muse sent by the gods? For you gift me an excess of inspiration, exuberant feelings and a yearning to indulge in you, and _only_ you.”

You swallow hard; your throat seems to have forgotten how to operate on its own. This man seems to be able to switch from sex god to shy nerd and back to seducer faster than you can warp-strike, and it’s hard to get your head around. Meanwhile, Ignis parks, pulls the handbrake and puts out the gear before turning to you. He looks almost too pleased when he kindly says:

“Shall we go? I have a meal to prepare for us.”

\--

After the late dinner you crawl down on the couch – Ignis’ loaded bookshelves have been entertaining you while he’s taken care of the dishes. Each time you tried to help, he just kissed you tenderly before chasing you away from the kitchen. Ignis is already sitting on the couch as you slide down next to him. He quickly finishes writing a text before looking up at you.

“It’s getting late,” you say, watching him with a silent question in your eyes.

He looks back at you and takes your hand to his mouth and kisses it slowly. “I plead guilty to not wanting to part from you just yet. Stay,” he says softly.

“I don’t have anything with me.”

“Nothing I cannot solve.”

As you move closer to him, he kisses your forehead lovingly. He continues: “I have a guest room if you prefer.”

You shake your head. “I’d probably just sneak in to you in the end, anyway,” you admit with a shy smile. You feel the curvature of his lips on your skin when he answers your smile.

“You make it difficult for me to maintain my chivalrous approach.”

Nevertheless, Ignis still succeeds in tearing himself away from the sofa and disappears into his bedroom for a short while. He is soon back with a toothbrush in unbroken packaging and a stylish, sleek pyjama shirt with matching pants.

“Unfortunately, I have nothing smaller in size,” he excuses and hands them over. You thank him as you take them and go to the bathroom down the hall. Quite quickly, you find out that the pants will only slide off and abandon them to instead just get cosy in his shirt. You find some wipes and clean your face best you can and brush your teeth before exiting the room. When you open the door, you look into his bedroom across the hallway – Ignis is standing by the bed and has just unbuckled his belt, and the shirt hangs wide open on him. He gives you a blushing look, but you only walk in to him and sit down by the bed. You touch the pyjamas lying on the spread – it’s just as soft as the one you’re wearing.

“This has to be the comfiest thing I’ve ever slept in,” you confess smilingly and tilt your head as you watch him take of his shirt. He puts it on a hanger and then on a rod opposite of the bed. Everything in his home is in as much order as he himself is. Everything on its proper place. It makes you ponder where Ignis’ proper place might be.

“I’m happy to pamper you anytime,” Ignis beams and walks out to the bathroom. While he brushes his teeth, you snuggle down under the covers of his bed – the large, continental feels heavenly and efficiently lulls you into great comfort. You must have snoozed off, because when you look up you see Ignis sitting on the bed, watching you with soft eyes. The glasses are gone, and he’s just about to put on his pyjama shirt.

“Don’t”, you mumble and reach out an arm to gently capture his hand. “I want to feel your warmth.” He nods and folds the piece away, putting it on the bedrest. Then he turns off the light and crawls down next to you – you turn to have him spooning you.

“Would it be alright if we just lie here, like this?” It’s a mere whisper, but he hears it and nuzzles his mouth close to give your neck chaste, butterfly-light kisses.

“Of course.”

With his lips softly against your neck and his breath gently tickling your skin, you close your eyes and fall asleep in his safe embrace.

\--

The sun has barely risen when you find yourself awake and unable to fall back asleep. You watch the tranquillity that is Ignis – his mouth is slightly open and the eyelids heavy as he’s breathing deeply in his sleep. Your gaze follows the contours of his face; the sharp jaw and nose, the soft tresses of hair hanging down his eyes, the small scars from past acne. Perhaps he had some trouble with his skin as a teen? You can’t help letting your thumb gently brush his lower lip, an action that surprisingly has him smiling. His eyes are still closed as he murmurs with a deep, raspy voice:

“I am afraid I might still be dreaming.” He lightly nibbles your thumb, and when you wordlessly giggle strong arms pull you close to his bare chest, followed by a soft kiss on your lips. When Ignis pulls back, he finally looks at you.

“As long as it’s not a nightmare”, you reply with a devious smile, gazing into his emerald eyes.

“I doubt you could be part of my nightmares.” A hand slides up your waist, under the shirt.  His calloused skin feels rough against yours. As a response, you carefully roll your hips against his, earning a deep groan when you feel his erect member.  A sigh emerges as he kisses you before propping himself up on an arm. “The Gods know I would prefer to stay here and conduct in rather sinful activities by their standards, alas I need to prepare for work.”

Ignis gets out of bed and starts picking out the outfit of the day. “What are your plans for today, dear?”

You turn in the bed to watch him. “I was thinking of heading down to the sparring halls, thought that would be nice.”

“Oh”, he smiles as he turns around with a set of clothes in arms. “Already missing the glaives?” Ignis bends down to give you a kiss. “I’ll have a quick shower and prepare some breakfast after that. Sleep for as long as you wish, I’ll leave a spare key on the kitchen counter. Be sure to rest up properly.”

“So sweet of you to care”, you almost purr while pulling the blanket closer around you.

“Well, it might not be entirely without an arrière-pensée – “, Ignis looks back at you before heading to the bathroom, and eyes you slowly. The deviousness in his eyes is visible for only a brief, but distinct moment. “I admit I hope you will have the energy for more trysts in the near future.” As he disappears out of the room, you blushingly bury your face in his pillow and drown in the scent of him – this man is likely to drive you mad by simply watching you with that subtle, yet lewd expression.

\--

You wake up again a few hours later and stretch wide in the large bed, still a bit astonished by where you are and why. From the large windows you can see the clear August sky above the tall surrounding buildings. Once showered and dressed, you enter the rest of the apartment. On the kitchen counter you find a thermos and spot a small note just next to it.

_I made you coffee, and there are freshly made red velvet crepes in the refrigerator, with strawberries and whipped cream in the container next to them. The stove is prepared if you wish to re-heat them. The key is beneath this note._

_I wish you a lovely day._

_Ignis_

You check – yep, under the note is the key to his home. You put it in your pocket as to not forget it later and start to decipher how to work the modernity of the induction cooktop.

\--

The ride down the palace is longer than the subsequent walk from the ground floor to the Kingsglaive’s wing. Though the away mission had been taxing to say the least, your body is aching for some exercise after resting for a couple of days. Save for the intimate session with Ignis the other day. Heading into the locker room, you find the spare set of training clothes you keep there.

You swiftly change into them and head towards the sparring halls further down a long hallway. You find an empty one fairly quickly. Inside, you browse through the various training equipment – weapons of every kind, everyone for sparring. Daggers and swords are your typical choice of offensive, along with magic. The latter still needed a bit of improvement, but you had the thunder in pin-point control by now. You stop to look at a broadsword and a mace, but quickly walk past – you’ve always considered them too slow for your taste, and they left you wide open.

Giving the polearm a look, you make a mental note to ask Ignis to demonstrate it properly for you someday. The memory of when he taciturnly and resolutely beat Major Brutus comes fresh to mind as you see the lance. Though you doubt that you stand any chance, the thought of fighting Ignis unleashes a spark of adrenaline through your body. No matter the obvious outcome, you dare assume you’d at least learn a thing or too. Shaking away the daydreams, you go for the usual picks – this time the short sword.

You have barely worked up a sweat when the doors abruptly burst open. Marshal Cor’s light blue eyes searches the room and lands on you where you stand with the sword ready against an invisible enemy.

“Soldier…” He quiets, as a que for you.

“Lieutenant Talon, Sir”, you introduce yourself and give Cor the Immortal a quick but courteous bow.

He gives you a nod and clears his throat. “Might I ask for you to assist me? I seem to have gotten a student who has more trouble in learning than the usual lot. I’m afraid I’ll end up crushing the poor bastard if this continues.”

You raise an eyebrow and walk over to your towel to wipe away the sweat. “Of course, Sir. But, if I may be so bold, why has the Crownsguard accepted someone who might not be able to handle it?” You bring your belongings and the practice sword along, following the Marshal down the corridor to a larger hall with an adjoined gallery.

“Wasn’t my choice, but a request by the Prince”, he replies curtly, and you refrain from questioning it further, noticing that the man seems slightly annoyed by the situation.

When entering the other sparring hall, you notice a young blonde who looks more than nervous where he stands – and he does not resemble any Crownsguard you’ve seen before.

“Hiya”, he chirps and reaches out to greet you.

“Lieutenant Talon, this is His Highness’ comrade, Prompto Argentum”, Cor says and walks past the blonde to pick up one of the practice weapons – a sword similar to yours. You widen your eyes in realisation as you squeeze the young man’s hand.

“Oh, Prompto!” Then it occurs to you that you have not been formally introduced to him, and that he likely doesn’t know who you are judging the look on his face.

“Yeah, that’s me, the plebe”, he blushes and grins sweetly. “Have we met before? I’m super sorry if I forgot! There’s just so many people in the palace and nowadays Noct never wants to hang around here. And I’m babbling now. Sorry, I’m so nervous, and Cor only beats me to a pulp. No offence, sir!”

Cor snorts, but there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes. “I realized we need to back down a few levels. Mind helping me with that, lieutenant?”

You let go of Prompto’s hand and nods before smilingly returning your gaze to the blonde. “Ready, Mr Argentum?”

\--

Some hours later, an exhausted Prompto is lying on the floor, panting heavily for air. You too are a bit ruffled from the sparring; the youngling might be inexperienced, but his erratic moves made it hard for you to pin down a pattern in his attacks.

His voice just about ranges into a falsetto as he addresses you from the ground: “Hey… sorry for dropping… the sword on you back there.”

“It’s not me you should apologise to, if it was a real battle, you’d be dead”, you huff back with the smile askew.

Cor quietly nods and eyes the different weapons in the locked cabinets. “We’ll try something different next time, Argentum. See you next week.” You watch the older man leave the room before offering Prompto a hand to get up to his feet, which he with gratitude takes.

 “So, um”, he starts, combing the no longer very stylish hair with a gloved hand. The blush that travels from his cheeks to his shoulders is adorable, and you fear slightly what he is trying to say. “Yeah, I kinda wondered, if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind, like, training with me again? I could use the practice. And Cor is awesome, but it would be nice to not worry about getting murdered once in a while.”

You start putting the swords back in the cabinets, pondering for a moment. “I suppose. Yeah, why not?” You turn back with a smile. “I mean, what’s the harm? That is, um, will be good for you to spar with both the Crownsguard and a Kingsglaive.”

Prompto gives you a confused, yet relieved look and runs over to his bag to fetch something, shortly returning with his phone. “Sweet! Whatcha number?”

After giving him it, and as you’re heading towards the locker rooms, you can’t help the question wanting to escape you. “So, how come you’re not training with the prince? Or, at least his retainers?”

“I do sometimes, but they are like suuuper busy all the time. And since No-, err, the prince started working part-time, and I have my studies… well, yeah. Mostly been spending time with the marshal these last weeks.” He shifts his bag from one shoulder to the other. “But I AM going to go and bother Gladio now, we need to find No-, the prince, a gift. Apparently, Iggy went and got one without us.” He stops and smiles awkwardly by the door to the Kingsglaive’s wing. “So, I suppose I’ll see you next time you wanna beat someone up?”

“Sure”, you nod, and you enter the wing, contemplating the instantaneous fondness you’ve acquired for the boy with chocobo-hair.

\--                                 

Walking back to the main towers of the citadel, the sunny sky, which greeted you this morning, is long gone. Instead, a heavy shower of rain has taken its place, quickly soaking you. It is still a few hours left before the sky will be completely dark, but the grey clouds make the day seem shorter.

In the corner of your eye, you notice shadows moving. Nothing unusual, seeing as the palace is the home and workplace of numerous people. Perhaps it’s the recent away mission that has you on your toes, nevertheless, a bad feeling strikes your body and as the shadows draw closer you can discern the unmistakable features of Tredd, Luche and Axis.

“Talon”, Axis nods in acknowledgement, and you are for a moment sure it will be left at that. However, Tredd rapidly shoots down that notion. You haven’t seen a lot of the redhead lately, figuring he’s been out of town much like Tobul.

“Heard you were spending good time with the prince’s chamberlain”, there’s a dry tone in his voice and he jerks a thumb towards Axis – enough proof that Astra must have once again enlightened him. “And Pelna watched you playing with that commoner friend in the sparring halls.”

“So what?” You don’t even try to hide the sternness from your voice.

Tredd shrugs innocently and slowly walks up next to you, urging you to keep walking with him by your side. “Nothing, sweetie.” You shiver at the name. “Nothing at all, if you could just do us a favour that is.”

“I-“

“Now, now, listening is key here”, he hushes you quickly with a finger to his lips. You notice Luche and Axis are following behind you, but you are soon seized again by Tredd’s amber eyes. “You are as smart as anyone, and I’ve seen you fight. You’re one of the _real_ heroes around here. Too bad everyone’s too busy idolizing Ulric instead.”

“What’s your point, Furia?” Your reply is close to a growl by now as you head closer to the palace.

“Your love boy, Scientia, along with the rest of the royal power, are just using us. Doesn’t matter if we’re from Galahd or anywhere else in Lucis, their only concern is Insomnia. You’ve seen what it’s like outside the wall.”

You slap away an arm that is trying to sneak around your shoulders. “The King is doing the best he can to keep the peace.”

Tredd lets out a short, cruel laughter. “Yeah, right. We’re nothing to them, why do you think we’re the ones getting sent over the wall? We’re cannon fodder who just unexpectedly can wield the King’s power, probably just because some royal ancestors fucked around or something.” He shakes his head at his own remark, making a face of pure disgust. “Here’s the thing though; with you being close to the inner circle of the palace, we can learn a lot and keep ourselves safe. You’ll be our eyes and ears on the inside.”

The conversation is making you more and more uneasy; the joke the other day about you being a spy is all of a sudden less funny. Quickening your steps, you noticing a familiar figure standing by the doors, talking in his phone underneath an umbrella. You reckon he recently arrived at the Citadel. Tredd lets his gaze follow yours and sees Ignis Scientia as well. His smirk stiffens and remains cold.

In a lower tone, he continues: “You’ll see I’m right, we’re unwanted by Insomnia. We’re rats to them. We need to be prepared before they decide to get rid of us.”

Your fists are curled into hard balls when you call, not more than some 10-15 metres away by now: “Ignis!” The stylish man looks down the stairs and his eyes turn warm when he sees you – a true comfort in the situation you’re in. Ignis ends the call, then notices the hand of Tredd, that is trying to grasp after you as you semi-run up the stairs. A short distance away stands Luche and Axis, quietly observing the scene.

“Anything the matter?” He is speaking to you but looking at Tredd. The redhead is returning the stare with impolite obstinacy. Ignis’ arm is soon safely hooked with your wet one, and you use it to anchor yourself into the feeling of safety.

“No”, you exhale, giving Tredd a dark look. “No, I’m completely fine now.”

\--

Ignis asks once but does not pursue the matter further when he notices your reluctance towards the subject. Instead, he offers you a dry, soft sweater before the two of you immerse yourself in making a light dinner. To your contentment, Ignis is letting you join in in the cooking.

 

While preparing the vegetables, you wash a bright yellow bell pepper, and come to think of the meeting earlier this day. “Oh, I met Prompto by the way.” In the periphery, you can tell that Ignis’ movements come to a halt.

“Is that so? How come?” His voice betrays nothing, but he remains still. Trying to ignore the peculiar behaviour, you go on:

“Yeah, Cor looked for someone to act as sparring partner for him today and it went pretty well. I didn’t tell him I know you, figured you might want to do that yourself.” Ignis relaxes a touch and begins moving again while paying attention to you. “He seems really sweet. He wanted to meet again. To train, obviously.”

Ignis hums and puts away some clean plates from the dishwasher. “Yes, Prompto is rather genuine. Though, might I ask that you keep the contact to a minimum for the time being?”

You give him a questioning look. “Why?”

“It is not a demand”, he smiles gently towards you. “Merely a wish. I would prefer to tell him and the others about our relationship, by myself. And I fear Prompto is not the greatest at keeping secrets from Noct.”

“Oh, okay. Sure.” The answer leaves you wondering, but you decide to drop it for now. However, as you are chopping away, trying to make the minced paprika look somewhat decent, you feel lithe hands travel up and down your bare arms. Through a smile, you mumble: “I _am_ holding a pretty sharp knife here.”

“Pardon, I am fully aware of proper kitchen safety, I merely…” There’s an unusual pause as he slowly lets a thumb caress a birthmark you know you have on the back of your neck. “…couldn’t forgo the romance of the situation.”

A soft chuckle leaves your lips. “You’re not going to start helping me chop, are you? Just like in those romantic flicks.”

“I am certain you are in no prerequisite of such assistance”, he murmurs, and his hands travel lower, to the hem of your underwear. The denims are neatly hanging next to your damp shirt.

“What you appetize for is not on the menu”, you purr and put down the knife as his lips start exploring your neck. Your knees are close to giving in when he lightly bites the nape of your neck, his hands taking a sturdier grip of your waist.

“Then I’ll graciously ask to order off-menu.” His hands move to pin down yours against the counter, carefully rolling his hips against you.

A small whine escapes you, nevertheless it’s not enough to stop you from light-heartedly remark: “I thought cooking was the great interest of yours.”

As a retort, the tall man chuckles deeply into your skin. “Not as much an interest as a keen worry and duty to look after Noctis’ needs. I’ve come to profoundly appreciate it, certainly, nonetheless it has little to do with my personal needs and desires. Those desires are something else entirely at this moment in time.”

You exhale breathily at this, scraping at the marble the best you can beneath is hands, and you fear that your entire body is turning red from his lustful words. “You are so much more modest in public. Do people even think you have a sex-drive?”

Ignis continues to the other side, gently nibbling the ear. “I personally do not find satisfaction in flaunting myself to just anyone”, he replies slowly and watches you turn around in his arms. As he presses his forehead to yours, he murmurs: “I typically pride myself in the fact that it takes a great deal to wind me up.”

Small strands of hair have started to fall over his eyes, which are looking at you with lustful intensity. An intensity brusquely interrupted by a loud knock from the front door.

 “Wait here”, he murmurs into your ear, and walks over to the door with long strides.

“Hey.” A deep voice is heard from the other side of the door, but then it becomes more muffled and you realise that Ignis has stepped outside, keeping the door only slightly open. Seemingly, this confuses someone out there as much as it confuses you.

“Hey, Iggy, what’s going on, bud?” A cheerful voice speaks up, and it is impossible to not know whom it belongs to. “Are you hiding something in there?”

“Or someone”, muses the first.

A huff from Ignis and he replies wryly: “Don’t be ridiculous. Now, what is so important that you come seeking me in my own quarters? I have a perfectly functioning phone.”

“Easy, hot stuff! Been out with shortcake, looking for a gift to prince Charmless. Noct’s invited us to play games tonight, so we thought we’d pick him up from work. Wanna join?”

You peek around the corner down the entryway and discern a tall man through the narrow opening – the Prince’s Shield.

“Yeah, come on!” The other voice is lighter, and full of expectations.

Ignis however isn’t budging. “No, thank you, Prompto, I will be home tonight.”

“Oh?” You can hear the smirk on Gladiolus’ lips. “So, you _do_ have someone in there.”

“Of course not, I have a proposition that needs to be handed in by tomorrow morning.” You flinch a bit where you stand - Ignis sounds noticeably irritated. “Now, please have the decency to call next time. And tell Noct I’ll be over tomorrow with his dinner and some documents from the last council meeting.”

“Fine, be a snore”, mutters Gladiolus and the little you can see of him disappears from your view.

“Bye, Iggy.” Prompto sounds a little saddened, yet it’s nothing compared to what you’re feeling at the moment.

Once he’s closed the door and turned back to you, you are given an apologetic smile – one you do not return. “Pardon the interruption, as I’ve mentioned, I am never truly off the clock.” Ignis takes a few steps closer to you but stops when he notices your furrowed brows. “Is anything the matter, dear?”

You cross your arms and lean towards the wall, meeting his green orbs. “I know you are a busy, important man, and that is fine, but are you ashamed of me?”

“Pardon?” he repeats again, looking baffled.

You give the door a nod. “You were quick to hide me away right now. And earlier, in the mall, you acted as if you didn’t know me. It seems to me like you just want to…” Against your better judgment, Tredd’s words echo in your mind. “…stow me away when I’m not convenient.”

“Ah, I...” The man with the, usually, swift comebacks and well-formulated opinions is silent. An answer as good as any, so you walk over to the sofa, pull off his cosy sweater in change for your semi damp one and quickly put on the still uncomfortably wet pants. You grab your bag and walk past him, hastily putting on your shoes. “Please, I assure you, it’s only...”

“You’ve assured me enough”, you bite back and throw your bag over the shoulder, almost knocking Ignis in the process. “It’s not that I don’t understand you, given the class differences, I just wish you had told me from the start that it was a secret relationship you had in mind. Until you find someone more appropriate, I guess.”

Ignis frowns as he observes you finish tying your shoes. “It is not like that, I simply did not want...”

“Bye, ‘ _Iggy’_.” You open and step through the door, but he’s there before you can close it behind you.

“Could you at least let me finish?” There’s almost a scowl on his face, a small hint on desperation in his eyes. But your heart has moved from its place in your chest and is now pooling around in the acid of your stomach, burning just like the tears that threatens behind your eyes. So, all you can answer in a strained voice, before disappearing down the corridor, is:

“Nope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken so long! Work has been a... well. Good thing I love my job. 
> 
> I am also sorry this chapter ended like this, but from the beginning it was more than twice as long and though I wanted to end it on a happier note, the length just became ridiculous. Instead, the next one will be out faster than this one! c: (Will also correct a ton on the last chapter, I really hope this one doesn't contain as many mistakes, weird how one always spot them AFTER posting the chapter online.)
> 
> If you're still reading - thank you! <3


	10. A Royal Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you been overthinking? Underthinking? Either way, you are full of doubts and an urge to either punch or hug people.

 

### M.E. 755 - August

“Hey, is Astra there?” You lean back in the sofa when Val answers his phone.

“Hey love! No, I think she’s with Ass- I mean Axis.” Different clinks and clanks are heard in the background, and you suspect he is washing dishes - a suspicion confirmed by the sudden splash of water. “They are back at it again.”

“Amazing”, you mutter and claw a little at the fabric of the furniture. The soft material suddenly reminds you of the escapades from a few days earlier and you move to the armchair instead. You don’t want to be reminded of the feeling of Ignis inside you. “I need to talk.”

“Shoot.” He sounds a bit distant, but you appreciate it nevertheless. Pouring out all your heart - all heartfelt comments Ignis has given you throughout the months, the texting while on your away mission and the ministrations you were up to just a few days ago - you are left sniffling once you are done.

“I don’t expect a big coming out party or whatever nobles do when they start dating, I just don’t want to be hidden away like some dirty magazine or sex toy. He even met Astra!” You wipe your nose ungracefully on your sleeve, while Valerio listens patiently. He seems to have stopped with whatever he was doing and is just listening to you now. “He makes me feel so stupid.” You bite your lip. “I just… I think I actually fell for him during our conversations, back in Galahd, you know? Which is even more stupid, we’ve only been talking for a few months.”

Val clears his throat: “Okay, so what would Astra suggest?”

You draw your knees up to your chin and mumble: “To get wasted and forget ‘the noble son of a hopefully-better-mother-when-she-was-still-alive’”. Val gives you a short laugh and you can’t help but smile a little. “And there’s just these things Tredd said…”

“Tredd? So Furia is back in town? Why would you ever listen to that douchebag? He’s pals with Axis and Luche, good enough reason to stay clear of him.”

“I know…”

“And that’s why you should listen to me instead, darling. Also, unlike Astra, I’ve actually had a few serious relationships despite my tender age.” You roll your eyes at this but continue to listen. “First: hear him out. Sure, it might go to hell, but then you’ve at least given him the chance, the benefit of a doubt. From what you’ve told me and the texts I read in Galahd, he seems pretty decent. Second: don’t get drunk, it won’t solve anything. Third: I love you, and if the noble boy hurts you, I will hurt him. Possibly after trying to make out with the Prince or his Shield. Please don’t tell the dude I’m dating I said that.”

Leaning back against the armchair, you sigh: “You’re always so frustratingly reasonable, that’s why I never talk to you about these things, ‘cause you just make me do the right thing all the time.” You are quiet for a second before sighing adding: “Love you.”

“I know you do, hon.”

\--

Some three weeks later you are back to your routines, something you’ve missed after everything that’s happened. Today’s schedule includes patrolling and standing guard inside the Citadel together with one of the newbies. Thankfully, the recruit is not much of a talker, which makes your job easier.

It is well past lunch and the hallway you are positioned in is gently buzzing with the sounds of passing people; employees, people visiting the different departments, an occasional school class having a tour. What you don’t expect is to see the bobbing chocobo-hair coming down the hall, next to tired looking Prince Noctis. You cautiously turn away your face as to circumvent detection but can’t help listening in to their talk. It could be they are so used to all guards always close by, since they don’t throw you a glance.

“He still hasn’t said what he’s pissed about?” Quickly looking their way, you see the fair-haired boy shoot Noctis a glance, who shrugs and stretches his arms with a yawn.

“Nothing, and he just keeps nagging me about the council meetings. I even think he burnt the lunch he brought yesterday, I mean, what the actual...?!”

“Gladio thinks he had company the other week, when he and I went by his place, and that he’s mad because we almost caught him with them.” The two of them walk past you and you give the prince a slight bow, though he doesn’t take notice. Which is just as well, because you fear your face is starting to betray you as you eavesdrop.

“Still no reason to be mad with _me_?!” splutters Noctis and you look after the pair as they saunter out of the grand entrance doors, your thoughts lingering on their conversation. So Ignis was in a sour mood? You shouldn’t care. You don’t want to care. Really.

But then again, you do.

\--

Valerio is finishing cleaning the table while you let the rest of the soup pour down into a thermos, making sure you will have some leftovers the coming days. Astra helps by putting the remainder of the garlic bread in a bag and seals it. You always enjoy your frequent dinners together, but it was nicer when Tobul was still in Insomnia.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Val quietly asks as he stands behind you, resting his chin on your head like some long-necked arba. Astra moves slower to listen, and it irritates you. You two haven’t talked about the fact that she’s spending almost all her time with Axis again, but she is fully aware of your feelings. Especially as she also knows that you’re aware of her telling Axis about Ignis and you.

“No.”

“It’s been like, what, a couple of weeks at least?”

“Yep.”

“Did he try to call or text you?”

“Yep.”

Valerio murmurs something inaudible and struts away towards the table to remove the cutlery. Astra keeps looking at you, which is provokes you.

“What?” There’s more bite to it than you were planning, but at the same time you do not regret it. Astra remains quiet, so you go on and throw a spoon in the sink with a loud clank: “What? Are you going to tell me that Axis and his bffs were right all along? That _you_ were right? That I was just… just some…”

An involuntary sniffle falls from you, as does stubborn tears which won’t keep on being confined any longer. In the next moment, both Astra and Valerio are hugging you close, making a protective bubble for you to break in.

“I would never say that”, whispers Astra and strokes your hair. “I’m just sorry for your sake.”

All you see is a blurred vision of Astra’s red mane, so you dive your face into her shirt, ignoring that it will likely get stained. Valerio rests his head on yours yet again and holds you safe.

“I asked Nyx if he could change shifts with you, but he was scheduled elsewhere that night. But if it’s any consolation, both Astra and I are already scheduled to be at the party. So, you won’t be alone if you run into Lord Glasses.” The tall blonde then breaks off the hug and gently has you facing him. “And _if_ you change your mind, that’s fine too. It’s okay to have fallouts and then get back together. Either way, we’ll be here to support you.”

Through wet eyes, you slowly nod and snivel once more, before tossing your arms around Val.

\--

The day prior to Prince Noctis’ grand twentieth celebration, you meet an overly enthusiastic Prompto in the sparring halls. The blonde and you have been texting sporadically and finally found an empty slot in both your schedules.

He is waving frantically from the gallery as he enters, and speedily rush down the stairs to the floor.

“Hiya, lieutenant!” His grin is beaming as happily as his blue eyes, and it liquifies your heart. To think that this boy is friends with the proper and stoic Ignis Scientia. If Ignis title is royal adviser, then Prompto’s must be royal goof head.

“Long time no see, ready for another round?” You let the twin daggers in your hands cut the air, feeling their weight. A bit heavier than your own weapons, but they are just fine against the novice. Prompto nods energetically and to your surprise he pulls out a gun from his bag.

“Uh, it’s only a dud! Or, well, it only shoots blanks at least.” He turns the firearm in his hands. “Cor thought I’d try some long-range, since I’m not really advancing in my sword dancing.”

“Huh”, you reply and walk over to him, taking a closer look at the weapon. “Well, that will be a new one. We rarely use firearms. Difficult to warp after a bullet.”

Prompto gives a small, heartily laugh. “Oh man, I’d love to see Noct try doing that!”

You gesture for him to take his stance, doing so yourself. “The Empire uses all kinds of guns and missiles, so this practice will be useful for both of us. Ready?”

The young man watches you with determination and fingers on the weapon in his hand before giving a short nod. At the sign, you throw yourself to the side just as he fires it. You are limiting yourself from using warping, to give the young man a fairer chance. Quickly rolling to the left, you then get up on your feet and flip one of the daggers in Prompto’s direction. With a yelp, he ducks as it flashes by and it gives you the chance to leap at him and pin him down to the ground with a knee to his chest and a dagger to his throat.

“Whoa”, he gulps and stares up at you. “I-I, um, can we just… I give-”As you start to relax your grip there’s a sudden flash of metal in the corner of your eye, and before you can react he has fired of a blank shot from the ground, hitting your arm. “-YOU FIJAAAH!” His scrawny body throws you off of him while you cover the bruise on your arm. “Da-da-da-daaa-da-da-dada-daaa!” He happily sings as he hurries to his feet. ”I tricked ya!”

You laugh as he once more aims his gun at you. “Good job, chocoboy. But _this_ is fire.” With a motion, you concentrate, and a reasonably sized plume of fire emerges from your palm, efficiently having Prompto on the run while you are given time to recover your other weapon.

“Not fair, I don’t know magic!” The blonde agitatedly waves around a smoking leg, trying to make the heat go away.

“A little less conversation, a little more action, please.” You might be enjoying this a bit too much, but the look in Prompto’s face when your up close to him is precious. From the short distance, he has trouble aiming and has to throw himself away again, as far away from you as possible. You wait and shout after him: “Good, your backflips are better than last time. Don’t be afraid to get yourself dirty, use your surroundings.”

He looks back at you with panic, then he suddenly charges at you. Taking your stance again, you give him a moment, to see what his plan is. As Prompto’s coming up close, you prepare to charge – only to hit thin air as he drops down and slides beneath your arm. You can feel the blanks fly past you when you jump away from him. Then there’s a sting and your leg is aching.

This is where you decide that playtime has to end – you’ve actually been hit twice by the duds. As Prompto is fumbling around to reload, you swiftly walk up and swipe away his legs with a kick. Back on his chest, you make sure to get rid of the still unloaded gun and then keep the youngling on the floor with the threat of your two daggers.

“I yield”, he yelps. You get off and help him to sit opposite of you.

“Good job, Prompto”, you say with honesty. “A gun might just be your weapon. Cor was right.”

The blonde looks happy and fingers on the firearm, making sure it is safe. “Yeah, I think so too.”

“You just have to learn how to load faster.”

He nods, and then grins. “Noct said I’ll get access to his armiger once Cor thinks I’m ready. How cool is that?! I’ll be able to summon guns from thin air!” His blue eyes are practically sparkling at this point, and you feel his cheerfulness rubbing off on you. “Just like you glaives do, or like Noct and the others. Damn, when Iggy summons his daggers… he just has this finesse to everything, you know.”

“Yeah…” You are close to saying ‘I know’. Prompto does not seem to notice it though.

“But he’s been so down lately. First, I thought it was because of all preps for Noct’s birthday, but now I’m not sure.” The man bites his lip and then blushes. “Sorry, I just don’t have anyone, like, neutral to talk to about this.”

You laugh silently at his remark. Neutral. Sure. As unbiased as you could be, having given yourself fully to mentioned adviser. Still, you can’t help the curiosity.

“It’s fine, talk if you want to.”

“Oh, cool, thanks.” He crosses his legs and looks thoughtful. “Iggy was just so happy all of summer, and whenever we bugged him about it he just went full Iggy and said things like ‘All in due time blah blah’ or ‘I assure you I have no idea what you are talking about blah blah’. Gladio thinks he met someone and then blew it.”

“And you have no idea who it might be?” You carefully watch him, trying not to betray yourself.

He shrugs and leans back on his hands. “Nah, but I’d sure like to meet them….

“Can I ask you something?” You watch your feet as you speak, unsure how to pursue the matter. “There’s this person I know, someone I’ve been seeing. He acted kind of douchy, though he might not have intended to. It could be I jumped to conclusions, but I was really hurt at the time.” You sigh and hug your knees. “He seems very well-liked by those who know him, so maybe he really didn’t mean to.”

Prompto looks lost in thoughts for a moment, before slowly replying: “I s'pose. Not that being nice to people stops you from being a total assbutt sometimes.” You snicker at his choice of words, and he grins blushingly. “You should prolly talk to him, if he’s still acting like that, then you’ll know you’re worth better. And if he is, then just kick his ass like you did with me!”

He stands up and this time he’s the one helping you up. There’s a look of resolve in his eyes. “So, until next time, I’ll practice every day with the gun, and you’ll go tell that boy to better treat you right! ‘Cause I want my new top-trainer in tip-top mood. Okay?”

“Yeah, promise.” Your steps feel lighter when you leave the training halls. 

\--

The stomach practically hurts from apprehension; you feel sick and the room is close to spinning. The three words you’ve written might just be on the top three of “Most difficult things to text someone you’ve ignored but actually can’t stop thinking about”. There’re still a few hours left before you have to head to work, to the celebration tonight. The last day of August, and right now it feels like the last day of your life.

**_You_ **

_Can we talk?_

The minutes pass, and turn into half an hour, and soon a full hour. As you check your phone for the nth time, you sigh and continue cleaning in your room. You really should do some scheduling and review the curricula for the newbies but dusting in the far corner beneath your bed unexpectedly seems much more fascinating. More than half of your body is under the bed when the phone suddenly chimes loudly and vibrates, causing you to shoot your head up and hit it hard onto the bedframe.

“Crap”, you hiss and crawl out, a small wisp of dust following you.

**_Ignis_ **

_I would like to do so. Any chance after the celebration tonight? I am afraid I am quite busy until then._

**_You_ **

_Yeah, sure. I really want to clear the air between us._

You wonder if it’s too much, but send it anyhow:

_I miss you._

_\--_

The grand hall within the palace is swarming with guests from all over Eos, except the Empire, naturally. Though Niflheim has annexed both Tenebrae and Accordo, there are ambassadors present from both countries. You recognise the sneaky Accordian ambassador that managed to get Ignis tipsy last time you guarded a party. He will likely try to avoid her this time.

The decorations in the hall are grand, but modest – sombre colours as to match the otherwise dark Citadel. Large, blue drapes are framing the large, bespoken windows. Outside, the sun is on its last descend of the summer – next time it rises it will be the September 1st and autumn.

Prince Noctis arrived two hours ago and seemed bothered by the attention from the start but has since lightened up – you suspect that the gift from his father might have been appreciated. The King had gifted his son a commissioned, pristine car and the youngling would likely have sped off in it if Ignis hadn’t politely held him back. You could swear you heard some muttering about it “not being fitting to start the vehicle within, among all the guests”.

Ignis himself has been busy, only meeting your eyes once. There had been a worrying frown on his face when he did, making your insides twist anxiously. After the party, you are going to talk it out. You try to tell yourself that what will be, will be. Yet you cannot really decide if you want to hurt him or have him.

“Hello, you!” The jolly voice of Prompto wakes you from the observations of the party, and then he’s before you with a huge piece of cake on a plate and a flute of champagne in the other hand. “Chocobro to the rescue! Figured you might be hungry, you haven’t moved all night.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you”, you grin widely and feel the overwhelming appreciation towards the blonde, but politely decline. “Though, I can’t eat while working.” You point to your uniform and he blushes.

“Ah, yeah, shoulda thought of that, right?” He is then weighed down by a large hand on his shoulder and you both look up to see Gladiolus’ smirking face.

“Whatcha doing, shortcake?” He looks from Prompto to you.

“Uh, this is Lieutenant Talon from the Kingsglaive.” The blush now reaches Prompto’s ears, and it gets even redder when Gladiolus playfully elbows him and say:

“Oh, hooking up with military chicks? I didn’t take you as that kinda guy, Prom.” The older man laughs wholeheartedly and pats his friend on the back. “Not since you’re always shutting down in front of the ladies.”

“We’re sparring partners”, you civilly enlighten him after presenting yourself, seeing as Prompto is stuttering away with incomprehensible language you reckon he won’t be able to provide much at the moment. “Kudos of Marshal Leonis.”

“Gladio”, the brunette grins and gives the two of you another glance. “So, nothing going on here?”

“No!” spits the poor boy and chugs the champagne, onlooked by a humoured royal shield. “Stop assuming things!”

“Take it easy, bud, I’m just kidding around”, he says, but gives you a final look. You can swear he’s smouldering right now and can almost sympathise with Valerio’s shameless feelings. As if on cue – Val's voice emerges in the headset once the two men walk away to mingle. Though, voice might be an exaggeration; it’s more of a strained groan.

“Whyyy?!”

It is followed by Astra’s snicker: “Send big guy to Val next time, Red. But I’m not mopping the puddle that’s left after him, though.”

\--

The darkness has fallen outside the large windows, but the party is still going strong. The king seems to be in a deep conversation with the Tenebraen ambassador, which doesn’t surprise you, knowing that the Oracle, Lady Lunafreya, is a close acquaintance of the royal family. The presence of the ambassador is surprising nevertheless – ever since Niflheim’s invasion, the relations between Tenebrae and Lucis have in general been frosty. Seeing the king and the ambassador is a hopeful sight.

Similar, more or less intense, conversations are taking place all around the hall, and some are even dancing to the classical music being played on the grand piano.

Once or twice, you meet the emerald eyes of the adviser. You will soon be off your shift, and then...

“Lieutenant.” The profound voice of Gladio intrudes your thoughts and you can’t help slightly jumping when you find him next to you.

“Sir”, you nod in affirmation. The man grins and lowers his voice just a touch.

“I just wanted to make sure; there’s really nothing going on between you and blondie?”

Cocking an eyebrow, you look at him. “I assure you, there’s nothing. We’ve been training, mostly supervised by Marshal Leonis.”

Gladio nods in response and takes a step closer, putting an arm against the wall you’re stationed by.

“So, mind getting me a drink? Or even better – getting one with me.” Gladiolus leans forward; you suspect his bold behaviour to come from the late hour and possible digestion of liquid courage, though you doubt he actually needs it. Your suspicions are confirmed once he continues: “I think this party will be over soon. If you want to take this party elsewhere, I have some spare quarters in the Citadel.”

You think of Ignis, and how vastly different these two are, yet they are friends. Though missing Ignis’ smooth and gentle ways of swaying you, you push away those feelings and look the tall man graciously in the eyes and smile ever so amiably.

“Sorry Sir, I don’t believe it would be appropriate.”

The brunette scoffs lightly and his amber eyes wander over you, whatever good that does, seeing as you are fully uniformed. Maybe he has an active imagination. “Even the King is about to leave, and Noct will be Noct’out and in bed before long. Soon there won’t be anyone here left for you to guard.”

“You’re not going to see your prince safely home? Or is he staying in the Citadel tonight?” You throw said birthday boy an eye – he really looks spent, but happy, judging from the way he keeps sending his new car warm glances. Gladiolus frowns and then turn his head to call across the hall:

“Hey, Iggy!”

From the other side of the ballroom Ignis come walking, leaving the side of a surprised Prompto. The boyish man looks nervous without company and trots away to Noctis instead. Meanwhile, the adviser raises his eyebrows when he sees who Gladiolus is looming over. The knot in your stomach tightens at this, unsure where you stand with each other.

“Yes, Gladio?” The sharp-looking man doesn’t disclose anything with his face, and the Shield is still hovering close to you as he with brimming self-confidence answers his friend:

“Mind driving Noct home? Planned on buying this pretty soldier here a drink.” Then he quickly turns to you and compassionately adds: “If you want to, of course. It will be worth it, though.” And he winks.

Winks.

Ignis’ gaze wanders from his friend to you, and you assume that your face is painted with the mix of amusement and anxiousness you feel, because you see him relax when he meets your eyes. “Is that so? I was under the impression I was taking this lovely lady home tonight.” To both Gladio’s and your surprise, Ignis steps forward and offers you his arm. “I believe your shift ended ten minutes ago, dear. And though I admire your work ethics, may I ask that you indulge me with your company for a while?”

“I’d love to, Ignis”, you say softly and hook your arm in his. Leaving a dumbfounded Gladio behind, Ignis calls, almost smugly:

“I’ll meet up with you tomorrow then, Gladio.”

It makes the brunette laugh loud and heartily: “You better, Iggy. You fucking better.”

The adviser and you then quietly try to sneak off towards one of the personnel exits but are still seen by both the prince and his blonde friend who stare at the two of you as you pass on by. The cat is out of the bag it seems, and though Ignis sports a slight blush, he seems otherwise unconcerned with the looks from his friends. The knot in your stomach is slowly unravelling, feeling the familiar scent of him so close to you.

When you step out into the lush garden the air is chillier than earlier that day, gossiping about the incoming season change. As you walk around a corner, Ignis slows down, eventually coming to a stop by a large, hanging tree. You stand looking at each other, unknowing in what to say, yet certain in what you want to do. A hand gently cups your face, and, in silence, he leans down and presses his lips to yours. You eagerly meet his kiss and part your lips, an invitation Ignis is not tardy to accept. He tilts his head and you find your tongues in a gentle dance. As it grows in force, you push yourself closer, only to be grabbed by the waist and pulled flushed to the well-dressed man. You free yourself long enough to say:

“I’ve wanted this all night, I just kept looking at you.”

“Quite the same, dear”, he murmurs and pulls you back in a deeper kiss, before tracing kisses along your jaw until he seems to collect himself and lets go to just look at you. The uncertainty is clear in his eyes, maybe because you can feel it too.

“Sorry -”

“Forgive m-”

Both of you quiet and look at each other, a light blush dusting your cheeks. Ignis clears his throat. “May I begin?” You nod, and he dithers for a brief moment before continuing: “I wish to apologise for my behaviour that day. I confess that I did indeed avoid any interaction with my peers with you by my side, however”, he notices your frown and slightly open mouth, “however believe me when I tell you it was for the best of intentions. I merely did not want to put you in the spotlight without knowing you would be comfortable with it. I was afraid that the amount of attention would be daunting.”

He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the carefully managed hairdo. At this point, he does not seem to be bothered by it though. With a sigh, he continues: “And it is not only the attention of Noct and the rest of them, but Citadel staff, Crownsguard, Kingsglaive, tabloids. Even the King.”

“I’m sorry too. I should at least have heard you out. But in all fairness, the way you did it wasn’t very nice.”

“I can but concur”, he looks shily at you, and it invokes an urge to grab his head and kiss his forehead, as if to comfort him. Instead, you offer him your hand, and he takes it in an awkward handshake.

“A fresh start?” You smile, and he returns it.

“Fresh start”, he confirms. At his words, you stand on your toes and steal a kiss from him.

\--

You are grateful of the late hour when the elevator journeys up in the direction of the floor of Ignis’ apartment. The initial awkwardness is gone, and the man is at this moment feeling you up against the elevator wall. Strong hands are exploring within the spotless Kingsglaive uniform, while hot lips leave traces on your neck. When he bites down semi-hard, without breaking your skin, you let out a moan and try to push yourself closer to him. It earns you a deep chuckle before a throaty voice in your ear sends shivers down your spine.

“I have no wish you to keep you secret, nonetheless, tonight I hope you are but mine alone.”

Rather than giving any intelligible reply, you pull at his shirt, accidentally snapping off a button in the process.

A surprised Ignis glimpses at the damage before turning back to you. “Eager, are we?” His eyes are no longer the green oceans you can drown in, but dark pools for you to fall into, as an endless abyss. As the elevator chimes its tell-tale ring, followed by the smooth, cool voice announcing the floor, you push past Ignis. He follows, after swiftly picking up the runaway button. At his door, he is having a slight struggle getting the key into the door.

“For the…” he mutters when it slips from his hand onto the carpeted floor. Before he can bend to grab it, you are by his legs, catching the key. On your ascent, you let a hand glide up his leg all while keeping eye contact with the man. You caress his calf and unhurriedly travel up the thigh. Ignis’ lips are slightly parted when your digits only just touch where he wants you hand the most. Instead you trace it to his belt, where you finger on the leather fully standing. When you turn to unlock the door, you hear the metallic sound of him unbuckling the belt, and it has you smirking while trying to focus on the task at hand.

As soon as you’ve opened the door and stepped inside, Ignis is everywhere – in swift, determined motions he closes the door shut and has you pressed against it. He undoes the last buttons of his shirt before discarding both the it and the jacket. At the same time, you are tossing away your coat and kick off your boots. The now bare-chested strategist grabs you and has you straddling him while he pushes you into the door.

You lightly bite his lower lip while holding onto him, then you move to nibble the shell of his ear. Feeling him become fully erect under you, you whisper: “I’m yours to have.” A deep groan escapes Ignis and he rolls his hips into you, desperately wanting to feel more. The firm, cold surface of the door disappears as he carries you in the direction of the bedroom. While still in his arms, you finish undoing the finely ornamented vest that belongs to your uniform and reveal a grey t-shirt beneath. Just outside the bedroom, you drop to your feet and hook fingers at the hem of the shirt, quickly pulling it off and casting it aside in the hallway. Ignis’ shoes have also been discarded along the way, leaving an obvious trail from the front door across the entire apartment.

“I cannot assert I will last very long.” His voice is husky and dark, much like the apartment itself. Only a table lamp with dim light is lit and discernible by the window in the bedroom, the rest of the light is provided by whatever may reach the tall towers from the city below.

You undo his slacks and gives his chest a soft kiss before mumbling: “I don’t want perfect, I want you.”

He continues to work on his pants while you turn to walk to the bed, getting rid of the rest of your garments in the process. In the meantime, Ignis disappears into the nearby bathroom, likely to find a condom. When he emerges, you are lying on the bed stark naked, propped up on your elbows. By the sight of you, you can discern the unadulterated and raw lust in his eyes. At long last, Ignis looks like the 21-year-old man he is, and it stirs your insides that you’ve unravelled him like this.

As he slowly proceeds to the bed, your eyes wander lower – his agile hands are busy rolling the condom on the nearly excruciatingly hard member of his, and the sight has you biting your lip in anticipation. The bed shifts as he climbs on top of it, and he removes his glasses before returning his full attention to you.

Lying next to you, his lips crashes against yours. Hands are all over the place, feeling for places untouched for too long. He is hard against your abdomen, and you can’t resist the urge to stroke him, to feel him lightly jerk in your hand. It has him hitching his breath and he rests his temple against yours while you tighten your hold and move the hand up and down, along his member. The sound emanating from him is enthralling, so much that you don’t notice his own hand before it has already found the sweet bud of nerves between your slick folds. With a moan, your breath is fanning his parted lips – an invite he without difficulty agrees to take and captures your mouth with his own.

You feel close to exploding with lust; not necessarily as close to a climax as the wickedly handsome man next to you, but none of that matters. All you want is Ignis Scientia. Now.

The tactician notices your impatience and awards you a slight, semi-smug smile before rolling on top of you. Quivers travel down your exposed body, physically trembling with want. It takes but a slow push from Ignis to enter.

“So wet…”, he murmurs, intoxicated with pure desire. You roll your hips to have him deeper, and he slides in to the hilt, filling you entirely. Sandy coloured strands of hair are hanging over his eyes as he starts thrusting, and knowing he won’t last long, he takes hold of your legs. You throw them over his shoulders and waste no time, letting your fingers travel down to stimulate yourself – this man would come undone in front of you, with or without you, and you would do your damnedest to make it with.

Ignis lifts you slightly, angling your body to hit deeper and it has you nearly screaming. True to his word, he soon succumbs to the overwhelming pleasures and comes deep inside you to the sound of guttural moans.

With some disappointment you feel him pull out of you and quickly discard of the condom, but the annoyance is short-lived as the tall man slides down and a second later you feel his hot breath against your sex before a supple tongue starts licking fervently, replacing your own hand. Once he adds his fingers, you know you are done for, and bite down on your hand to stifle the luscious whines. Ignis slows down as you are coming down from the high, and once your breath is back to normal, he carefully pulls out.

Slow kisses are trailed along your body as he moves upwards, until he is back next to you, with arms and legs intertwined around one another.

“That’s one way to end summer", you breathe and kiss him. The fully relaxed man is making lazy patterns with his thumb into your hip while observing you softly.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

\--

“I’m really nervous”, you murmur where you stand next to Ignis in the elevator.

“Come now, there is no need to, you’ve already met him more than a few times.”

“Not like this, and you know it. I’ve only been standing guard, not actually talked to him. He’s not even aware on my existence.”

“Well, I’d say he is now, after the party the other day.”

“Hmph”, you snort, trying to release the apprehension as the two of you step out of the lift, walking down the corridor towards the flat you visited about a month ago. You can hear muffled music leaking from the other side of the door – something calm but with a distinct bass. Ignis gives the door a quick knock, before opening. No one seems to have seen you, so you soundlessly take of your shoes and walk towards the living room. In the sofa sits the Shield, next to him the over-enthusiastic blonde and the Prince himself is on the floor. You tug anxiously at your sleeve as Ignis and you emerge from the hallway.

“Hey, welcome to the party!” Gladio notices you and cheers as he lifts his glass of amber liquid. Noctis springs from the floor and you instantly bow, mostly out of habit. He shakes his head and shoots you a smile – there’s a hint of nervousness and curiosity in his deep blue eyes. You're glad you're not the only anxious person in the room.

“Hey, none of that, Iggy should really have told you.” He gives you his hand and you shake it. It is a bit calloused, like Ignis, but somewhat smaller in size.

“Oh, right”, you blush and return the grin. “Nice to meet you pri-”

“Noct.”

“Noct”, you repeat. It feels odd; a few days ago, you were guarding this now 20-year-old man, and now you’re invited to his home, as a guest. The fair-haired Prompto jumps from the couch and enthusiastically runs over to you. Apparently, the few sparring sessions between you are enough to skip past any formality by now, because he gives you a sincere hug.

“Tips for the future, Noct hates all the bowing and formality. It’s soooo nice to meet you!” He releases you and is grinning widely. “Iggy told us literally _nothing_ before Noct’s grand party. When we saw you walk out in the garden - and in the garden, we kinda spied - we were like ‘whaaaaat?!’” He laughs, and you notice Ignis cheek turning a darker shade of pink. “I want to know everything, ‘cause Iggy is the enigma himself.”

“That is quite enough, Prompto”, interjects Ignis and hands Noctis the gift he has prudently wrapped, then he walks over to the kitchen. A bit uncertain where to go, Prompto comes to the rescue.

“Come sit ‘ere with Gladio and me.” You end up sandwiched between the two, and Gladio turns to put an arm on the back of the sofa and look at you.

“How about we try this the proper way? Gladio”, he says with an amused grin and you introduce yourself again. “Sorry about the other day, it wasn’t my classiest act.”

You feel your cheeks turn just a tad pinker and shake your head. “It’s okay, just wasn’t expecting it.”

Gladio takes a sip and observes you. “Well, you’re in good company anyway. Iggy is the definition of a gentleman, no one’s better than him.” He sounds honest, and there’s a warmth to his words that soothes you.

From the floor originates a snort. “Gee, thanks for believing in the rest of us”, Noctis sulks while opening his present.

“Yeah!” Prompto chimes in, not completely aware of what he is supporting, because he has leapt from the couch yet again, this time to take pictures with his camera. Ignis walks over to you and hands you a drink, which you appreciatively accept. He chooses to sit down in an armchair next to Gladio.

“Thanks for the gift, by the way.” Noct is actually smiling as he reads the backside of the case. “There’s no way Specs picked this up, so I guess I have you to thank.” He looks up at you with genuine appreciation, and you return it with a smile.

“It was Ignis’ idea, but I got to choose the game.”

Feeling more relaxed, the room is soon filled with pleasant chitchats, sounds from the RPG as Noct insists on trying it out, Prompto’s and your supporting cheers and Gladio’s rumbling laughter.  

\--

Coming out from the bathroom, you are startled by Prompto waiting outside, and even more so when he quickly pulls you into the dark and still not fully clean bedchamber of His Videogame Playing Highness.

“What gives?!” you frown and fold your arms.

“Sorry, I just wanted to tell you… well…”, the poor boy stutters, trying to find the words. “Well, you’ve been so cool to me and I really want you know that what I said back then, during training, I still mean it.” Noting your confused look, he continues: “I admit I’m kinda surprised Iggy was the douchebag, and I get why you’d be reluctant to tell me, but I still hope you kick his ass if he ever is again, okay? ‘Cause I wanna keep my sparring buddy.”

“Oh”, you unfold your arms and soften the body language. “Of course, thank you, Prompto.”

“No sweat”, he says, firing off a smile as bright as a thousand suns. It almost stuns you, along with the rest of the impressions you’ve gathered this night. Hanging out with the Boy Band in Black has so far not been as dreadful as you feared; it has even been quite nice, reminding you a bit of the company of your friends. You are grateful of their quick acceptance, even though you are aware of the trouble it might cause with the Glaives. Interrupting your thoughts, you hear Prompto’s voice: “Let’s head back out before the guys think we’re up to something.”

You push aside your worries and quickly say: “That reminds me, mind sending me a pic next time you prank Ignis? He refused showing me the false eyelashes on the glasses.”

Giving a heartfelt laughter as you walk out of the room, he replies: “It’s a deal!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone still reading - thank you!
> 
> Wanted to end this chapter on a happier note than the last one (there will be plenty of sad moments in the future anyway), and since 25th Dec is my birthday, my gift to myself was time to finish writing this chapter.
> 
> This one might have been a bit lovey-dovey and cliché perhaps, but we all need those moments too.   
> Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, y'all <3


	11. All Good Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flies when you're having fun, and fun you've had. A lot. Nevertheless, all good things come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit intense chapter, a lot of things happening and too little beta-reading.

 

###  **M.E. 755, November**

 

“So…” Val sits down opposite of you, munching on an apple. “Whensha go’a intodush ush?”

“Hmph, maybe when you learn to not speak while you eat?” Crowe sharply elbows the younger one from where she sits next to him. The cafeteria is buzzing with life, being the highpoint of lunchtime. Outside, the grey November sky giving the city a semi-sombre atmosphere.

You shake your head and swallow the bite of potato in your mouth. “We’ll see, maybe this weekend? He’s been really busy lately.”

Val chugs down another bite and cheeringly say: “Wehey, does Lord Glasses have any preference for movie night?”

“Better tune it down”, Crowe nods to something behind you, and turning your head you see Libertus, Astra and Pelna come walking. “Though he might have a soft spot for me, I doubt even I can get ‘brother’ in a better mood if you talk about any of the nobles right now.”

You sigh inaudibly – ever since the Empire intensified their offensives, the mood had seriously dropped among the Glaives. And it had only become worse because of the rhetoric from certain parts of Insomnia.

A rather controversial interview had aired just some week ago, where a very influential nobility had said some disturbing, and well, outright revolting things about how the Galahds should do their duty and, if needed, sacrifice their lives since Insomnia took them in.

The noble had since been forced to resign from their post in the Citadel, apparently accompanied by a serious verbal whipping from the King himself. This has however not been enough to calm everyone among the Kingsglaive. Thus, speaking about Ignis and your deepening relationship was something best to do in closed company.

“Y’see, I’ve got this nifty thing called a brain”, Libertus snorts and laughs as he sits down together with the other two, apparently giving Pelna a salty retort for something they have been discussing.

“Coulda fooled me”, Pelna fires back and turns to Crowe. “Good thing you’re not _actually_ his little sister, would’ve been a pain to be related to him.”

Harsh words are exchanged, but there is a warmth to it nevertheless – you are all a kind of dysfunctional family, bonded through the different backgrounds and hardships that has led you to the Kingsglaive.

\--

The outdoor training arena, optimised for warp practise, is buzzing with life this afternoon. The commanders have been scheduling more training sessions as of late, a clear premonition by now: you will soon be sent beyond the wall again. How close to the front, you will not know until right before the mission. Your older peers, Nyx and the others, have been sent more often. The lunch you shared with Crowe and Libertus earlier was a welcome happenstance, as you’ve hardly seen them since September.

You look up from the platform you are standing on, mentally drawing a map of the series of movements you are about to complete. Then you send one of your daggers flying, feeling the bond between you and it strain, as if it is pulling you in its direction. In a bright flash, you are gone, moving through some otherworldly dimension you cannot fully comprehend, because it is all too fast to take it in; you just know it exists and are immensely thankful of being able to take part of this magic that the King has bestowed upon you and your comrades.

In a fraction of a second, the weapon is once more in your hand – or rather, you are summoned around its hilt. It is buried deep enough into the stone for you to hang on for a while, as you find another grip. For normal weapons, this would likely be the death of them after only a few throws, but these have been imbued with protective magic, making them far more durable than the regular ones. They can be thrown onto solid rock or metal without the fear of getting dull or break, as long as the magic is regularly performed upon them.

On your ascension up the tower, another glaive suddenly flashes by you, though slower. Another quick look and you realise he’s actually falling, and you are about to throw a dagger in his direction to try to make a catch when he manages to warp himself to safety. The flood of vomit following is evidence enough of what went wrong. As you warp another couple of floors up, you thank the Astrals for not being _that_ queasy.  

Safe and sound on top of the tower, you gaze down. It is nowhere near as tall as many of the buildings in the city, but high enough for a surge in your stomach. You are still more afraid than thrilled, but the experience is a necessity.

“Shiva, be with me”, you mumble softly. Swallowing hard you ready yourself, before taking the leap of faith. The air flying by makes you go deaf, so you have to rely solely on sight and sense of direction. Before gaining too much velocity, you fling your dagger towards the ground. At least that’s what you hope you’ve aimed for.

When you land, hard – but still on the feet – the adrenaline is causing your heart to beat like a deafening drum in your ears. It takes you a few seconds before you stand, and you look up to the top with a victorious grin. You waited than last time; this time you managed to get closer to the ground before warping to a safe place. Improvement has a sweet taste.

“Talon, get over here.” The busy voice of Titus Drautos manages to pierce through the drumming in your ears, and you quickly put away your weapon. Silently wondering whatever you might have done wrong, you hurry to the captain, who’s standing inside the building surrounding the tower.

“Yes, Sir?” You watch the man with red uniform, he is leaning over a table, seemingly taking care of urgent paperwork.

“You’re being promoted”, he speaks matter-of-factly and barely looks up from his papers. “From second to first lieutenant.”

“Thank you, sir”, you manage to say, mildly baffled. Your superior seems untouched, however.

“Don’t thank me. Those who stay alive rise through the ranks, that’s just how it is. So, don’t thank me, just make sure you don’t die instead.” The captain waves you away and you quietly return outdoor to the training area. The cold, grey weather matches your mood – yes, you’re being promoted, but at the cost of fallen comrades. That’s what Drautos is actually saying. The ones who survive, take the place of the dead. Being in the safety of Insomnia, it is easy to forget that Lucis is a country at war.

\--

“Shoot”, you mutter under your breath and hurry to the overflowing pot on the stove. Hurrying to turn down the heat, you try to save the situation best you can. Why was boiling pasta so difficult? As you continue to chop the tomatoes, you hear the door being unlocked in the hallway. You don’t look, but shout: “Dinner is soon done!”

You hear the person take of their shoes and hang their clothes on the racks, before quietly walking into the kitchen. Still not looking, you smile when you feel a hand stroke your back.

“Just some simple pasta with tomato sauce, I didn’t have the energy for anything more culinary. And the pantry was pretty empty too.”

“I harbour no doubts that it will be delicious”, says Ignis and walks to fetch an apron from the cupboard. You snicker at the sight; Astra and you own two aprons. You’re wearing a plain, purple one with white stripes. The one now protecting Ignis’ clothes is a bright red one with the text ‘Will cook for sex’. It is Astra’s, obviously. The first time he found it, Ignis’ face and ears had matched the red fabric, but now he wore it with pride, partly to tease the hell out of you.

“There’s not much for you to help with”, you smile as he starts working alongside you.

“Then how am I to earn any intimacy if I do not cook?” His amused look has you laughing, and you lean your head against his shoulder for a second.

“You’re shameless sometimes, y’know that?”

“Nonsense, I am the pinnacle of decency.” He takes the tomatoes, gives your temple a quick kiss in the process, and throw the red vegetables into the mix in the pan, carefully stirring. You watch him for a moment, taking in the sight of the tall, properly dressed man with the scandalous apron. He absentmindedly pushes his glasses up the nose while focusing on the pans and pots, planning the next steps like a true tactician. In your eyes, Ignis is a marvel. And he is yours.

Disrupting the tranquillity of the room, you suddenly walk over to the fridge. “Are you staying tonight?”

“If that is your wish, then I most willingly shall.”

At his answer, you take out a bottle of wine and hold it up for him to see.

“Then I think we should celebrate.” You smile mischievously as you fetch wine glasses, and Ignis raises his eyebrows.

“Oh? My curiosity is peaked.” He takes the glass and watches you pour the clear liquid. You raise your own glass in front of you.

“I’m being promoted to first lieutenant, the ceremony will be in a few weeks, as they welcome the new Glaives and Crownsguard.”

Ignis fires of a bright smile and clinks your glass. “Congratulations, love.” A warmth spreads at his words, increasing as he most fondly kisses you. “A well-deserved promotion, I’m sure of it.”

“I hope so, but it means more responsibility, especially of the newbies.” You take a small sip and smile at a sudden memory from the last away mission. “They call me Mama Red when they think I can’t hear.”

Ignis turns back to the pans, still smiling. “I’m not surprised, I’m certain you are a steadfast and considerate leader. Just like you will be…” He interrupts himself, suddenly somewhat flustered. He clears his throat, and you nudge his arm while the butterflies roam in your stomach.

“When I will be what?”

You doubt he considers this his most tactical move, but he falters and softly finishes the sentence: “ _If_ you ever wish to become a mother, I am convinced you will be remarkable.”

The topic is discussed no further, though it leaves you with both warm and feeling terrified. Being a parent is something you’ve hardly considered, you haven’t even been entirely sure you want to be, thinking of your own childhood. And the future is far too uncertain, seeing as you’re an active soldier.

But watching Ignis idly stroke your hand with his while he stirs the food, you permit yourself to engage in the notion, if just for a moment.

\--

A few days later, you meet Prompto just outside the sparring hall, walking into the room together. To your happy surprise, it isn’t empty.

Valerio’s concentrated expression turns bright at the sight of you two, and you see Prompto smiling tensely – it is clear to anyone that he doesn’t think he fits among the soldiers, that he’s still inferior to anyone.

Val lets the polearm in his hands fall to his side and greets you with a wide smile. You realise he’s not wearing glasses.

“Hey, trying a new look?” you grin and stand on your toes to poke him on the, now coverless, spot between his eyes. He brushes away your hand.

“Yeah, trying contacts instead. At the last mission I dropped a pair of glasses, so I figured I’d give it a go.” The tall blonde turns to the shorter one, enthusiastically presenting him his hand. “Hiya, I’m Valerio, Red said she’s been training with you lately.”

It takes Prompto a second to realise who ‘Red’ is, but then he beams and shakes Val’s hand. “Yeah, she’s been the best. Prompto, by the way, your friendly neighbourhood dweeb.”

“Dweebs are my kinda thing”, retorts Val and his eyes seems to be softly shimmering. Val let’s go of the other’s hand and shifts the polearm in hand. “Wanna practise some teamwork? I’m up if you want an opponent.”

You nod, giving Prompto an encouraging bump. “This is great, you and I can team up against Val.”

Despite his nervousness, Prompto actually seems rather eager and hurries to get his gun ready.

“Oh, you’re a sharpshooter, huh?” Val watches Prompto with true interest, swinging the javelin around, weighing it and finding the balance. “You going with daggers or the short sword, Red?”

“Sword this time, still need to polish some moves.” You head over to the cabinets with practise weapons and choose a wooden sword – it is a bit bulkier than you would’ve preferred, but it will do.

\--

After the session, you return the sword and polearm to their proper places. As you walk back, you watch Valerio and Prompto standing close together, hovering over Prompto’s camera. The latter had lost his stamina after half the time and decided to do some different shooting instead. The two blondes laugh at something, and the scene melts your heart – these two cinnamon rolls could make your teeth rot from sweetness.

“Damn, you’re good!” exclaims Valerio when Prompto flips to another picture, and the shorter one turns a happy red, appreciative of the compliment.

“Heh, yeah, I like it too”, he mutters smilingly. “Hey, Red, I took this of you when you did that awesome warp-move!”

Raising a brow at his use of your Glaive-nickname, you walk over and peer over his shoulder. There’s a picture of you as you emerge from a warp, flying through air, ready to strike. The blue light from the warp is giving the photo a serious intensity. Even you have to admit you look badass. 

“Wow, you really have a knack for this.” You pat his shoulder and look as he scrolls through the photos of Val and you. “Ever thought of going professional?”

“I dunno, maybe?” Prompto looks after you as you walk to your bag, followed by Val. “I’ve mostly been posting on social media instead. Haven’t been shooting people for very long, animals have always been funnier.”

“Oh, can I follow you?” Val fetches his phone and turns to Prompto. Meanwhile, you walk to look out of a window – it has started to snow outside. Knowing it will likely melt away in a day or two, you watch the large flakes in their slow descend.

Galahd will likely be even colder, and you make a mental note of packing extra wool socks for the next trip. No one has said anything, but it is in the air, everyone is just waiting for the order.

“Mind if I show Iggy this?” Prompto appears next to you and shows the camera. Puzzled, you throw the screen a look. You hadn’t heard the shutter, but there it is – you in profile, in the soft, silver light from the window which mingles with the warm, brown tones of the room. You look deep in thought, eyes somewhere far away from the room.

Val hovers over the two of you and gives your arm a gentle squeeze. “If you don’t, I will.”

You smirk and look up at the tall one. “Why not get a shot of yourself, for your boyfriend?”

His face turns a pleasant, happy pink, with shining caerulean eyes. “He’d love that! I mean, if that’s ok with you, Prompto? I’ll pay you of course.”

The shorter one snickers with light embarrassment from the sudden appreciation for his hobby. “Nah, don’t sweat it, I’ll gladly snap a few shots.”

“Great! I’ll just go and get my glasses, that gorgeous man says he likes me in them.”

\--

A week later, you are walking in the grey, rainy streets of central Insomnia. A storm is in approach, and you are grateful of the embracing warmth when you finally reach _The Usual Place._ By a corner table, Ignis stands up and helps you with your coat.

“Darling, I told you I could pick you up.”

You never cease to melt whenever he calls you sweet pet names with that accented, soft voice he uses when he does. “Pft, a little rain never killed nobody”, you reply with merriment. You are adamant that this will be a good moment, seeing as it is already as ruined as it can be. You have come here knowing the evening will be spoiled for him as well.

Noticing that Ignis has already ordered and that the food is sitting on the table, you seat yourself next to him, as opposed to in front of. Despite the sprightly attitude, you are actually freezing, and it is a perfect excuse to cuddle up close to him.

He nuzzles his nose and mouth into your hair, mumbling sweet nothings and puts an arm around you to keep you close. 

“Who knew the great chamberlain, Lord Ignis Scientia, to be such a softie”, you tease and take a cheese from the tray before you.

“Well, I haven’t seen you for days.” He gives your temple a kiss before turning to the food. “Council meetings have been more frequent, along with more unscheduled ones. In fact, I’d also argue that your schedule has been just as hectic.”

“Hm”, you chew a bit distractedly, considering his words. “We’ve been training more intense lately. Think it might be associated?”

Ignis gives you a hesitant look, furrowing his brows while eating. His entire body language screams of internal battles; this man of principles is contemplating something that has his foundations shaking, and it certainly peaks your interest.

Finally, he opens his mouth to speak, but lower and more careful: “Needless to say, I am in no position to reiterate what may or may not have been discussed during council meetings, nevertheless, from the sparse intel I’ve taken part in, it would seem that Niflheim has amplified their armed forces. Daemons have also been growing in numbers at a distressing rate. I cannot confirm anything else, though.”

Silent for a moment, you remember a conversation Tredd Furia and Luche Lazarus had had the other day, about rumours from within Niflheim. People were being infected with something. Something… was it plasmodia they had said? It turned them to daemons, according to Luche. Deliberately. You hadn’t wanted to believe them, but looking at Ignis, you start to fear the worst.

Clearing your throat, you turn to rest your head against Ignis’ shoulder while staring at the lit hearth further inside the pub. The mood is already grave, nonetheless there is no reason to delay the bad news. “I got new orders today.” You feel him stiffen beneath you. “We’re shipping out in a few days. I’ll be back in January, if everything goes as planned.”

“I see”, his voice is slightly more sombre, though it is hardly noticeable to anyone who hasn’t spent a longer amount of time with the man. He leans his head against yours, and you feel the shaved jaw against your temple. “We were aware that this would happen, yet I am loath to part from you for such time.”

“Me too”, you murmur, taking small bites of your food while you try to sink deeper into his hold.

“We will have to make the best of it”, says Ignis, trying to ease the mood, before pressing his lips to your hair for a prolonged moment. “Only... please come back to me, dear.”

In spite of knowing better than to give promises beyond your control, you look him in the eye and brushes his nose with yours. “Of course I will.”

\--

In the middle of December, a few weeks after your promotion and departure, your division has come to get used to the situation outside the wall. The calm outback easily fools you at first glance, but once you notice the deep scars in the landscape you understand the magnitude of the battles which have been taking place here, on the northwest border of Lucis.

The first day you had been split into teams of three; you are paired with Valerio and, to your delight, Tobul, while Astra gets to work with Luche and Pelna. Everyone has been brought up to date with the situation at the border – the Nifs have been intensifying their offensive and you are here to temporarily assist and strengthen the forces.

So far, the encounters with the enemies have been harsh, but manageable. At night, when you all sit around a campfire, you listen to the low conversations around you, interrupted by the occasional cry of an animal or a daemon in the distance. The runes and lights should keep you safe from them, but it also makes you an easier target for the Imperial troops.

This night, Astra has just finished a snogging session with Axis over by one of the tents and slides casually down next to you with rosy cheeks.

“Heard anything from your Lord?”

“We texted each other earlier today, before we arrived here, and I think he’s asleep by now. Difficult to actually keep contact when the reception is this dodgy.” You take a spoon of the soup you’ve been served, silently wincing at the taste and wishing it was Ignis’ cooking instead. “Had a good time with Axis?”

“Always”, Astra smiles and draw circles on the ground with a stick. “I mean... I think I like him. Like, _really_ like him. We had our hiccups, but he’s been much kinder lately.”

“Yeah, you haven’t brought anyone else home since you began seeing him.” You can’t really comprehend what it is she sees in the man but refuse to judge her. If Astra is happy, then so are you. She has been soberer recently, though you still have your reservations about the man and his intentions. Better to keep him close than to not be able of keeping an eye on him, you reason.

Astra lights up and spin her head around to meet your eyes; hers hold a dangerous glow in the light of the fire. “You could sext Iggy now that you’ll be gone for a while!”

You laugh and sceptically raise your brows. “We’ve gone longer than that not seeing each other.” You then pull up your knees and hug them. “Besides, I don’t think he’s into that.”

“You mean you haven’t tried yet?” It is Astra’s turn to look unconvinced and you just roll your shoulders.

“Well, I mean... he doesn’t strike you as the man who enjoys writing dirty stuff, right?”

“Hm, maybe not...” Astra gives you a look and then starts writing something on her phone.

“I would probably just scare him away. He would think I’m some sort of nymphomaniac”, you continue.

“What _would_ you like to write him if you could?”

“I suppose I would tell him... that I miss his...”

“Not his food.” Astra interrupts and you roll your eyes at her.

“Fine. I want his strong hands to touch me.” You hide your face in your knees. “I might be worse at this than he would be.”

“Hm, nothing a bit of practice won’t fix. Go on.”

“Ugh, do I have to?”

“Only if you wish to reply lover boy.” You look up at Astra’s grinning face with confusion, realising that the phone she now is handing you, the one she has been writing on, is yours.

“You. Did. NOT.” You immediately take the phone from her and stare at the screen.

**_You_ **

_I’m lying in my tent atm, but when I close my eyes all I feel is your strong hands on my body. Can you feel it? How your hands slowly move from my face, my neck and down to my chest. Your hands touching slowly hardening nipples, your mouth marking my neck._

You put a hand over your mouth – Ignis must know this isn’t you. Apparently, Astra has been holding on to your phone long enough for the man to reply.

**_Ignis_ **

_I must confess, I’m caught a bit off-guard by your message, however… were I able, my hands would caress the side of you, fingers travelling lightly on your ribcage, just barely touching your breast. As I kiss and nip at your throat, I will be rewarded by your delicious moans, which soon shall turn into melodic pleas as you crave more._

Astra clears her throat and cocks an eyebrow. “I’d say he’s got a way with words.” You’re not sure if you want to kill her or not, your chest burning for various reasons.

**_You_ **

_I’m sorry, Astra stole my phone, she thought we should sext each other and sent you the message before. I’m so, so sorry. And a bit turned on. Actually, a lot._

**_Ignis_ **

_Ah, I suspected as much, but it was hard to pass given the chance._

**_You_ **

_So… is me begging you for more enough to have you keep going?_

**_Ignis_ **

_Then I will most definitely need to seclude myself from the rest of the party._

_Give me a minute, dear._

Your heart beats hard in your chest and you give Astra a quick look before you’re on your feet, heading straight to the tent.

\--

“Looking pretty damn smug, Red”, snickers Val as the groups hike up the snow-covered hills. Astra laughs from behind.

“She’s been re-reading the convos between her Lord and herself this last week.”

Red-faced, you bite back: “Well, as soon as we’re joined up with Axis’ group I bet you’ll be back in his tent again.”

Even Tobul and Pelna laugh at your friendly banter. Luche stays quiet however, acting as if he is not listening. You bet he’d rather be grouped with Tredd and Axis.

Pulling the scarf and hood tighter around you, you shiver somewhat in the cold. According to reports, the winter had come quite early to Galahd this year, and as the sun now is well into its golden hour, Astra’s and your groups are in-between havens. The mission today had been to eliminate a smaller troupe of infantry in the eastern areas. It had been a success, but also extended due to unforeseen enemy backup in the shape of some nasty daemons.

Val walks up next to you, offering you a piece of chocolate he’s been saving. “Sorry for earlier, I’m just jealous.”

“Why?” You fumble with the sweet with your gloves.

Valerio shrugs, but smiles underneath his hood. “My boy’s in Altissia right now, and there’s just not been any time to write. Especially not now, when the reception is zero.” He fires of an exceptionally warm grin, enough to pierce your bones. “But y’know what? I’m gonna propose to that adoring dork one day.”

You laugh lightly. “Is that so?”

He nods with determination. “Yeah, I have it all planned out.” The snow is muting your footsteps, and now that the last strip of light has descended beneath the horizon, the stars are making their way out of the darkness.

The soft surface has been doing a great job of concealing your presence, unfortunately it seems to have done the same for your enemies. Through trees to your left, you see the unmistakeable eyes of magitek troopers.

“MTs nine o’clock”, hisses Pelna and throws himself behind a rock. The rest of you follow suit, taking cover while the machines march closer. They have yet to sprint. As subtly as possible, you all summon and prepare your weapons.

Luche throws you all a glance and motions, Tobul nods and prepares for a distraction. Silently counting in, both groups are ready when he hurls the flask of potent fire magic towards the troopers. Simultaneously, Val and you warp to the right flank. Your linked moves remind you of dancing, though more brutal.

“Better take care of this quickly Red”, laughs Val after taking down an axeman. “You’re gonna be my best man, after all!”

The cheerfulness gets caught in his throat though, as an atrocious sound wave hits you all, making it difficult to orientate. Before you, you see a dark, grey and blueish bipedal creature emerge from the fires.

“IT’S A ZIGGURAT”, you hear Astra scream from behind you. “RUN.”

It is all done in seconds - you watch the daemon raise its sickle-like arms and, while still covering your ears, you watch it move with dangerous speed, slicing its prey efficiently. Valerio’s hood is falling, revealing the still smiling face beneath. There is raw fear in his cobalt eyes as his abdomen is cut open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it all the way here! I will eventually take time to clean up the chapters more properly, I am aware of mistakes and such, but I'm just so eager to post these so some of the grammar check might be overlooked from time to time. 
> 
> The drama shall ensue in the next chapter. Till then, thank you so much for reading. And the comments I've recieved are truly encouraging. <3


	12. Say Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loss either tears people apart, or weld them closer together.

###  **M.E. 755, December**

“Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. Val, not now, come on!” Of course, you know, somewhere inside, that it is pointless. That it is too late. The blood is all over the place. Intestines as well. You start emptying your arsenal of remedies; potions, elixirs. Even that rare phoenix down, which is meant for pulling you from the brink of death. It glows in your hands for a moment, and then evaporates into thin air. Valerio is lying before you, still lifeless.  

You don’t want to see the detached arm lying five meters away. Or the still gushing wound where his abdomen once used to be, now threatening to separate his torso from the legs.

In the distance, you perceive something resembling your name, but you filter it under the category of trivial things. You don’t even notice when Tobul shields you from the Ziggurat, or when backup finally arrives. 

\--

The only thing you seem to register is when the sun starts rising. Staring around, you find yourself covered in blankets, sitting by a small fireplace. You’re at the haven, the one your group was heading for. You close your eyes and breathe the cold air while cherishing the warmth of the sun caressing the face.

“Hey”, a soft voice wakes you. Nyx is hunching in front of you, peering searchingly into your eyes. “You there, Red?”

Smacking your lips, you feel the desert that is your mouth. Raspy voiced, you try to sound comprehensible: “I had the worst nightmare ever.”

Nyx keeps on watching you, handing you a bottle of water. 

“Red”, he sounds wary. “Where are you right now? Do you remember anything?”

Blood turning to ice in your veins, you shift where you sit – instantly gasping at the sharp pain in your shoulder. It burns, white and hot. Like fire. Like the fire the shadow emerged from.

You forget how to breathe, a quiet cry escaping your throat until there’s no more air to fuel it. Nyx strokes the back of your hands with firm thumbs, while saying something inaudible. A pair of strong arms takes an almost violent grip around you, and you fight to break free. A small flash of light, and then everything goes dark.

\--

You try to wet your lips, but the tongue is sandpaper against them. A wound to the upper lip makes you flinch, letting out a gruff grunt that sounds nothing like you. It’s enough to evoke the attention from your superior comrade.

“You’ve been unresponsive for fifteen hours.” Nyx is speaking in a low and soft tone, something you’re thankful of as your entire world rocks in time with his steps.

“H-how’s Astra?” You barely recognise the hoarse voice of yourself. Carefully, you try to sink deeper into the warm fur blankets surrounding you on the stretcher. 

“No good, but not as bad as you. She can at least walk on her own.” He gives you a quick onceover, before catching you up to the most essential information about your state of health. One of your feet has a minor sprain, but you being carried in the stretcher is mostly due to you being unconscious, and because of the deep slash in your shoulder, close to the neck. One of the more medically trained Glaives fears it might be poisoned, thus not wanting to risk you moving and therefore spreading the toxin faster. 

Drowsily, you look at Nyx’ determined expression, grateful of his safe presence. On your other side is Pelna. He has small scratches on his face but seems okay otherwise. By your feet are two of the newbies. Further away, you can hear the quiet voice of Tobul; he is carrying someone else. The remains of Valerio.

Your stupid, happy, life-loving Val.

“Did anyone else…” Finishing the sentence is impossible; you don’t want to taste the word in your mouth.

Nyx nods and concentrates on the road ahead with a grim look. “Two more, Jenica and Gutsco. We succeeded to retrieve Val and Gutsco. Another group is heading out tomorrow to try to get Jen. The Ziggurat was eventually… dealt with.”

The rest of the trek to the extraction point is mostly silent, and you’re thankful of drifting in and out of consciousness. 

\--

“Hey.” Astra slowly sneaks into the tent, sliding down next to your cot. She places a bag on the covered floor.

“Hey”, you echo. Her typically flaming hair is dull and wispy; unwashed and unbrushed. Much like her face. “You look like shit.”

The small chortle she lets out makes the fox on her face move. “Yeah, you too.” There’s a long moment of silence before she speaks again. “They’re shipping us back home tonight.”

“Decommissioned?” You frown.

“No, just recovery. Drautos said something about tougher times ahead.” 

You watch her. “Are you still in?”

She bites the inside of her cheek, though does not really seem to be considering any options. “Yeah, I’m still in.” Her amber eyes turn to you, scrutinizing your grimacing face. “Not getting anything stronger for the pain?” 

When you try to shake your head, you wince, the pain reminding you not to move. “Basic potions, mostly.”

Astra snorts and throws a look towards the opening of the tent before pulling her bag up on her lap. She quickly fishes for a colourful bottle, holding it to the light. “Brought these.”

“Astra...”  

Not listening, she moves over to you, carefully lifting to have your back lean against her chest in a half-sitting position on the cot. “You’re in pain, Red, and I’m not just talking about the shoulder. Trust me, this will help with it. With  _all_  the pain.” 

Another moment of silence, breathing together. 

“Sure you don’t want one?” 

You stare at the petit bottle, fully aware of its potent. Screw it. You carefully take the flask with your healthy arm and break it, ingesting its content in one breath. This has to be some kind of off the market product - it bleeds into your system awfully fast and your veins feel as if they are boiling, all while your mind enters a foggy haze. You grow numb, and for the moment that is utter bliss – to not feel anything. 

You lean down into Astra’s open arms, snuggling close and letting you mind float away, imagining the moving, starry sky beyond the ceiling of the tent.

\--

A few days after the New Year’s celebrations, you are finally back in Insomnia, several weeks before your original date. The doctors have signed you off for the rest of the month, and instead put you on a thorough recovery schedule. 

Mentioned schedule is something Ignis seems to take very seriously, seeing as he’s somehow gotten his hands on it. You assume things like that come easy to him; getting information from wherever he wants. It’s makes you slightly uneasy. 

You sit quiet in his car, not keen on breaking the silence. Ignis has insisted on helping you during the visit at the physiotherapist, your third so far, making sure to take notes to make the most of helping you. 

The big city is snowy and cold, the rays from the sun playing on the decorations everywhere. On the roof of a bus stop you see a Moogle-figure wearing a large snowflake instead of its trademark red ball. 

You usually love the winter festivals but couldn’t care less right now. The sound barrier which the snow creates is more unnerving than anything, reminding you of the perfect silence before the Ziggurat struck. Memories you wish to bleach into nothing.

The festive feeling from past years’ winter carnivals is as absent as Valerio is. It had been his favourite time of year too, adding to the sadness. 

The deafening silence is disturbed by some incomprehensible, muffled mumble. Turning, you realise Ignis is talking to you. 

“Is something the matter, dear?” He must know it is an absurd question, yet he asks. You give him a hollow look and try to simulate a smile, knowing he is trying to balance being caring without smothering you too much. 

“It’s ok, just a bit sore after the therapy.” You stare outside again, chewing lightly on your lip. The reality is that you feel like hiding, from everything and everyone. And why not? “Actually, would you mind driving me home? I’m feeling a bit too exhausted to spend the night.”

You don’t need to look to know that there’s concern plastered on his face. You don’t want to look. You’re still alive, Val is the one to be concerned about, he’s the one who will be six feet under in a few days.

\--

**_Prompto_ **

_Hey,_ _Im_ _here if_ _ya_ _wanna_ _talk or just punch_ _something._

\--

The pain in the shoulder has been getting a lot better; the healers of Insomnia are something else after all. Though obviously not on par with the healing capabilities of the Oracle. 

The agony inside you is another story entirely. 

You’ve barely said goodbye to Ignis before you rush across the living room, into Astra’s room. You rummage through her things, not even bothering to cover your tracks. The tears are burning behind your eyes while your breath has been caught in your lungs, making it impossible to acquire the oxygen your body desperately needs. A strained sob passes your throat and you stare wildly around you.

“Bottom drawer, the dresser in the walk in.” Astra’s sudden voice is soft when it comes floating from where she has emerged by the open door. You throw her a glance – her eyes are red from crying, much like yours been for days. Nodding almost invisibly, you walk over to the closet and step inside, immediately dropping to your knees by the dresser inside. Hidden away among lingerie, you find the substances you’re looking for. The small, colourful bottle easily dissolves in your hands when you crush it.

You sit there, among her clothes, staring at her.

“I hate this.” 

“I know.” Astra sits down next to you. “I’m going back next as soon as I can. Axis is still out there, and Tobul. And I need to do...  _something_.” 

The resignation is not lost on you, despite the world turning into a blur.  

“I am not afraid of fighting”, you mumble, hiding your face by curling up to a ball. “I’m not afraid of dying either.”

“It’s just sucks so fucking much when everybody else dies”, finishes Astra and joins you in the mist of dulled senses.

\--

The next morning you find yourself in the safety of Ignis’ home. It’s a weekend, and to much surprise, Ignis is actually not drowning in work for once. You don’t question it, merely enjoying the presence of him. But you do notice the look in his face – he looks more tired than you have seen him be before. Not that it stops him from being as chivalrous as ever. 

“Here.” Ignis holds out a cup of tea, and you take it with a frown where you sit sunken down in his plush armchair. 

“Thanks, Ignis. No coffee?” You notice his cup. It is lacking the usual dark, rich liquid.

“Ah, no.” The tall man sits down on the couch, crossing one leg over of the other. “I read the prescriptions you’ve been given; a large amount of caffeine could give some side-effects. For the sake of comradery, I thought I’d avoid the coffee as well.”

“Oh”, you sip the tea, looking down into the cup. There’s a sting of annoyance, despite the caring gesture. A sting that tears in you. “Thank you.” 

There is a moment of silence before Ignis carefully clears his throat, causing you to flinch ever so slightly in your seat. 

“I…”, he takes another sip while choosing his words. Opening his mouth again, an electronic ring is emitted from him. Frustrated by the distraction, he gets the phone from the inside of his jacket.  With a deep sigh he gives you a concerned look. “Unfortunately, I need to leave.” 

You just nod and try to wave away his worries. “Go take care of Noct, I’ll be fine. I have the key, I... I need to pick up some flowers later.”

Ignis stands up to walk over to the armchair and leans down to press a lingering kiss on your forehead. A kiss dense of emotions, causing you to shudder mildly. “I believe the rosary by the university have a wide range of floral choices, do you wish to meet there later?”

“Sure”, you mumble, giving him a faint smile before he leaves. 

As the door closes, you lean your head back against the chair. As if Ignis’ presence has been anchoring you to security, it slackens it grip of you, leaving you free to drift back to despair. Part of your head, the same side as your shoulder wound, feels as if it about to explode. The agony washes over you, spreading. The healers had said you might experience physical symptoms from the emotional distress that would indubitably cultivate itself within you. A fragmented whimper leaves you and you claw at your arms, creating red gorges to run along each other. 

Shaking, the entire body is in tremors by now. The aura around you is intensifying. In spite of just sitting there, your heart is racing, threatening to escape your ribcage any second. As you stand and walk across the living-room, you cannot discern if you are floating or dragging yourself over the floor. Futile qualms. You hand hugs the carefully designed bottle you’ve concealed in your overnight bag. 

Just one more.

\-- 

The cold, misty weather is making most Insomnians to choose the warmth of their homes this afternoon, but you find the rosary comfortable thanks to its climate control. You are not entirely sure how you managed to make it to the university garden, seeing as the world still is a blur to you. The quality of the off-market potions must be diffing; you had anticipated being sober by now, but the flask was clearly more potent than the last one.

The heart grows heavy when you see Ignis enter, brushing off some snow from his shoulders. He is wearing a dark coat, accented by a scarf in a modest lavender shade. If you’d had some better judgement, maybe you would have called this off, but you need the flowers. 

“Hello, dear. I hope your day hasn’t been all too tedious being at my place.” He gives you a quick, earnest kiss. There is a domestic pleasantness to it, as if he anticipates giving you kisses for a long time still. A future you have started to question.

Anxious, you take a step away, trying to avoid his touch as he is about to sneak an arm around your waist. A common motion he has done so many times by now. A small sign of tenderness, like anyone would expect. You are a couple after all.

“Sorry, just… tried to do some… what is it called? Exercises! Earlier. Shoulder is acting up”, you hurry to say as he watches you with nearly veiled surprise. “I’ve already, um, picked out some roses. The nice guy at the…” You wave in the general direction of the helpdesk and look away when Ignis’ eyes meet yours. “They said the bouquet would be done in a while.” 

The two of you walk further down the rosary, in silence now, though not the relaxed one you’ve grown accustomed to – the one embedding the both of you when he is working from home and you are resting with your head in his lap while reading one of his many books. This stillness is thick and hard, ostensibly impervious. At least for you.

Ignis stops by a large bush; the butterfly rose. The one who won him the chance to cook for you half a year ago. Feels more like half a lifetime. It looks as if it is hibernating.

“Be sincere with me.” 

You can’t make out if there is an undertone in his voice, and you’re not answering. Your tongue feels glued to the palate - he knows. Ignis turns to you after giving the surroundings a quick look, making sure you are alone.

“You are under the influence.” His tone is sharp, and you notice the small scowl in his face. Next, his hand is holding your jaw firmly locked as he searches your eyes. It hurts a little when you instinctively try to pull back. “It’s far more than alcohol, isn’t it?”

When you don’t answer, his expression turns softer. “Are you trying to commit suicide?”

“Don’t jump to such weak conclusions, it’s not befitting you”, you mumble and break free of his hold.

This seems to aggravate him, making him practically spit out the following sentence. “Just how could you be so reckless? In public no less.” There’s a darkness in his eyes you haven’t seen before, and it scares you.

“So what?! Afraid someone might see you with me?”, you finally snap at him, unnecessarily harsh. It makes him flinch ever so slightly. “It’s not like it will kill me. The Niffs and their daemons will take care of that. Don’t worry, I will make sure to die in duty, protecting your precious prince, whether I’m influenced by potions or not. Stop prying into every little thing I do.”

“I can’t believe this”, he sighs and pinches his nose, letting the glasses slide up a bit as he does. “I took you for a far more mature and accountable person than this. It is sickening.”

His words hurt. A lot. But not as much as the awareness that his thoughts of you have changed. You  _are_  a responsible adult, but why can’t you make mistakes too? Why can’t you be allowed to just be numb for just a while? You don’t even have the decency to be properly ashamed by your behaviour – it simply pains you too much. Too much to even shut up.

“No, your sweet, sugary act is what’s sickening. It’s not  _me_  who should be pitied, feel sorry for those who won’t come back.” The anger is seething inside you and you wait for him to retort, but Ignis stays quiet for the time being. It is easier to bite back if he speaks, you can’t handle the silence, thus deciding it is better to leave. You thrust past him, only to be seized and hold back. 

“Wai-”

But you’re not waiting, you’re tired of him butting in everywhere, tired of that sad, sympathetic look in his face. You pull away your arm so fast it leaves Ignis looking at you in surprise. Through the haze, you feel the slight panic rising in your chest, almost fearing that you will get slapped any second, but you subdue it. With scolding rage. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” The words come out as sharp, stabbing daggers. “If you ever…”

As tears start to burn behind your eyes, you hurry away, out of the rosary and as far away from the gardens as you can. You aren’t able to see his face before you leave. Or maybe you are, but the influence you are under makes it blurry and incomprehensible to you.

_\--_

**_Prompto_ **

_I used that move you showed me against Noct today. Totally worked! Btw,_ _Gladio is using me as a punching bag. I miss_ _ya_ _._

\--

**_Astra_ **

_Going out_ _tnite_ _, care to join? Gang’s_ _gonna_ _be there. Need to get wasted before the funeral._

\--

**_Nyx_ **

_Tell me if you wa_ _nt me to pick you up_ _before the funeral_ _tomorrow_ _._

\--

**_Ignis_ **

_We need to have a discussion._

\--

The early Sunday morning is greyish and leaves the streets almost barren. The train is quiet. It is as if the entire city is in mourning, yet barely anyone knows that there is to be a final farewell of the brave soldiers who perished while protecting their prised Crown City. 

The morning personnel in the Citadel haven’t even begun their shift yet; the night staff looking done and homesick. You avoid contact with the Glaives on patrol. So far, only Astra, Nyx and Crowe have been your tap on what’s going on inside the Kingsglaive. Tobul never left the field, Astra is back on patrolling duty until she get’s cleared for battle. Nyx and Crowe are trying make the newbies keep their shit together. 

You want the long corridor to keep on forever, but eventually you are standing outside his door. There is a hope inside you; that you are early enough that he hasn’t left yet; that he is not there, and you do not have to meet him.

A soft knock. A moment of waiting. Muffled steps from the other side.

The Ignis who answers the door looks noticeably rougher than usual, seeing as he is always in such an impeccable state otherwise. Hair undone, black sweatpants with the Crownsguard’s insignia. The skull necklace is gently dangling by his collarbones, flanked by the open halves of his white shirt.

“Please.” His voice is calm and steady as he invites you in. You enter the hallway, but do not proceed from there.

“I’m just here to give back the key”, you say, as squarely and determined as you can. You will give him no allowance to break your walls.

Ignis does not seem surprised, but he does not hide the disappointment. He disappears down to the kitchen and shortly returns – a large bouquet of yellow roses in hand. 

“You forgot this yesterday”, he hands it to you. After watching you a moment, he leans back against the wall with a heavy sigh. “The other day, when Noctis messaged me… I was considering asking you to move in with me, at least for the time being. Until you had recovered.” 

Frowning, you measure the sincerity to his words. Pointlessly of course, Ignis strives to always speak the truth. However, you cannot stop wondering why.

“We only met six months ago.”

“Well, we really met some five years ago.” A little smirk, trying to ease the mood, but you are not biting this time.

“You know what I mean.” You force yourself to meet his eyes; those green pools of certain destruction if you do not take action. “Why?”

The words are there, nevertheless neither of you can utter them. It would not feel genuine by now, as if only desperately purchasing time. If he says them, you might not be able to go through with this. If you pour out your feelings, you will only end up hurting him more than necessary. 

Ignis tilts his head ever so slightly, not breaking eye-contact. “Does it really need saying?”

“Actually, no.” You cannot do this, starting to waver. He seems reluctant to take the key, so you put it on the small table in the hallway before turning to the door. “I should g-”

“Please, can we talk at least? Or are you to storm off much like you have done in the past?” Hand on the handle, you turn your head to watch him. He is scowling, wearing an expression set between sorrow and frustration. “Because, frankly, I might not wait this time.” 

“I don’t expect you to.” 

There is silence. You want to tell him so much. About how you feel like dying, that you want to abandon the city and run, that despite this you’ve thrown away the remaining potions you had in your possession, along with Astra’s stash. They were never meant as a permanent solution anyway, but it does not matter right now.

And most of all, you want to tell him how much you love him. But every time you are about to whisper them, you see his cold, dead body in front of you, and it is too much to bear. 

“Is this some kind of misguided self-pity?” His eyes have grown hard again, searching your face for explanations you cannot fully give. 

“We need to end this. I wish you all the best Ignis. I truly do.” You fight back the tears by biting your lip, adamant on not turning away your gaze from his, to give an appearance of resolve which you do not really possess. The tight grip of the bouquet in your hand turns your knuckles white.

The frown between his brows grow deeper. “How can you say that?” His voice is low now. “Did these past months mean nothing?”

You grip of the handle loosens and you turn fully to face him. “We are on a one-way trip to devastation don’t you realize that? Valerio was a brother to me, losing him... losing you…” The last flicker of light in your eyes vanishes as you recall the scenes back on the border. “There is no point to this.”

_I will die. Or you might, and I won’t know what to do since I’m still learning what this even is._ Thoughts are rummaging, but you stay quiet. 

“I may not have lost someone as close as a sibling... but I have lost my parents. And your excuse is just not good enough.” Ignis’ jaw is clenched in a way you haven’t witnessed before. “We’ve been aware of this since the very beginning. We’re soldiers, servants of a kingdom at war.”

“Yeah, that’s my point! We should’ve known better.” You pray your voice will not betray you before you leave. “You’re too important, you’ll be amongst the last to throw your life away. You’re a future council member, the right hand of the heir apparent. Please, find someone worthy of your stature, and I’ll try to make sure this world doesn’t crumble.”

As his face softens you feel the tears burn and you have to turn away to hide it, though in vain and you know it. How is it possible to feel so dead inside and still be in excruciating pain? The lump in your throat grows thick and you can’t speak in this state, not without crumbling. 

“You’re not willing to give this a chance, are you?”

Reaching for the handle again, you decide to get it over with. “I have some funerals to prepare for. I… goodbye Ignis. It’s over.”

You close the door to his quarters behind you, turning around almost running out of there. You don’t care to wait for the elevators, afraid that he will follow, afraid that you will regret your decision. You open the door to the stairwell and throw yourself down. People you meet have to quickly get out of your way, and some are shouting some well-chosen words after you, but you only stop running once you’re down the countless floors. Your chest hurts badly, if it is from grief or flight you do not know, it does not matter anymore.

And he does not follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't meant to be such a downer, but sometimes the story just goes where it wants to. Might end up in more chapters, instead of writing monster chapters (was about to be like 20 pages before I shortened it). More worries and angst next time, before eventually lighting up. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, it really warms my heart. <3 
> 
> (Will go through it more thoroughly later on, felt I just needed to throw it out now.)


	13. Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seemingly falling apart is no reason to stop this one-way trip to an uncertain future. You make your confrontations, some willingly, others less so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-pity, grief and minor fluffiness.

 

###  **M.E. 756, January**

 

The funeral is a sad affair, much like it ought to be. Valerio’s family has chosen a chapel far away from the Citadel, closer to the walls surrounding the city. The graveyard is enclosed by usually lush, green trees, which are grey and barren now. It is a tranquil place, far from the ever-buzzing sounds of the city centre. The move of location had been one of the reasons the burial had been postponed; Jenica and Gutsco already resting closer to the Citadel, by the graveyard for fallen soldiers.

The chapel is astonishingly full. Not that Valerio was not loved, but he mostly seemed to hang out with Astra and you. Many are family; his mother and father, cousins from all over Insomnia, aunts and uncles. A very old great-great grandmother. And you recognise some of his ex-boyfriends drying each other’s eyes – the love for Val washes away any possible jealousy among the gathered, much like when he was alive.

That was one of the many things you loved about him; he was so overly optimistic and loving that it was easy to take him for being naïve. But he was really only trying to spread happiness and comfort wherever he went, believing the world would be a better place if he fought for it in all ways he knew how.

As if it is not sad enough already, you are close to completely losing it when you see Val’s boyfriend sobbing in the arms of Val’s mother. The beautiful young man seems completely enveloped in genuine sadness. You wonder if he knew Valerio considered proposing to him. Or if he got the photo Prom shot of Val. You hope he did, or you will make sure to mail it someday.

The latter question is answered when you walk up to Valerio’s white casket - by it you notice a large flower arrangement next to an impressive, soft photo of said man, signed: _Prompto, with friends_. It is likely Ignis’ idea but it was wise putting Prompto’s name on it. The attitude against the nobility has only been getting worse. The decoration is beautiful, but it stings your heart.

You pass by Astra, who stubbornly stares past you. Before leaving for the funeral, she had yelled her lungs out when she realised all the black-market potions were gone. You are not ashamed of what you did, those things only brought pain. But you feel so alone. Tobul is still in the field, ever the constant warrior. Astra refuses to speak to you. The quartet seems a distant memory now.

Nyx motions to you that he and Libertus are going to the car, and you nod; you only need one more moment.

Tightening your red coat around your body, you take a few steps closer to the grave. A sign where his gravestone will be placed, with the name _Valerio Berin, M.E. 734 – M.E. 755_ , scribbled onto it. In all its simplicity, you know it will be nice – his grave is placed close to a tree which will be in full bloom by May. 

“Goodbye, my friend”, you whisper and kneel, tenderly stroking the letters of his name, brushing away some snow in the process. “Have a rest, because when I join you in the beyond you will have needed it.”

You blow him a kiss while heading to the parking lot.

\--

Face buried in a pillow, you scream your lungs sore; you have not used the illegal potions long enough to imbed a proper addiction, but the withdrawal is hell anyway.

Especially alone.

The head is pulsating with pain, causing your vision to explode in colours and flashes. If anything, it makes you glad you are not otherwise prone to migraines. You claw at your head, pulling your hair to desperately ease the pressure. Having already tried hot showers, dark room rest, fresh air, you have … to just lie in the bed for now; you refuse you use any painkilling medication, not even the prescribed ones. You put yourself in this position, only sensible you hurt too.

\--

A Monday morning, a week later, you are finally summoned to the Kingsglaive’s quarters. The Niffs seem to have eased their assaults, for the time being, considering you meet several of the senior officers. Some of the junior ones come up to exchange platitudes; it normally warms your heart, but right now you only wish to push through.

Drautos looks up when you enter his office, giving you a hard onceover.

“You’ve looked better, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, Captain.” You stand straight in front of him, assembling all the pride and stature you used to have before the accident. Or at least you make an effort.

“How’s the shoulder?”

“Much better, I’m ready to go back to duty.”

“Hm”, Drautos gives his desk a look; eyeing the papers on top of it. “The healers report you have regained some movability, but still need thorough therapy. I’ll reinstate you, as supervisor of the fresh recruits and patrolling the Citadel. Only light training, am I being clear? I don’t need another idiot to burn themselves out before we even get them back on the field.”

“Yeah”, you nod, slightly disappointed, yet grateful of getting a reason to leave your home every morning.

Being dismissed, you walk down to the corridors to the assembly hall, where several Glaives are chatting away. The Empire has slowed their assaults, giving Lucis a short respite. But the tensions have grown remarkably since last you were here; all of a sudden, Luche is seen almost knocking over a table, ready to jump one of the newbies.

“Hey, settle down, Luche!” Libertus roars while shoving away the recruit to safety. 

“Fucking-”

“Don’t make me tell you again”, growls Libertus, and Luche compliantly fall back onto his chair, no less irritated, however.

“What’s up?” You walk over to them, somewhat unsure of how to act – most you haven’t seen since the attack.

“Hey, Red!” Crowe appears at your side, giving you a gentle nudge. “Back in action? Thought you would be back sooner, Astra came back two weeks ago.”

You rub where her elbow nudged your arm and offer a smile. “Been cleared for supervising and patrolling.”

“Tch”, Luche shakes his head, watching you. “We gonna need you on the field, not babysitting the royals and their pals.”

“Luche”, cautions Crowe, but he takes no heed.

“No, she needs to listen”, Luche gestures in your direction. “Y’know why the Niffs suddenly taking it easy with us? Because they are busy taking care of their own shit. Several towns have been abandoned, ‘cause the population is turning into daemons. Just a matter of time before it hits Gralea.”

You feel your cheeks losing colour. “What?”

“He’s been going on about this for two days now”, mutters Crowe before raising her voice. “Without producing any hard evidence yet!”

“I’m sure it could be true”, Libertus speaks up. “But that ain’t no reason to go punching the new Glaives like ya did the other day, Luche. Ya said it, we need everybody on the field.”

“Why would people be turning into daemons?” You stare at Luche, who seems to have a shade of desperation about him by now.

“Dunno, rumours are it has to do with their crazy scientist, Verstael Besithia. Ain’t that a cliché? Started at his factory, apparently. Not surprised though, the bastard’s been on the agenda before.”

“’Til we get confirmation, we need to be careful about spreading possible misinformation.” Crowe folds her arms in front of her chest and gives Luche a hard look. “Is that clear, Lazarus?”

She gains a gruff grunt in response. Enough to make her drop the subject and turn back to you. “So, patrolling the Citadel huh? Oughta give you some nice run-ins with your lord I ‘spose.”

“Yeah...” You worry your lip between the teeth for a short moment, deciding this is not a discussion you want to take here and now. “I guess so.”

\--

Ending your first week since being back, you celebrate the inbound weekend by taking on some sought after sparring.

“Hey, we don’t have to go all in, y’know”, snickers Prompto, albeit his tenseness does not ease up. You promised Drautos only light training, and looking at the chocoboy, you choose to interpret him as light enough.

“Prompto, it’s fine. I need to get back at some point.”

He is a ray of sunshine, but not _your_ sunshine. Yours was Valerio, your tall, blond, long-haired Arba of a friend, with glasses too big. Nevertheless, you appreciate his goofiness and attempts to distract you; you are happy that this young man is part of Ignis’ circle of friends, he needs a bit of sun too.

You are twirling your daggers, waiting for Prompto to finish preparing. He seems to be stalling oddly much this evening. The answer as to why comes into the room right as you are about to jokingly ask if Prompto wishes to withdraw his offer of sparring tonight. The doors open, and one of the two men entering stops abruptly at the sight of you. A visibly uncomfortable Ignis turns to Gladio, saying something inaudible.

“Prompto”, you repeat, more warily this time.

“I-I’m sorry, it was really Gladio’s idea. But seriously, the two of you _need_ to talk, though.” He actually looks frightened, shoulders growing red from the awkwardness. Normally, it would have softened you, making you want to comfort him, but you feel deceived right now.

You see Gladio giving Ignis a resolute push in your direction, earning him a disapproving grunt from the ashy haired man.

“Yeah, and if we need to tie you up I ain’t hesitating to do so. I’m tired of your complaining.” Gladio’s face is stern, but his voice carries a hint of amusement. That much is obvious to Ignis too, who is getting more annoyed by the second.

“I do _not_ complain”, Ignis spits back, grabbing Gladio’s wrist as the man is about to push him again.

“Alright, sure, not about _this_ , but about every-fucking-else, Iggy.” 

Your eyes wander from the Shield to the Adviser; he is attempting to avoid your gaze at every cost. It should make you thankful, that he is not pushing for a relationship that should not have existed in the first place. At the same time, it makes you feel small, hurt, and mean; to have pushed this man away so hard that he cannot stand being in your presence.

“Nothing else needs to be said. She’s made it quite clear these past months were nothing but a means to pass time.” Ignis lets go of Gladio and proceeds to walk towards the doors.

“Hey!” It even surprises yourself when you yell, causing Ignis to stop in his tracks. “I did this for you.”

“No, you did not.” He actually meets your eyes this time, before he turns to leave again, but is once more staggered, this time by a blue flash as you warp in front of him.

Not sure what you were striving for doing this, you clench the twin daggers tighter in your hands. “I did. It was all to protect you.”

The green orbs have turned a darker shade. Before you can react, he has dropped his bag to the floor, summoned his own daggers and, with surprising speed for someone not able to warp, found his way mere centimetres from your face. You can put up your own weapons as defence just in time; the metal clashing loudly against each other. Sparks are flying from the usage of the thunderous elements, and his voice is harsh when he speaks. “I am in no need of protection.”

It takes a lot of your strength to push away, giving you some space to assess the situation. The familiar sensation takes a hold of you; this is where you will determine whether you are the hunter or the prey on the battlefield. While it also brings back uncomfortable flashes from a few months ago, there is a comfort too – you know this, you know fight.

Ignis widens his stance, finding balance and purchase for another assault. A quick glance at the others reveals an obvious concern in Prompto’s face. He has started to question the appropriateness of this meeting; a fight with live weapons was probably not what he had in mind. Gladio on the other hand seems pleased that Ignis and you are actually in the same room.

Gritting your teeth, you allow a fleeting recognition – this is the first time the two of you have ever pointed weapons at each other; you have not even sparred together. And this… you are not even sure what this is. Apparently, you are not capable of yelling properly at each other.

Thoughtful eyes behind a pokerfaced expression watch you closely, waiting for a move. You do the same, standing in wait for a specific moment. And it comes, once Ignis seems to relax, maybe he thinks there will be nothing more, maybe it is a way to throw you off-guard.  

A pylon of fire clashes violently with your own lightning storm, causing it to explode. Unlike Prompto, your magical shenanigans do not make him waver, though they do give you a moment long enough to warp away and raise a magical barrier as the enchanted storm blows back. You are ready to retaliate, and you are not holding back.

And you quickly realise it is in your best interest to give it your all if you wish to stay on your feet. Dissimilar to the chocoboy, Ignis does not rely on whims and happenstances; he calculates your moves dangerously fast and the way he summons his weapons is seamless, using them as natural extensions of his body.

You manage to get him on the floor by a swipe of your legs – once. Agilely, he bounces back with surprising swiftness for one that tall, and the next time you try your hand at the same trick he is ready. Ignis quickly dives and grabs you by your ankle in a vice grip. Wincing you change targets and aim a slice of your dagger against his body, but he easily spins you off towards the floor. Not wasting any time, you roll around, quick to get back up on your feet. There is just enough time for you to put up another shield as a plume of fire races for you.

Through the smoke you charge and are rapidly bounced away by the swing of his lance. You hear him panting lightly now, in contrast to your own heavy sweat. The pain in the shoulder is pulsating by now and you let out a broken grunt, grimacing badly as you refrain from clutching it. It makes Ignis stop, further fuelling you.

“Come on!” You are not entirely certain why you are fighting, neither does he seem to be. But is has to continue. Perhaps part of you wish for him to tear you apart, yet you are giving him a hard time to do so.

You recognise a move he is about to make; the same one he used when he sparred against Brutus years ago. As he prepares himself with the polearm, and efficiently thrusts himself into the air, you hurry to throw a dagger in his direction – above him. As he is about to come down with all his weight, you materialise above and push all your being into him. Ignis is knocked off-balance but drives the lance into the ground before he has a risk of hitting the floor. In the same process, you jump backwards, gasping and allowing yourself a quick breather.

A low whistle emerges from the side and Gladio is wearing a ludicrous grin. “Gotcha there, Iggy.”

Ignis straightens his glasses, then lets the polearm disappear in a soft flash. “I yield.” Seeing him walk and grab his belongings, you watch him with a frown. The darkness in his eyes are gone, replaced by something softer, yet less saturated.

“You give up?” There is no way you could have actually defeated him, and he knows it.

“I do. Now, if you’ll excuse me”, he replies curtly and leaves the hall without looking back.

“Wow”, the timbre of Gladio’s voice spreads in the hall again. “Been some time since I last saw him so agitated.”

Furrowing your brows, you look at him with noticeable annoyance. “Why are you doing this to him? Haven’t I hurt him enough?”

Gladio looks up to let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. When he meets your eyes again, he seems more sombre. “Yeah, it was pretty shitty, and I was actually pissed at you.”

“He was”, Prompto assures with a nod, sitting on one of the benches.

“But Iggy wouldn’t let me be angry, he said he wasn’t. And after he told me about it, I kinda get your motives. It’s still shitty, but honestly, you two are so fucking mad about each other it’s almost hilarious seeing you try to waltz around avoiding each other.”

“So, he told all of you?” You realise you are still holding your daggers and let them vanish into thin air. It bothers you that they know. Especially as you haven’t even been able to talk properly to Astra, or anyone really. Nyx and Crowe are the likely candidates for pouring your heart out, but you do not really want to bother them at this time. And you are not sure if you can speak about this with Prompto, you might not know him well enough yet. “Is the Prince gonna order us to partake in peace negotiations next?”

Prompto shakes his head, futilely hiding a grin at your comment. “Nah, only Gladio. I know nothing, just want you two to get along again. Noct too, though he wouldn’t admit it. It’s all a bit too emotional for him. But Iggy’s been suuuuperharsh on him.”

You watch him before backtracking Gladiolus’ words, turning to the larger man. “Wait, what do you mean he’s mad _about_ me? He hates me. He had no problem attacking me just now.”

“Kinda think you started it though.” Gladio shrugs, smiling almost cryptically. “It’s obvious, just trust me. And I think you care helluva lot about him, but you’re both being cowards right now – you're pushing him away as some kind of act of saviourism, and he thinks he’s doing the right thing by just ignoring you, since he doesn’t know what to do, and that scares the crap out of mister always-got-a-plan.”

He tilts his head, watching you closely. “And, I know you’re a soldier. So am I, and he, despite all the fancy talk and dos. But does the bad really outweigh all of the good? Isn’t it better to have something to come home to after all that fighting?” Gladio starts walking out of the room and before the door he turns his head back to say: “So next time you’re about to hit it off again, just make sure you’re ready to take it seriously. ‘Cause I’m not sure he, or you, can go through a break-up like that again.”

Once the door closes, you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you have been holding in. Lowering your shoulders, you turn to Prompto.

“So, uh, want company to the train station?”

\--

You are standing by your locker after a quick shower, grabbing your red coat from inside and throwing the bag of gym clothes on your healthy shoulder. As you are about to close, your eyes fall to the two photos of the inside of the locker. The one of your family, and below it – one of what you considered your Insomnian family. It is difficult to tear away your gaze from Val’s beaming face. Astra’s happy, almost flirtatious, look make you uneasy; you don’t want to be at odds with her, but know better than to push right now. Your smile returns when you turn to look at Tobul with his then trademark mohawk. At least things are good between the two of you, too bad he is many miles from here; climbing ranks and keeping the border safe.

And you do, seemingly, have _someone_ here. This you remind yourself when the smiling Prompto meets you outside the locker room. If he really disliked your company, you doubt he would be able to hide it. He would more likely ghost you instead of sending encouraging texts every now and then.

The trek to the Citadel station is short, so you both decide to take a detour to the next stop instead, relishing in the fresh air after being stuck in the clammy training halls.

After discussing RPGs and the quality of a newly released tower defence game, you cannot help curiosity taking the better of you.

“So, are you hanging out with Noctis? I mean, you’ve texted be more than usual lately.”

Prompto shrugs. “We try to hang out as often as we can, but ya know, he’s got all these princely duties. Since he turned twenty, the council has been a real pain, wanting him to find a bride or something.”

“Oh, marriage already?” You silently wonder if Ignis is one of those pushing the prince on this matter.

“Yeah, something about making alliances.” Prompto makes a grimace. “Though, I think he’s still holding out for Luna.”

“Lady Lunafreya, the Oracle?” You reach the stairs to the underground station, usually desolate if it had not been a Friday and thus a given party night.  

“Mhm, they’ve been writing each other since, like, forever. They use these super cute, awesome messengers to bypass anyone else getting a hand on their conversation. Noct won’t even me have a look.” Prompto shivers a bit in the cold and covers his eyes to look at the time board; 7 minutes until his train arrives, 10 until yours.

“Should you really be telling me then?” Smiling at his faith in you, you still shake your head. “What if I’m some sneaky Niff spy?”

“Nah”, snickers the youngster, jumping a bit where he stands to keep his warmth. “You’re totally too sweet to be, I’m sure! And well, had ya been, I think Iggy woulda realised already. That’s proof enough for me.”

As his train arrives, you are surprised, and glad, of the quick hug he gives you before boarding. It is a swift, but warm gesture, enough to lighten your entire being for the weekend.

\--

**_Tobul_ **

_Just got some reception, sorry I couldn’t attend the funeral. Give Val my best next time you see him. Might be calm now, but I think things will heat up eventually, be sure to rest that shoulder until then._

\--

**_Prompto_ **

_Hey, wanna go icecream hunting?_

**_You_ **

_It’s the middle of freezing winter?!_

**_Prompto_ **

_Duh, that’s when you should eat it, it won’t melt!_

**_You_ **

_…can’t argue with that._

\--

**_???_ **

_Yo_

**_You_ **

_Who is this?_

**_???_ **

_Gladio ;) Prom gave me your number_

**_You_ **

_Oh, ok. Why?_

**_Gladio_ **

_Those were some sweet moves the other week, might need you to help me rough up some new Crownsguard recruits in the future._

**_You_ **

_Ask Ignis._

**_Gladio_ **

_Iggy can’t warp, none of us can except prince lazybutt. Already asked another glaive, but she just snubbed me right away. You might know her, brunette with impressive resting bitchface?_

**_You_ **

_Likely Crowe, she does that to anyone who deserves it._

_I got enough with my own newbs._

_Maybe a conjoined training session._

_MAYBE._

**_Gladio_ **

_Sweet :)_

\--

January quietly turns into February, with less fighting occurring, but instead come increasing, worrying reports of daemon attacks. And not only from Niflheim, but from the regions of Lucis as well.

First came reports from one of the bordering cities; Cartanica. The train had apparently encountered more creatures than before. Then came reports from Meldacio’s hunters; their bounties starting to consisting more and more of the dark beings. And just a few days ago you learnt of a family being slain not far from Hammerhead.

Daemons may have existed since the dawn of Eos, but not to this degree – at least not for these last two millennia – at the fact sends upsetting shockwaves throughout the Glaives. Many of the Galahdians feel the urge to rush back home, to keep their remaining family and friends safe, but without the King’s power they would be at a great disadvantage.

And honestly, you wish to do the same, but find comfort in knowing that Lestallum is one of the safest cities to be in right now. Much thanks to its large supply of meteor shards keeping the town bathing in light – an effective protection against the daemons as they prefer to traverse in darkness.

It is a week into February, and the day has been tiresome, but not overly busy. In fact, you had even had a decent conversation with Astra. A nice change from the previous frowns she’d sent you recently. You doubt she is ready to forgive you, nevertheless, she does seem to recognise your reasoning. 

Outdoors, on your way home after finishing patrolling, the wet sounds keep coming in a steady rhythm as you walk; cold rain is slushing the snow, the chilly wind piercing any microscopic hole in the fibres of your coat. You have started to regret the decision to walk home instead of taking the train, and the want for spring is great right now. The snow had looked so nice from inside the wing, too bad it had turned to something that resembles a fight between Shiva and Leviathan.

A chime emits from your phone, but you find it too cold to reach for it right now. Most likely it is either Astra telling you she won’t come home after all, or Prompto wishing to spar again soon. Or possibly him wanting to go to the coffee shop you passed after training the other day.

As long as it’s not the nameless dude you ran into last weekend at the bar, that had been a scenario you wish could be undone. At Crowe’s request you had joined her and many of the other Glaives for a night out. A particularly unpleasant being had made it his mission to find out your number, an endeavour you hope he’d given up by now.

The memory of the man demanding a hand job as you tried to make your way out of the bar makes you queasy and thus you release some frustration by kicking a small heap of snow as you walk. That’s when you hear your name being softly spoken, loud enough for you to lift your head, eyes squinting because of the icy puffs of wind brushing your face.

“Ignis.” It is a plain, neutral statement. For here he is, standing in front of you, for no feasible reason; the Citadel is a few blocks away, and he is nowhere close to either Noct’s or your place. He looks positively drenched and his coat is not even properly buttoned. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Strands of hair hang down his forehead, clear green eyes watching you. He clears his throat, tearing his gaze away. “I was finding my way home. I do hope you will not fling daggers at me this time.”

It is surely meant as a light joke, but you fail to let the smile reach your eyes.

“Oh, okay. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” There is a duality to your words, obvious for anyone to notice. Trying to walk past – you don’t want to bother him – you slip on the icy surface but find footing before you risk falling. In the periphery you notice a motion; he was prepared to catch you.

“I never looked to begin with”, the slight tremble in his voice has you stopping before you can walk on. You draw a breath while listening. “And yet I found it.”

You turn and watch him, but he is waiting for you to say something. How does one respond to that? Why is he doing this?

“We’ll only end up hurt one way or the other, don’t you see that?”, you ask quietly. “This time it was Valerio, next it might be I. Or you.”

He takes a step forward. “I don’t care.”

Another step.

“You said there was nothing more for me to say, that I did not do this for you.” You swallow, meeting his gaze as it slowly wanders from your lips to your eyes. Gladio’s words ring somewhere back in your mind – _he is mad about you_.

“I stand by what I said, there is little more for you to say regarding that particular matter. Since you do not need to protect me. Albeit not my preferred method, I’d hoped for you to see that after the ordeal in the sparring halls.” He rakes a hand through his hair, letting out an exhaustion-filled sigh before continuing:

“You and I could both easily get on with our lives, strong as ever and perform our duties without flaw. We could go our separate ways and never look back. But I don’t want that, and quite frankly, I don’t think you do either.” His breath is starting to even after the apparent march home. “No matter how long or short the time we’re given might be…”

Ignis trails off, noticing your eyes have travelled south, now staring at his drenched clothes – his coat is open and reveals a blue, striped shirt, unbuttoned by the collarbones. And it is covered in...

“Is that glitter?” 

A very conspicuous tint of pink in his face. “I... ran away from my birthday party at Noct’s.”

The two of you stare at each other for a while. Then a sudden, light laughter bubbles from you, making him relax a little and smile bashfully.

“Sorry”, you begin without knowing exactly what to say. Instead of finishing the sentence, you just take a few steps closer to him, making him stand under your umbrella. You offer him the handle. “Here, you must be freezing, you’re completely soaked. There’s still some way to the Citadel if you’re planning on walking the entire way.”

“Ah, no, it is quite alright, I wouldn’t want you to get sick.”

There is softness in his eyes, much different from the darkness you saw in them some weeks ago. The aura between you two is has changed as well.

“You’re the one who’ll definitely get a cold, or worse.” You unwrap your scarf and stand on your toes, putting it around him before he has a chance to protest. “If you refuse to take my H2O-shield, at least take this.”

The close proximity has you holding your breath, trying to avoid looking into his eyes. You can hear him swallow.

“Why?”

“I care about you.” You take a tight grip of your jacket, making sure to compensate for the loss of your scarf. You dare to look up at him again, unable to resist. “I always have, that’s the point.”

“Thank you”, he mumbles, a noticeable flush on his face. Oversized scarf safely wrapped around his neck and shoulders, rosy cheeks, wet, messy hair dropping down to his eyes - he looks utterly ruined and adorable at the same time. It feels as if an eternity passes as you just stand there, watching each other wordlessly.

An eternity long enough for you to start questioning your own resolve, however selfish that may be, after all you put the two of you through. You watch his lips, slightly reddened in the cold. The want to kiss them is almost maddening. The spell must be broken. You clear your throat and tighten the grip around the umbrella.

 “I forgot it was your birthday today, sorry.” A glance at his glitter-stained outfit and you add: “Though, it seems the boys gave you quite the party.”

A small huff of air escapes his nose, but he is still smiling. “Gladio said something about wanting to take my mind off things and invited me to a calm evening at Noct’s apartment. As I arrived, I was face to face with Prompto holding a confetti cannon. Alas, I was unable to escape it.”

“I think the glitter makes your eyes pop”, you snicker and then look at the wet coat, cocking an eyebrow. “Did you take the train?”

“Ah, yes.” He is blushing even harder now, obviously ashamed. “I haven’t been drinking, if that’s your concern. One of the _gentlemen_ hid my car keys, determined to get me intoxicated and to dispel of the car as an excuse not to. Thus, I had to take the train... and I got off at the wrong stop, so I made it a trek.”

Sceptically, you eye him – it does not seem very likely for him to actually get lost, but you choose to not pursue that path. You smile, relishing that you are having something that resembles a normal conversation, though there seems to be an awful lot of pushing and pulling.

Ignis seems to be contemplating the same notion, however more inclined to end while things still are going relatively smoothly. You have yet to respond to him pouring his heart out, but he does not pick up that thread. Perhaps out of consideration, not wanting to come on too strong. Or perhaps seeing your attention going elsewhere as a diversion to drop the subject.

“I fear I need to get going. As you said, it is still quite a walk back.” He takes a step back, leaving the safety beneath your umbrella.

You hope the disappointment in your face is not too obvious as you nod.

“Yeah, it was good seeing you.”

As he is a short distance away, you remember and call after him: “Happy birthday, Ignis.”

He looks back at you and puts a hand to his heart, giving you a soft bow with his head in thanks. Offering him a last, warm look, you turn to leave. Maybe it is imagination, but your steps seem lighter, meanwhile your thoughts are in disarray once more.

Does the bad really outweigh all of the good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely sure about this chapter, but it had to be done. A bit of a stepping stone for the future ones, foreshadowings, while not really getting Ignis and Reader back on track just yet. 
> 
> Writing this is a means of repleneshing my spoons, and to have someone actually reading it is more than I would have hoped for.
> 
> So thank you. Thank you for the comments and kudos. They are fuel, and I feel unworthy. <3


	14. A Moment to Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring has a way of stirring up all these feelings that have been hibernating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone interested, I sometimes make silly art from both my own and others fics, along with other stuff. 8) here's a link to my instagram https://www.instagram.com/sanilonnroth/p/Bu6p-gHgNOM/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1hbkunlbhnaa7

### M.E. 756 - March

  
Much like the snowdrops gradual appearance in the parks, you start getting glimpses of Ignis every now and then – mostly in the Citadel. While guarding you may at times see him walk by. Occasionally he is in busy discussions with other Citadel personnel or council members, other times he is quietly making his way from one place to another. He seems incredibly busy nonetheless, and the encounters are still rare due to increased workload for all Citadel staff. But common to all meetings are the small, stolen glances between the two of you. No words are exchanged then and there, but the almost invisible smile in his gaze is more than enough to make your knees feel weak again.

It is enough for you to start wondering if you can fix this.

You have yet to say something regarding his feelings, but he is not pushing. Instead, there is the sporadic, silly texts. Small steps, building something that might evolve once more.

 **_Ignis_ **  
_I’d be glad for the next season to arrive soon, but there seems to be snow way out._

 **_You_ **  
_I agree, the warmth always puts a little spring in my step. You’re so skilled with plants, maybe you should enter the flower business? Heard it’s about to bloom._

  
**_Ignis_ **  
_Thank you snow much, I actually thaw some buds today._

 **_You_ **  
_So water you doing now?_

 ** _Ignis_**  
_Contemplating when I might get my next dosage of vitamin sea._

\--

Come March, the last of the ice finally melts and the sea outside the walls brings a refreshing, salty air to the grand city. You sit under a blanket in the sun, facing the warmth like a sunbathing chocobo.

Astra trots your way, coming out of the café with two large chai lattes. You offer her another blanket and get one of the mugs in exchange as she sits down next to you.

“Gods, I really need this”, she murmurs into her beverage. “Did we really have to sit outside? It’s too cold!”

You smile and take a sip of the foamy liquid. “You’re too sensitive.”

“Maybe you’re not sensitive enough”, mutters Astra, but gives you a lopsided smile. You finally feel like you are back to being close friends again, and there is a warmth spreading within when she elbows your arm.

“I’m glad we worked things out”, you say, giving her a glance and catching her smile.

“Yeah, me too. And feels good sleeping more at home again, my bed is way comfier than Axis’. Hope it doesn’t bother you too much that he hangs around.”

You shrug. It is not ideal, but you are too happy about having Astra back to care. The last thing you want right now is another falling out. Closing your eyes, you turn your face to the sun again, drinking in the heat. Spring has been longed for.

The peace is however disturbed only moments later, when a deep, smug voice pierces through the calm noon.

“Well, well, if it ain’t the Glaive herself.”

You look up to see Gladio throwing shade, literally, over you. Squinting, you fire off a smile.

“Hey, enjoying the weather?”

“You could say that”, he smirks back, before turning his attention to Astra. “Hiya, Gladio Amicitia.”

The redhead uses a hand to shield her eyes from the sun and grins back at him. “Astra Gemini. Crownsguard and the Prince’s Shield, right? Seen you around, you’re hard to miss.”

Her comment seems to please Gladio, who brightens at her words.

“Yeah, I’m no hide-and-seek champion really.”

You scoff and take another sip of your latte. Astra seems intrigued.

“Whaddya doing tonight?”

You give her a sideways glance. “Astra...”

She politely ignores you, still smiling towards Gladio. “Red and I are throwing a party with some Glaives, because why the hell not. Who knows how many we have left before the Niffs decide to crash them? It’s mostly bring your own booze, but we got snacks and a small stash of alcohol too.”

Gladio gives you a look and you shrug.

“If you want to.”

He smiles. “Sure, sounds sweet. Mind if Iggy tag along?”

You swallow, feeling your heart pick up time. It was inevitable, right? Astra answers for you.

“Sure, the more the merrier!”

“What about Prompto?” you hurry to add, not very smoothly trying to avert discussions about Ignis.

“He and Noct got some bromance thing going on tonight, so Iggy and I were just planning to go to the pub. Or well, Iggy was gonna work, so I planned on dragging him along. Bet I don’t have to use force now though.” He fires off a mischievous grin your way, and you reply with a childish grimace, hoping your cheeks only seem red because of the sun.

“Fine, get the hell out of here. It’s enough I have to see you tonight.” You lightly kick him with a toe, having grown bolder around him ever since the time you had trained Crownsguards and Kingsglaives recruits together. Not that he would have noticed even if you ran a full-scale battle ram into him.

“Sure, soldier.” Gladio starts walking away, the grin persistently on his face. “I’ll tell Iggy to wear something nice under his clothes.”

Astra laughs gleefully, earning a toe-kick herself.

\--

You stare at your phone, wondering if you should text him. Telling him you are cool with him coming. Or if he does not, that is fine too.  
In the end, you just put the phone away again.

\--

“Okay, now this is more like it!” Nyx whips up some bottles of beers, handing them around. You give him the bottle opener to pass around. Sipping on the beer - ugh, still a bit too bitter for your taste – you walk into the living room. Crowe is sitting in the armchair, listening to a joke Pelna has told too many times before, and she rolls her eyes as he gains the laughter of the others. You are happy Axis is not here. Not yet at least.

Him, Tredd and Luche have been throwing more shit on Nyx lately, way more than he deserves. You guess it has something to do with Nyx’s reluctance to talk smack about Lucis and the King. Astra seems to be stuck somewhere in the middle of all of this – trying to remain a part of Axis’ group, while still holding on to Nyx, Crowe and the rest of you.

Libertus sits down in the couch with a large thud, a rumbling laughter coming from him as Pelna finishes another joke.

You’ve really missed this.

A ring from the door has you startled, and Nyx is on his way to open it when you hurry past.

“Uh, I’ll get it!”

Nyx cocks an eyebrow, the only thing needed to question you.

“I, um, well, it was Astra really. She invited some others.” You walk towards the door. “Crownsguards.”

“We playing with the Crownies now?” smirks Nyx, a smile that gets stuck when you open the door.

In the corridor stands the large figure of Gladio, and next to him the lithe form of Ignis.

“Hey, soldier”, the larger one rumbles and soon draws you into a one-armed hug. “Look who came along.”

You shyly glance over at Ignis as Gladio lets you go, and you motion for them to come in. Gladio immediately heads for Nyx who is still standing in the hallway, offering him a strong hand to shake.

“Shoes!” you yell at him, causing the older Glaive to grin and shake his head.

“Better do as she says, or she’ll come after you with a broom”, laughs Nyx. “There’s beer in the kitchen.”

As the two of them wander off further into the apartment, you turn back to Ignis, who already has shoes off and the jacket hanging neatly from the rack. You eye him subtly; he is wearing his courl-print button-down, but the sleeves are rolled up into a more casual look and he has taken off his gloves. You swear that he even has undone an extra button of his shirt. Your thoughts are disturbed by him holding up a bottle of wine for you to take.

“A gift for the hostess”, he says politely, but it is the warmth in his eyes that has you melting. You take it from him with a smile.

“Thanks, you shouldn’t have.” A moment, wondering if you should hug him, before setting off into the apartment. “Come and say hi.”

He follows you into the living room, where Gladio has already made a great job at breaking the ice with the others. They do however silence at the sight of Ignis.

He clears his throat and fires of a grin. “Please, do not stop on my behalf.”

Gladio laughs and raises his bottle of chosen liquid. “Hear, hear. Iggy won’t bite if you don’t.” He winks your way, causing you to choke on your beer. Astra comes up to pat your back while handing Ignis a bottle of his own, which he accepts – much to your surprise.

“Not driving tonight?”

He smiles. “No, we took the train. And got off at the correct stop, should you wonder.”

You snicker, trying not to blush from just being in his presence. Gods be damned, why was he so handsome?

“Scientia”, calls Pelna from the couch, placing his elbow on the table, ready for a brawl of arm-wrestling. “Up for a game?”

Ignis lets out a light scoff, hesitating for a split moment before taking another gulp of the beer and sitting down in front of Pelna. This is truly a night of surprises. It does not take many seconds for the humble man to force the Glaive’s hand to the table. He might not look it, but you know Ignis is packing some concentrated strenght in those lithe muscles.

Even Crowe smirks when Pelna gets up to massage his arm, while Astra takes his place.

After indulging Astra with a few rematches, Nyx finally replaces her and Ignis meets his match. A slightly tired Ignis yields after a few minutes of stalemate, congratulating the victor with a strong handshake. It all feels a bit alien to you, but amusing nonetheless.

“My turn!” shouts Gladio and gets to his feet, Nyx quickly standing up with a laughter.

“No way in hell, I’m not interested in losing an arm!”

You laugh and make your way out to the kitchen, stopping when you hear voices coming down the hall. Peeking towards the front door, you see Astra – talking to Axis.

“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ax.” The redhead crosses her arms, looking uncharacteristically small in front of her boyfriend.

“Why? Planning on sleeping with one of them?” Axis’ eyes are close to black as he hisses at her.

“Of course not, idiot. But don’t you see the problem?! You ain’t exactly fans of the nobles and royals. The party will be dead, because I know you won’t be able to keep your mouth shut.”

“Whatever”, he snorts back, throwing his hands to the air. “Whatever. Already knew Ulric was a fucking twat, not surprised he’s cool with hanging out with those who keep pissing on us Glaives. Just disappointed to see you are too.”

He starts heading down the stairs and Astra calls after him: “I’ll see you Monday!”

There is no response from Axis, and before you can continue to the kitchen, Astra turns and sees you. She shrugs, and you offer her a smile. She knows where to find you, you are not pushing this time, not right now.

The two of you enter the kitchen, met by a clearly intoxicated Libertus ranting to Pelna.

“They sent in a fucking Iron Giant last time. Have you seen the beast? Damn, Nyx had to go all out on that one.”

You shift uncomfortably while opening the fridge, looking for some soda. You have tried to avoid talking fighting daemons as much as possible, at least on your free time. Work you cannot do much about.

“How the hell are they getting all these daemons?” mutters Pelna, taking a sip from his beer. “Maybe Luche was right... maybe they are manufacturing them. I mean, they are the most technologically advanced country out there.”

“They can send in their daemons and troopers, we’ll get them next time anyway”, gruffs Libertus.

Next time. You know it is coming, but your entire body is screaming for you to run. You don’t want there to be a next time. However, you swore an oath. It is all too much. Fucking unreliable angst. You mumble some sort of incoherent excuse, not sure anyone actually heard, and disappear out of the flat. For a short moment you wonder where to go. The Citadel? Aimlessly traversing the streets? The next second you set off up the stairs. You know that someone was up there earlier, smoking, and find the door to the roof unlocked.

The world is spinning when you sit down, close to the edge. The heavy pressure in your chest is not subsiding, and you can hear your heart now. Mouth dry, you try your best to force oxygen down to your lungs, the chilly spring air scraping your throat. You know this is an angst attack; the healers had warned you about them, and that they could occur for years. Nevertheless, you almost start to fear dying once the sweat breaks out, all while you are still freezing. Your feet and hands are starting to get numb, your vision turning into a blur. Your hearing must have already been put on standby, because only when you see a shadow in the periphery you hear his voice.

“I’m here. Is it alright if I sit next to you?” Ignis’ voice is soft, but he abstains from touching you. You manage to give a quick nod and he carefully shifts closer, still not touching you, taking it slow.

“If you wish for me to be quiet, please do not refrain from telling me so.” He is soundless for a minute, observing you, before calmly speaking again. “Look around and tell me three things you can see.”

You swallow painfully and stare wildly from one place to another. “I... there’s the, what are they called, obstacle lights? On the very tall buildings. A cat in the window across the street.” You glance over to Ignis. “Your purple scarf.”

“Good.” He gets a little bit closer. “Now, tell me three things you can hear.”

You close your eyes and listen intently. “My heart, it’s racing so fast I can hear it.” You open your eyes again, unable to focus on anything else than the muscle in your chest that threatens to jump your body any second.

“It is fine, tell me three things you can smell instead.”

You are quiet and start breathing through your nose, automatically getting better control of your breathing in the process. “Someone has made food, but it smells like burning. And there’s the smell of exhausts from the cars. And...” You feel your heart slowing just a tad as you concentrate further. “Someone is smoking nearby.”

Ignis just nods and watches you; you are better but not fine. He holds out a hand, palm up. Gradually, a fire starts to delicately build in it, tenderly swaying in the wind. You stare at it, letting it paint your surroundings in warm light. Ignis cautiously turns to sit fully before you, legs brushing against yours. He takes his other hand and together with the first cups the fire. As his eyes turn to you, you look up and slowly move your hands to his, putting your palms to the back of his own finely chiselled hands. They are warm against your skin and you turn your gaze to the fire again. With unhurried motions, Ignis silently opens his hands, letting the fire carefully flow down into your cupped hands, ready to hold on to the magic.

It is hot, but not searing. As it starts to tremble terribly, Ignis mirrors your earlier movements and stabilises you by putting his palms around your hands. You sit there, quietly breathing in tempo with the fire between the two of you. The rest of the world has turned silent, but no longer because of panic. The heart is still beating loudly, though in a steadier and slower pace.

Looking up to finally speak, you shut your mouth again. The only conversation needed is the one Ignis and you voice by sitting here, hands entwined while sharing soft looks. At long last, able to slightly wet your mouth and lips, you let your gaze trail over the features in his face – the familiar constellations of birthmarks, the high cheekbones, the fine line that is his jaw. The determined passion in his eyes.

You already knew, but can at last wholeheartedly admit it to yourself. He is not your biggest weakness; he is your greatest strength – he is your fire. Ignis is the burning entity that fuels your soul.

The knot in your throat begins to dissolve in time with the fire fading from your grasp. As it burns out with a soft huff, you feel Ignis begin to move away, releasing you. Although afraid, you grip his hand with yours.

“Wait.”

He continues to watch you in silence, and you shift your eyes to glance up into the sky for a brief moment; Gods, why is this so hard? Returning to look at him, with the risk of drowning in the green pools watching you so closely, you take a firmer grip of him.

“This possibly makes no sense, but… I hate that I love you, and I love you so much that I hate myself.”

His expression grows almost painfully soft, a small breath escaping past his lips. For a moment you wonder if it is pity, if he finds your feelings an embarrassment. His free hand moves to gently cup your face, then he slowly moves to rest his forehead against yours.

“Darling…” It is a mere whisper against your skin. “Please, do not loathe yourself, for to me you are warmth and life itself walking this star, in a vessel so beautiful it is certain to make the Astrals envious.”

Blushingly you brush your nose against his. “Isn’t that a bit profane?”

“Then may the Gods rain down their wrath upon me”, murmurs Ignis and tilts his head ever so slightly – a silent invitation you accept after but a brief hesitation. His lips against yours fill you with an electric sensation, swiftly spreading through your body. As his hand finds purchase by your neck, you are fully enveloped and delve deeper, hungrily grasping his coat to pull him closer.

“Ignis...” His name is a breath across your lips when you reluctantly free your mouth from his after a while. You are breathing in tandem, foreheads resting against each other. You need to say the words, cleanly and straightforwardly.

“I love you, darling.” He places a kiss at your temple and you smile – as always, he seems to be a step ahead.

 “I love you, Ignis Scientia. So damn much it hurts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken way longer than necessary because of computer that keeps crashing (might drop-kick it from the balcony soon). Anyway, at least this chapter ended on a happy note (it was originally three times longer too, but saving it for next chapter). 💜 Kingsglaive scenarios incoming...


	15. Hope Springs Eternal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niflheim draws closer and closer, provoking the Lucis military. You wish you could care less of this, and let yourself submerge in the bliss of being close to Ignis.

###  ** Chapter 15 **

** Early May **

The roofs of the towers of the Citadel are bathing in soft golden light as the sun is on its last leg of the day. You have never been up here before, and take in the breath-taking view of Insomnia from above.

Usually, the phone correspondences are daily, twice a day if possible, while the physical meetings still appear less frequent than before your breakup.  Work has been harsh, only admitting Ignis and you few moments to yourself – and this evening is one of them. April has come with longer days and flowers starting to bloom in every garden. 

“I came to think of you the other day”, he murmurs into your ear as you watch the sun’s slow descent towards the far away horizon. “A composer once wrote: ‘So shimmering was never the sea, and the beach never so liberating. The fields, meadows and trees never so beautiful and the flowers never so lovely scented, like when you walked by my side towards the sunset, the wonderful evening when your locks concealed me from the world, while you drowned all my sorrows, darling, with your first kiss.’”

“That’s beautiful”, you whisper and listen to his breaths as you lean into his chest. The spring air is still chilly, but he seems as warm as his name – the fire within the two of you goes a long way to keep you warm. “I love the sunset.”

“I love you.”

You smile into the lowering sun. 

“I love you too, Ignis.”

\-- 

Th e heavy workload has  result ed in the two of you  truly cherishing the few stolen moments you can afford together. Such as being able of sleeping at his place once in a while. Well, sleep might not always be the top of the agenda.

He holds still, much to your annoyance. With legs locked around his waist you try to urge him to move, but he only chuckles and brushes his nose against the line of your jaw. His hands stroke your sides unbearably slow.

“Ignis...”, you breathe and your hands run up his bare , strong back.  Your fingers play a little with the chain of his necklace.

“There is no rush, love", he mumbles back as you feel his hard member twitch against  your lower abdomen. You wish he would have at least entered you before deciding to  just lie there exploring you.

“Not for you, maybe.” You bite his ear, a bit harder than necessary and he draws in a breath while fingers dig into your sides , taking a firm grip of your hips to keep you still . 

Ignis’ retaliation consists of placing slow kisses down your neck. He mumbles after each one – sweet nothings and love declarations, making you feel truly worshipped , melting and forgiving him for  torturing  you like this.

Once he finally enters you, you expect him to set off at the hard, fast pace he’d practiced last time and the time before  that . But his lovemaking is slow and sensual tonight, sliding in and out of you with long strides, only pushing hard the moment before bottoming each time. The moans slipping out of you seems melodious to him, encouraging him to lick and bit at your throat and down you r  collarbone. He murmurs you name time and again into your skin and you melt again against the hot breath. 

“ Ignis...! ” 

With a sudden tight grip of you r  ass, he flips you over to have you straddling him ,  without pulling out. You keep him sitting  up , rocking your hips while holding his body close to yours. Breathy, sloppy kisses. One of his hands tangling in your hair, the other helping you guide your hips. His body being flush to yours has its advantages – the stimulation of your clitoris is hard to ignore. Your head falls back as the climax hits you with warm waves, close to making your eyes roll. Ignis keeps thrusting and cups one of your breasts while watching you come down.

You give him a kiss full of love and forces him to roll over again, pinning you against the bed once more. 

“Fuck me, Ignis. Come for me.” 

He hoists  you r  legs up his shoulders, giving him opportunity to push deeper. You feel a little sore, but drink in the beauty that is Ignis Scientia. The well-shaped, sweaty body of Ignis that is holding you, pushing in and out while wearing an expression of pure lust. No, there is more than just lust.

As he  comes  he closes his eyes and bites your ankle, stifling a low groan. He stays still for a moment, panting heavily. You’ve  had  sex more than a few times since getting back together, but neither he nor you seem ever satiable. You want him again and again, till the end of days. 

He pulls out and discretely gets rid of the condom before offering you a hand  to join him in the shower, indubitably to clean up but it ends up in a rough second love act instead. In the end you both simply just stand beneath the running hot water, skin to skin, holding each other while coming down from a second orgasm. 

Your breasts are pressed flush against his skin, gathering a pool of water between them before overflowing. His abdominal muscles feel hard against yours, while his fingers make soft circles at the small of your back. Sandy strands of hair fall down over the green eyes that just cannot seem to stop watching you. Not that you blame him, you cannot really tear away your gaze from him either.

You lean your head against his shoulder with a content sigh, tightening your hold of him. The heat of the water is almost making you dizzy, but you do not mind at this time. The world could just as well end right now and you would not care.

Ignis is yours, and you are his. 

\--

The sound of Ignis’ phone is what wakes you both up. Disoriented you stare around the room, noting it is still dark. As Ignis struggles to find the device in his discarded blazer, you pick up your own from the nightstand. Squinting from the sharp light, the clock on the phone informs you that it is 03:22 in the morning. Furrowing your brows, you have little time to contemplate before your own mobile starts its melodic ringing. 

It is from the Kingsglaive  h eadquarters.

\--

Before  Ignis steps out of the elevator, at the floor his meeting is taking place , he steals a kiss, tenderly mumbling loving words into it.  He then turns and  make s  haste  down the corridor  – the council has been called in for the emergency.

By 04:15, all available Glaives have reported in.  The  Kingsglaive  is  not expected to be fully numbered until 06:00. Those of you who are  present  are facing a stern, impassive Titus  Drautos . This is your pack of wolves, yet it has started to feel as if you are drifting away from them, and you are not alone. The groups within the organisation have become more prominent, tension increasing. But right in this moment you are truly an integrated force, ready to move in symbiosis **.   **

“A larger Magite k -fleet has been spotted northeast of one of our postings in Galahd. All senior staff are to deploy  immediately, armed and ready for battle.  Junior officers will remain here , supervised by Second Lieutenant Talon. Your duty  is patrolling of the Citadel and to be on standby for possible search-and-rescue. ” The man gives you a quick look  before returning to face the rest . “ This is  not your run of the mill  MTs – this is an army, and they have brought daemons with them. Vehicles are leaving in ten minutes. For  h earth and  h ome. ”

The reply  comes in a unified swiftness. “For  h earth and  h ome!”

As the words leave your mouth, you are not sure if you are relieved or upset at being ordered to stay  behind.

** \-- **

“I admit I am selfishly grateful you were not be sent out on the field.” Ignis is speaking in a low voice, having pulled you into a secluded area for a brief moment. You swallow and hold his hand to you r  cheek, grasping for  t he safety of having him close.

“I should be there.  The healers are wrong, my shoulder is good enough. ”

The first teams shipped out several hours ago, and the lack of information is driving you mad while you are patrolling the perimeters of the Citadel.

He does not reply, knowing there is little argument that would change your mind. Instead he kisses you.

“I have been ordered by the King to stand by Noctis’ side, along with  Gladio .  Noct  is being escorted to the Citadel right now. I need to go meet him.”

You nod and kiss him back. 

“I love you, Ignis.”

“And I you, darling.” He gives you a last, soft but tired ,  smile before disappearing in the direction of the garage.

\--

The troops, or what is left of them,  that  return s  two days later are a former shelf of themselves. A limping  Libertus  has you close to crying; whether it is from fear of him being injured or relief of him being alive, you are not sure of. He gives you an encouraging thumbs up  from the stretcher  before being taken away to the healers. You decide to join some of the others by a table further down the large hall.

“The size of it”,  Pelna’s  face is  hard to read, going back and forth from blank to angry . “I thought they had captured Bahamut himself. Nothing can take down that thing.”

Astra mostly looks  solid  angry, clenching and releasing her fists.

“Why would they retreat if they have that beast on their side?  It makes no sense. ”

“Was it to test their strength?” You watch Astra and she shrugs.  Luche  falls down on the chair next to you, having finished his debriefing.

“More like showing it off,  trying to scare us”, he snorts. 

“Where’s Nyx?” You look around the busy loading bay, where Glaives are taking care of weapons, getting rid of used supply, filling up trucks with new ones. It is mostly the junior officers, but some senior ones have stayed behind instead of  having a well-earned shower and rest. 

“Being reassigned”, mutters Astra and gets a confused stare from you.

“What?”

“He disobeyed a direct order to retreat”,  Pelna  fills in. “Saved  Libertus  fr om being daemon snack , but gets punished.”

“But we need every Glaive we got?!” You watch him in disbelief, and then hear  Luche  from your right.

“Yeah, but he still went against a direct order.  So ,  he’s being debriefed and getting new orders from the Captain now.”

You frown, head spinning from all the information you try to process. Something larger has to be coming, and the Captain chooses to bench one of your best. 

\--

A few days later, and you are sitting in Ignis’ car, being dropped of f  at the Glaive’s wing. He looks tired, exhausted nearly.  You worry he might not eat enough either.

“Ignis”, you carefully run your fingers down the line of his jaw.

He cups his gloved hand over yours, kissing your palm.

“There is unfortunately naught I can tell you ;  I have been excluded from most meetings these last few days. Whatever the council  is  discussing is not for Noctis’ ears. The only thing I know is there was an envoy from  Niflheim  here yesterday. No one is certain how they made it to the Citadel.”

“An envoy?” There is a renewed understanding for his worries. If the Niffs could enter Insomnia and get all the way to the Citadel unnoticed, what else were they doing? You watch the worried lines in his face. Oh gods, how you wish to kiss all his concerns away. But the world does not work that way.

“We’re assembling soon, getting briefed about the current situation by  Drautos .”

“And I shall get Noctis. We have been summoned by the King. A rare occurrence as of late. I meet  Noct’s  father  even more  than he does, thus I fear the meeting might be somewhat awkward  between father and son .”

You give him a  quick kiss before you jump out of the vehicle and watch Ignis speed off to his next destination.

\--

You enter just as Crowe comes running from the training area, with Nyx and  Libertus  in tow. Together with the rest of the Glaives, you all stare at the TV-monitor hanging high on the wall, not quite believing what you hear.

_ “Things were hectic today as the Lucian government  _ _ announced full acceptance of what some are  _ _ criticising _ __ _ as the unilateral  _ _ peace terms proposed by Chancellor  _ _ Izunia _ _  of  _ _ Niflheim _ _.” _

What was happening? Did Ignis know of this? Would he have told you if he did? You keep staring at the screen.  The presenter on LN24 News looks so calm as he speaks. It is all surreal.

_“_ _The signing of the truce will see power over all Lucian territories transferred to the Empire, with the sole exception of Insomnia. In return,_ _Niflheim_ _guarantees the safety of Insomnia and_ _its_ _citizenry as well as a cessation to all hostilities, bringing a decisive end to this long and bitter war.”_    
   
Crowe glares at the screen for a moment before speaking with a voice dripping of raw bitterness. 

“ All that fighting we did. All for nothing. ”

It could not be, but you are not given any more time think before Captain  Drautos  comes bursting into the hall. The look on his face is as close to a wild one you have ever seen on him – he did not know until recently either. Then Ignis must have been clueless too.

“ Glaives ”,  Drautos  voice echoes. “ Assemble in the briefing room. Now !”

Giving each other unreadable looks, you all head to the room.

You see Astra standing among the gathered soldiers, by Axis’ side as always. She appears livid underneath the collected  appearance , you notice it by the way her cheeks are reddening.

Drautos  wastes no time but gets straight to the point. “ The king has spoken, and you have heard. All lands beyond the Wall are to be relinquished to the Empire. ”

You clench your jaw; all lands, not only Galahd, but  Cleigne ,  Duscae  and the others too. It would make the empire practically the sole ruler of this continent, having already  annexed  Accordo .

“Will no regions be spared?”  Luche  speaks up from close to Astra, and  Drautos  turns to him. His answer is very  concise .

“ None. ”

“But your home’s out there too!” Supported by his crutches,  Libertus  steps forward with anger and frustration on clear display in his face.  Drautos  remains however unmoved.

“ It is. ”

The indifference from your Captain does nothing to calm the crippled man.

“ Why would the king do this?! ”

Drautos has seemingly had enough of the situation and barks back: “Because it will end thus dann war.” He then turns. “Crowe!”   
   
“Sir!” She immediately stands up straighter where she is next to you.

“ Prepare to deploy. You ’r e being sent to infiltrate Tenebrae. ”

You watch  Drautos  with raised eyebrows, and Crowe seems just as perplexed.

“ Tenebrae, sir? ”

“M ission details are classified. Report to my office for briefing in 30 minutes. ”  Drautos  eyes the crowd before stopping on the proclaimed war hero. “ And, Nyx... You ’ re off the West gate. Y ou’ ve been reassigned to the castle guard.  You too, Talon. You’ve been spending some time patrolling there already, so you should know your way around by now. ” He turns and starts walking away, leaving a frustrated group of Glaives. “ That is all. ”

The  captain  has barely  left the room before  Libertus  starts jumping towards  Luche . “ So, this is what you were talking about,  Luche ? ”

The other man shrugs and looks mildly interested in the entire situation. “ You heard the Captain. This wasn ’ t our decision to make. ”

“ Luche ”, you begin, but are quickly interrupted by a furious  Libertus .

“Not ours to make? Those are our homes out there! Our people! And you’re just gonna go along with this and abandon them?!”   
   
“If we don’t go along with them the Empire will unleash all hell on Insomnia”, Luche glares back at him and has to jump backwards when Libertus comes flying his way.

“W e ’ ll unleash it right back at  ‘ em ! ”

Nyx, you and Crowe are quickly there to stop him from actually punching the other man.

“ Easy, easy. H e’ s not the enemy. ” Nyx has an arm in front of  Libertus , stopping him from any more charges.  As things are getting worse by the minute – enter  Tredd Furia .  The  readhead  has a smug look on his face as he speaks:

“ Do n’ t you get it? We ’ re nothing to them. Rats, snuck in from beyond the Wall. ” He waltzes around the room, accompanying his words with dramatic gestures. You feel sick just watching him. “ Sure, they had a use for us... when they  realised  we could work their magic. ”

Tredd  walks up to you and give you a cold, askew smirk. “So ,  they handpicked us from all the other rats out there and just let us nibble away at his royal majesty’s precious power. But as soon as this war’s all over...” He turns back to Nyx. “It’s back to the sewers for all of us. That means you too, hero.” 

He fires off a demeaning look at  Libertus . “ You missing home so much,  Libertus , then why don ’ t you and Nyx head on back? I ’ m sure  Niflheim  will welcome you with open arms. ”

This time you have to make a leap for Nyx as he quickly shoves  Tredd .

“You’ve got a home out there too. Or did you forget?” He lets go of the troublemaker, who just turns to shrug and spit in front of him. As  Tredd  walk s  out the room, you notice Axis,  Luche  – and Astra following him. 

“ Y ou too?” You look after her, and she turns for a brief moment.  Her auburn eyes are burning.

“They. Killed. Val. And the king is just going to let it all be for nothing. All we did to keep our homes safe.” She is positively seething, the words poisonous  daggers thrown at anyone coming in her way. 

“Even if there’s peace? The very thing Val fought for?” You don’t want her to leave, you don’t want to risk losing her again. But she  goes after  the others.

Once the door closes after them,  Libertus  throws one of his crutches to the flow with a loud  clank.

“ Damn it !  I’m not  gonna  let it end like this!”

You stare at the wall without actually looking, turning your fists into angry, confused balls. Why was the king just giving up?

\--

The planned signing is only a week away when Crowe approaches you  in the locker room . You frown at her  casual attire  as she goes through her stuff,

“You leaving now?” You put down the weapon you have been polishing, watching her nod.

“ It will be announced later today that  Lady  Lunafreya Nox Fleuret  is to be wed to Prince  Noctis , peace terms of  Niflheim .”  She cocks a hip and rests a hand  on it while giving the inside of her locker a last look before locking it.

“What?” You crease your brows. “It’s not like she’s theirs to give away.  She’s not a  _ thing _ .”

“It’s how it is”, Crowe sighs and puts on her jacket. “Anyway, I’m to escort her , so the lovebirds can be married in secret instead. Alright kid, I’m off to see Nyx and  Libertus  before I leave. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” 

\-- 

"When will you be leaving?" You let a finger make twirls on  the clothed  chest. The arm around your  waist  pull s  you slightly closer.  You had let him know you knew immediately after entering his apartment. Because who else would be escorting the princely groom if not his retinue?

"First thing in the morning, once we're done cleaning out  Noct's  apartment", he murmurs into your ear, tracing small kisses down your neck. " I already drove  Noct’s  car to the Citadel. Captain  Drautos  wishes to use it when the delegates arrive.  Where will you be stationed during the ceremony?"

He reluctantly lets you go to continue with his preparations – packing essential cooking wares and  supplies for the road trip.

"For now, it seems I'll be on guard duty at the Citadel."

“Ah, keeping a close eye on our esteemed  _ guests _ , I presume.”  He gives you a quick glance as he stands next to you, searching for something.  You  heave yourself up on the counter top, nudging his leg with a toe.

“Something like that, I suppose. And keeping an eye on Nyx , he got in trouble for disobeying direct orders.”  You make a grimace and brushes away some invisible lint from your pants.

Ignis frowns at this. “ Assuming from your expression,  you do not  agree with the Captain’s decision . ”

“I do not.”

Ignis walks over to a cupboard, taking out  a large amount of his stock of canned Ebony. It makes you  s mile a little.

“ Violating direct orders are a serious offense”, continues Ignis. “He’d be glad not to be court-martialled.  Our superiors are there to lead us.”

It is your turn to wear the sceptical face. “He went back to save  Libertus , offing a Cerberus in the process. I’d call that  damage control, seen to how many we lost on the field. Wouldn’t you turn  to save , say,  Gladio ? Or , I  dunno , me?”

There is an almost inaudible sigh as he turns to you with a  tired  smile.  Placing himself safely between your legs, he kisses you  lightly. “I would cross this star  to save you.”

“As long as  Noct  isn’t in danger”, you add, a bit more serious and he  watches you.

“Yes , quite  right.” Ignis  sighs and  gives you another  soft  peck on the mouth .

“I wish you could be at my disposal instead”, you mutter in a voice both  gentle and annoyed. You feel the quiet chuckle  when he puts his arms around you. 

“Is that so?”, he murmurs into your ear , and adds almost  purringly : “And what would you have me do, mistress?”

A shiver travels down your spine and you cannot help the lopsided smile; you enjoy this playful side of Ignis.  You lean back  and he puts his hand s  on either side of you, on the counter, efficiently  trapping  you while continuing the act.

“How may this royal servant be of use,  mistress?” Ignis brushes his nose against yours.

“Well, I don’t know if a mere servant could actually handle me.”

A startled laughter escapes you as Ignis swiftly, and with some force, slides you down from the counter and flips you to have your stomach against it, efficiently pinning your hands to the surface with his own strong ones. You feel his breath as he speaks close to your ear.

“Is that so ?” 

He captures both of your hands with a single one, releasing his other for other mission. You feel him take a firm, but not cruel, grip of your hair, using gentle force to reveal your neck to him. His mouth is soon everywhere, kissing and sucking. Breathy moans leave you and you push back, feeling him roll his hips against you, the undeniable erection hard against you. His free hand moves from you and you hear the tell-tale sound of his belt being unbuckled. The noise sends pleasant shivers through your body and you eagerly try to wriggle your hands free, set on helping yourself off with your pants.  However, Ignis keeps his firm grip of you.

“Is it not a servant’s job to see to his mistress’ needs?” 

You groan at his teasing, turning your head to punish him – his rolled - up sleeves reveal a bare underarm that you dig your teeth into.  He hisses but refuses to let you go, instead forcing down your pants – finally.

The sharp ringing of his phone sobers you both up instantly. You sigh with a groan, and you can swear Ignis is throwing it  murderous  looks as you watch him pick it up while you pull up your trousers again. 

Ignis picks up the phone and answers with a chill to his voice. “Yes?” He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Have you even started cleaning yet, or are you busy playing? Fine, I’ll pick up food on my way over, but do please start packing.”

He hangs up and you watch him buckle his belt.

“So, no fun?” 

He gives you a strained smile. “ Unfortunately  not. I will drive you home, on the way  over  to Noct’s. He just got dropped off a moment ago by your Glaive comrade.”

Ignis steps forward and holds you tenderly, all the raw heat between you subsided. 

“I fear this will be the last we’ll see of each other until I am back.” He leans his forehead against yours. “At most, it should only be for a couple of weeks.”

“Feels like a lifetime”, you mumble. There is a strong scent of Ebony coming from him, mixed with his cologne. 

“It does”, he concurs and kisses your temple. “But once I am back, and there is peace, I hope to see more of you.”

Ignis straightens and fishes for something from the pocket inside his jacket, and then presents you with the same key you gave back earlier this year. You smile and are about to take it when his fingers curl around it for a moment. Puzzled, you look up in his eyes. 

“This is not only me giving you access to my apartment...” He takes your hand and gently puts the key in it. “This is not only me  hoping  to see you here more often, but also ... a wish. That you may consider moving in with me, once everything is more stable.”

You stare up at him, key now safely in your hand, and the silliest grin spreads across your face before you throw your arms around his neck.

“ Of course  I’d want to”, you say, voice being muffled against his skin. 

Following him out of the apartment, you almost feel like flying. Only almost. Because, despite the joy of perhaps soon being able to share a home with Ignis, something feels amiss. It might be that your own, former, home – the rest of Lucis – will be in the hands of the Empire. Or it might  just be  _ that _  feeling – that whenever something goes well, it will always, undoubtedly, eventually go to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for any inconsistency and/or typos, rushed a bit while looping "Kingsglaive" in the background as I wrote. 8) <3 This part is soon done! And I am working with both the last chapters of this, and with the new ones of the upcoming part.
> 
> Also, I am shuffling around bits and pieces regarding the timeline, to make it fit a bit better but without ruining too much of the canon.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!


	16. The Fall of Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Prince has left, the Oracle arrived and the Kingsglaive are deployed.

May, a few days before the signing

 

You run, darting through the long, dimly lit hallways, led by Libertus’ shouts. You catch the tail-end of him yelling at a physician of some sort. You wish for it to be a surgeon, but why would he be in the cellar?   
   
"What examination? What is going on?!" Libertus uses a crutch to push the man aside and you see Nyx coming from the other end of the hall, quickly taking a grip of his friend.   
   
"Hey, take it easy big guy!"   
   
"What’s happening, where is she?" You hurry to their sides, receiving a frustrated look from the masked physician.Libertus looks as if all air has gone out of him and Nyx helps support him. 

"These bastards rushed Crowe in there the moment she got back. And now they won’t let me in to see her."   
   
You throw Nyx a glance and he nods, then does the same to Libertus and the three of you hurry inside the examination room. To hell with rules.   
   
The masked man calls after you: "Wait!"   
   
The view awaiting inside throws you straight back to the battlefield where you tried to get life into Valerio. You do your best to set aside the flashes of memories - this is about Crowe, not Val. She lies pale and nude in a body bag only open enough to reveal her head. Lib drops his crutches and rushes over to her as fast as he can limp, other medicinal staff ready to catch him if he falls, but not from stopping him from reaching her.    
   
You stay next to Nyx, staring down into Crowe's emotionless face. There are strange, black markings coming from her eyes. As is she has cried tears of tar or something. The smell emitting from her is foul, a mixture of decay and trash.    
   
Libertus cries openly in front of you, gently caressing Crowe’s face with a shaking hand. Mourning the loss of someone he has considered a sister for so long. 

\--

   
Footsteps are approaching and you look up when Nyx does. Captain Drautos with assistant have joined the three of you in the outdoor training area, and he takes a box from the younger Glaive before handing it to Nyx.   
   
"Crowe's personal effects. Do with them as you see fit."   
   
You think his voice sounds thick, perhaps moved by the situation as well, but his face is stern as ever. Libertus does not look up from the ground, but speaks instead.   
   
“So, what kind of mission did you really send her on?" He shakes his head. "No Glaive ends up dead on a standard escort."   
   
Frowning, you watch him. You are not sure you would classify smuggling the hostage Oracle to a secret location as "standard escort", but refrain from telling him so.   
   
“I’ll see the armistice does not interfere with a full investigation." Drautos gives the empty training area a look before returning it to Libertus. "She was a good soldier. Her death will not go unanswered."   
   
A clinical answer, making it sound like she was anyone. You dislike that and bite inside your mouth. As the Captain leaves, Nyx and you hear Libertus let out a short huff of air. He still refuses to look at either of you, as if trying to keep his vision clear from distractions.   
   
“What a life, huh?" There is clear tone of bitterness. “She was brought up an orphan. Run out of her village. I still remember the first time I saw her. Scrawny little thing..."   
   
There is a sniffle from him, and you feel your own throat growing thick. First Valerio, now Crowe. Dammit.   
   
“...All covered in dirt. Not a friend in the world. But those eyes... damn.” The raw pain in his face is excruciating to see. You cannot remember ever seeing neither him in a state like this. "There was something about those eyes."   
   
Libertus pauses, sniffling for a moment. Rage is starting to burn in his eyes, fuelled by the sorrow.   
   
“She deserved better. And I would've done anything to give it to--” His voice breaks. A moment later he rips off the badge from the shoulder of his uniform, forcefully throwing it down the pit in front of you. With much struggle, and painful grimaces, he gets to his feet.

“ Libertus, wait.” Nyx puts the box down at his side but the other man does not take notice of him.

“ Libertus! We need to stick together.” You get up to follow, rec ei ving an ag g ressive grunt back and him trying to shove you away.

_ “ _ _ You _  of all people…” he mutters and Nyx steps in front of him, having hurried up to his feet. The taller takes a grip of  Libertus ’ shoulders, keeping him from walking away.

“ Hey, easy now. Crowe died a Glaive. You can still honour her by fighting as one.” He lowers his arms but keeps a hand on Libertus’ chest, leaning down to look up in his eyes trying to break the man’s anger.

Libertus  snorts and  hits Nyx’ arm away.

“ You’re dumber than me sometimes, you know that?” He glares  daggers  at his friend and gesticulates wildly with his hands.  “ Don’t you get it?  _ Lucis _  killed Crowe.”

Libertus  turns his head to look straight at you.  “ And they killed Val.”

“ The Niffs killed them”, you argue back, getting angry yourself.  “ The Niffs sent those daemons after us.”

Libertus  shakes his head and jumps past Nyx, stopping again a few steps away.

“ Only because Lucis handed them to the Niffs on a silver platter. Maybe you should’ve  g one with your  Insomnian  nobility, fled just like the coward prince.” He then looks at Nyx.  “ And you, go back to the castle. Tell the king there’s no peace to be had from throwing the weak to the wolves. I’ll fight my own fight from here on out. See you around,  _ hero _ .”

Libertus  storms off as fast as his casted leg allows him, leaving Nyx and you to stare after him. In the periphery, you notice movement and meet  Tredd  Furia’s gloating look. Behind him Axis and another,  Sonitus , are walking away. They have witnessed it all.  You wonder where Astra might be, if she saw you too.

“ Let’s go”, you mumble to Nyx and pick up the box to give it to him. Seeing the other Glaives, he comprehends your wish to leave and just nods. None of you are in the mood for more arguments.

“ Yeah, gotta prepare for the party tomorrow anyway.”

\--

That evening you finally receive a text from Ignis, having been on the road the last couple of days. With relief you find out that they have had some car trouble with the Regalia, but pushed it and themselves into  the  safety  of  Hammerhead where they had to stay before being  able  to continue the  tomorrow .

**_ Ignis _ **

_ I do not know how he managed, but  _ _ Prompto _ _  somehow severely broke the car. I daresay we would have even reached our destination by now had we ridden  _ _ chocobos _ _  instead. Judging by  _ _ Prompto’s _ _  reaction to this suggestion, I am starting to suspect it was his plan all along. _

_ Yesterday and today we spent much time helping a Ms  _ _ Aurum _ _  and the local cook with various tasks.  _ _ Hunting the varmints has been interesting. _

_ Albeit not used to the physical strains, I must admit it refreshing to camp under the clear sky, cooking food in the wild. The outside of the Wall is simultaneously everything and nothing what I imagined. _

_ If I am not mistaken, the guests should have started arriving today, yes? _ _  I _ _  presume the  _ _ welcome festivities will be held tomorrow. _

You smile at his excitement, wishing you could share it. Silently, you wonder if he knows that  Lunafreya  is not on her way to  Altissia  at the moment, but rather tucked away somewhere in Insomnia. She had been allowed a brief visit with king Regis. The Glaives, with Nyx first and foremost,  are stationed to guard her during her stay. 

You decide not to worry him, there has to be a plan in play.

\--

The first time you see Lady Lunafreya, you lose your breath. In the darkness of the rooftop of the hotel Caelum Via, where the party is taking place, she is a being of light. You don’t know whether it is her white dress or her status of oracle, but you can swear she is radiating with a soft light. You see her walking up to Nyx, talking to him while he is trying to remain professional and invisible to the other guests – he is a guard after all, not there to be seen or heard.

To your left, you see the Chancellor of  Niflheim  –  Ardyn Izunia . He is watching the King and Emperor  Aldercapt  being busy in making very strenuous small talk. The tight jaw of Regis says everything about his feelings, and it worries you. Tomorrow is signing day, yet the fireworks spreading colour over the city seems not quite able to spread light over the situation. The happiness of people partying down in the city centre has not reached these people, the ones in charge of bringing peace between  Niflheim  and Lucis.

To your right you see Captain  Drautos  close to the stairs, not wearing any emotions. Some other Glaives are stationed here tonight as well, but not Libertus. He resigned as soon as he could yesterday, and it saddens you to have lost him as a comrade, all while still happy he is alive at least. 

You see the chancellor raise his glass with a pleased look on his face, now watching Lady  Lunafreya  and Nyx. You frown slightly while observing the man with reddish, violet hair. This has all been his terms, this is the man orchestrating all of this.

\-- 

You have already reported to your station when the call comes the next morning – an order from Pelna to immediately assemble by the Kingsglaive’s wing. You are surprised to see Nyx standing in front of everyone. 

“Where’s  Drautos ?” You look around, seeing your comrades as puzzled as you are.

“What if this is a diversion?”

 Nyx shakes his head. “Not likely. Tenebrae’s princess is onboard.”

You are all getting ready, armouring up while Nyx briefs you.

“We’ve got two jobs. Save her. And stop those Niff ships from flying on Insomnia.”

“You make it sound easy”, you mutter and tighten your bootstraps. 

Luche  turns to everyone. “We go in teams. Standard infiltrate and extract.”

You glance over at Astra and she gives you a nod – the two of you are the ideal pair-up. 

Luche  turns to Nyx. “Nyx, you command. We’ll follow.” 

Nyx turns, looking slightly stressed by the situation. You do not blame him.

“You got this, Sir”, you offer him a quick smile as you give your weapons  a  last check.  Luche  nods.

“The Glaive stands together, captain or no. For hearth.” He raises a fist to the sky, followed by the rest of you.

“And home!” 

\-- 

The signing of the treaty is only mere minutes away when Astra and you have successfully snuck aboard one of the imperial airships. The loud engines easily mask any sound of footsteps. Astra and you find cover behind what look like crates of weapons, staying hidden until Nyx gives you new orders.

_ “Ulric reporting. Six  _ _ Niflheim _ _  airships confirmed inbound for Insomnia.” _

You grit your teeth and hear Astra breathe a soft: “Fuck.” 

So much for peace.

The two of you start moving through the shadows, quickly searching the corridors for the lost Oracle. They are eerily empty for a warship.  Pelna  echoes your worries when you hear him on the com.

_ “Nyx, this doesn’t feel like a war fleet.” _

Astra and you continue. Where is everyone?  Pelna breaks  the silence again.

_ “I think I might’ve found her. I got a guarded door here. Two Niff  _ _ MTs. _ _  What’s the plan?” _

Nyx answers a second later: 

_ “Hold position.” _

_ “Arrived at destination. High possibility of target in the vicinity.”  _

_ “Proceed to secure. It’s going to mean a fight. Keep it quiet and keep it confined.”  _

“We’re heading your way”, Astra speaks into the earpiece and you nod, following her. __ Nyx continues:

_ “ _ _ Pelna _ _ , you’re clear to engage. But keep it quiet. I’m on my way too.”  _

A minute of silence, then  Pelna  is heard again, with news making you sigh with relief.

_ “Target confirmed. She’s unharmed.”  _

“There in two minutes”, Astra mumbles into the com, moving swiftly and taking position by an archway leading into some sort of loading bay.  You follow her, heart starting to pick up speed.

_ “Things are about to get ugly over here.”  _

You frown ,  and  moments later  hear Nyx say:  _ “ _ _ Pelna _ _ , get out of there. It’s a trap.” _

There is a loud clash from somewhere inside the airship, followed by screams. You stare before you and yell into the earpiece. “What’s going on?! Nyx?!  Pelna ?!” __

_ “There’s something going on below deck.” _

It  is difficult to make out who of your comrades said that . Astra and you enter the bay, and you notice there are several smaller aircrafts in there. While running on a platform above, you are suddenly yanked back with force. You stare back at Astra, who has her dagger ready in front of her. You quickly look back when you hear voices, and instantly become a witness to a  g laive being cut down by a comrade.  You are about to scream when  Astra swiftly wrestles you to the floor and yells to the charging  g laive:

“I got her, get the rest!” They nod and run off.

When Astra jumps off you, you hurry to your feet and stare at her.  Astra sends a glance the way the other glaive disappeared before returning to you. __

“Get the fuck OUT! NOW”, yells Astra, desperation showing in her face. She takes a step forward, trying to scoot you in the direction of an Imperial aircraft down in the shuttle bay.

“ Wai \- “. Then it dawns upon you and you narrow your eyes dangerously. Between gritted teeth, you spit out: “You fucking traitor.”

Astra makes no attempt to explain herself. “Go, get out of here before anyone sees you.”

You quickly assess the situation, planning a path to the small aircraft below deck. But before you commence your escape, you rapidly turn towards Astra. Either you’re quick, or she’s not even trying at this point, but the hit you land in her face is hard and makes the bones in her face creak. 

“Now it’ll at least look like you tried to fight me”, you hiss before turning on your heels , and the words leaving you next are coming straight from your heart . “I’ll end you if I ever see you again.”

\--

As you, somewhat bumpily – you never really took flying classes after all -, make your way towards Insomnia, you see the Wall coming down –  efficiently opening a path for anyone to enter.

“Oh no”, you whisper, staring at the siege unfolding. It was a trap all along. The Niffs are charging, spreading chaos along the streets with the help of MTs and daemons. Explosions are seen from around the streets of the Citadel – and soon from the castle itself.

A loud bang and your small, stolen aircraft shudders violently before starting to spin.  It might have been a missile, or perhaps a daemon. It does not matter a s it crashes down , and  you hurry to make your way to the shaft, forcing it open and rapidly warping away towards the ground as the flying ship continues towards a tall building. You had hope d  to land  in  a town square  or something , but that option was taken away from you. 

You roll a few times landing on the ground, coughing intensely as the air is knocked out of you. On wobbly legs you get up and assess the situation best you can – people are running everywhere, screaming, trying to find a way to safety. No one of them had any idea. Or perhaps they just lived on hope.

A shadow moves in the corner of your eye, and you just about manage to put a shield up to escape being cut in two. You stare into the face of Axis, and with a forceful push you get yourself a bit of space, enough to warp a bit away.

"What the actual hell, Axis?!” You stare wildly at the man who is charging  at  you again.  You should have seen this coming.  Your fellow glaive takes advantage of your shock, throwing you to the ground once he emerges behind you. His dagger flashes before your eyes and as through pure intuition you manage to get hold of his arm before your throat is slit, but without power to throw him off. Your own dagger lies too far away to reach, having been knocked away when he forced you to the ground and you can’t tear away in attempt to warp to it.

"No time for explanations, sweetie." Axis grits his teeth and pushes more weight into his weapon, the blade inching closer to the soft skin of the throat.  “I know she let you go, but you should have seen how easily she slit the throat of one of the junior Glaives. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of Astra.”

"You. Damn. Traitor." You feel your arms start to shake ;  the man has the upper hand while pinning you to the ground. The blade pierces your skin close to the collarbone. Fuck. So, this was how you are supposed to go then, killed by someone you thought was your comrade. At least the prince  i s out of the city. At least Ignis  is  safe. You stare Axis straight in his eyes, refusing to die hiding. 

Axis’ expression suddenly goes soft, before blood gushes out of his mouth and down your face. Then his body is thrown off  you,  to the ground.  Quickly, you try to clear your vision before staring at your saviour.

" Libertus !" You let out a faint gasp, thanking the Gods for his presence. He helps you up, bracing himself  on  his crutches. "What the hell is happening?!" 

"The resistance..." He draws his brows together. "They are just prepared to lie down in front of the Niffs." He starts walking, as fast as his injured leg allows him to. " And apparently some of our ‘comrades’ have switched sides.  You need to leave, now!"

You try your best to wipe away the blood of Axis from your face. "But the glaive-"  You are  cut short.

"There's nothing left here, get out of the city, help as many civilians as  possible  and then get as far away as you can. You got family left in Lestallum, right? Go there!"  Libertus  swings around and gives you a long, hard look. "Insomnia is lost. Go before all roads are closed off. There's still a prince out there who one day will need our support."

You just watch him  – is this the same  Libertus  who cursed the royalty and their entire existence only days ago? You decide to not argue, and i nstead ask: "What about you?"

The man limps towards a small truck and fling the door open, letting out a sound of triumph - the keys are still in the ignition. "I'm  gonna  go find Nyx . " 

“Last I heard he got to the Oracle”, you say, interrupted by another explosion from down the street.

Libertus  takes a seat and puts the crutches away before turning to you again. "Time to be a hero. See you in this life or the beyond."

“Nyx and you better join me in Lestallum.”  You raise your hand in a salute.  You are still a soldier, fighting for Insomnia and the rest of Lucis.  "For hearth and home."

Libertus  lets out a tell-tale ‘tsk’, but grins. "For hearth and home." 

\--

You cough severely as a cloud of sand sweeps by you all, a group of people sitting on the back of a lorry. It has been some five years since you last travelled these roads, having forgotten how barren this part of Lucis is.

“You okay?” A raven-haired man in his thirties offers his water bottle. You take it and devour a few big mouthfuls appreciatively before handing it back. 

“Thanks”, you reply hoarsely, wiping the sweat on your brow with the back of the hand. It is hot despite the wind, as you drive past Hammerhead. You cannot help looking for the Regalia, though in vain. The retinue is likely in Galdin Quay, or even on the boat to Altissia. At least they should be. A thought goes to Lady Lunafreya; may she have been delivered safely out of the city.

You have been told that there will be a stopover somewhere soon, to pick up some much-needed food before continuing to  Lestallum . The driver, a large, muscular woman, anticipates that you will arrive the day after. She simply refuses driving after the sun started to set, and you don’t have much energy to fight her on that. 

You had run, warped, crawled your way out of the city, before the blockades had been established. On your way you had found a woman and her 4-year-old daughter, the thirtyish raven-haired man and an older couple. They had all aided each other, leaning on your fighting capabilities to fight off rogue daemons which had begun infesting Insomnia. 

You lean your head back and shut your eyes to protect them from the scorching sun. It is about lunch now. For the past 18-20 hours, life has been hell for the  Insomnian  residents. 24 hours ago, you had been flinging a sandwich into your mouth, getting ready to stand guard at the Citadel. Truce had been within grasp. For a while, you and many among you had actually believed that the war might come to an end. 

In retrospect it seems to have been a foolish and naïve notion.

In exhaustion you go through your pockets yet again, as if your mobile might have miraculously re-appeared. In a moment of weakness, you had picked it up to.... To what? Warn Ignis and the rest of the retinue? To say some last words? It had cost you the phone as a pair of skulking daemons had charged while you were off-guard. A dropped cell phone, a nasty cut on your left arm and a rushed withdrawal was the outcome of the encounter.

The orb of anguish takes shape inside your stomach again. Ignis will think you have fallen in combat. Maybe you ought to have, King Regis is dead. You know this, because you felt the connection to the Crystal disappear in mid combat. The least his Kingsglaive could have done was to sacrifice themselves for him. You feel useless; you still have your daggers, but no warping. The memory of Libertus’ words slaps you back to reality – you had fought, you had been given a chance to fight again. To retreat, recover and retaliate. 

You open your eyes and glance at the other passengers. They seem less ruffled now, but still distraught and frightened, naturally. The raven-haired man notices you peek and presents his hand: “Denny.”

You take his hand in a feeble attempt to shake it but decide just to give it a squeeze. “I’m... Red.” You decide to go with the nickname for now. A sting of sadness hits you – the nickname Crowe gave you on your first day.

“Thanks for your help back there, I would have been done for if you hadn’t shown up.” Denny looks impressed as he continues: “Those were some damn skilled moves, daemon didn’t stand a chance.”

You try to shrug, but your body hurts too much, and a whimper  escapes  instead. “Well, I was trained to battle.” You point to your ragged uniform. “ Kingsglaive .” 

Denny lets out a low whistle. “Well, too damn lucky Insomnia got you!”

You do not answer. The bitter thought of Axis trying to kill you sullies your pride of the Kingsglaive. Axis and possibly many other with him, whom you have considered family, all of them turncoats. Your brothers and sisters, torn apart by betrayal. Who could you trust, should you meet them in the rest of Lucis? Libertus yes, but who else? Astra is one of  _ them _ , yet let you go.

You turn back to Denny. “Do you have a phone?” He looks at you before fishing up a black smartphone from inside his jacket, unlocks it and hands it to you. 

“For my knight in shining armour, anything.”

As you are about the enter the number a sudden realization sweeps over you: you can’t remember Ignis’ number, or any other of the retinue for that matter. After a brief second of hesitation you enter another number and wait while three signals go through before someone picks up on the other side.

“Mum.” You are quiet for a second, trying to stifle a sob. “It’s me. I’m coming home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop! Only a few chapters left (added one), and things are happening rapidly now. Again, thank you so much for reading, and for the comments, they truly shed light on my days! <3


	17. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lestallum is different from Insomnia in nearly every possible way, and it certainly has one thing the Crown city did not - your family.

**May 20th**  
Straight from the parking lot, to the right of the small kiosk, up the small flight of stairs, following the narrow alley to the left. Familiar smells of street food, doors in mismatched colours, blistering pipes full of fuming steam everywhere. And there, a brown door matching a dual-coloured, dirty, three-story concrete complex. You knock softly on the door, not daring to open it yourself. You hear the lock turn and then, peeking from the other side of the door, is a pair of eyes, a twin pair of your own.

  
“Sister!” Your teenage little brother throws his arms around you. He has grown so tall, easily looking down at you from above. His curly, shoulder-length blond hair tickles your face.

“Luca”, you warmly embrace him and have to fight the tears. Not until now you actually realise how much you have missed him. “I’m so happy to see you.”  
Luca carefully pulls away to look at you.

“Oh, sis, mum and I cried all night after you called, we had to call Osgar and tell him too! He was on his way from Meldacio but had to stay because of some super-important mission. Like, what the hell.” Luca keeps rambling and gesturing, unable to contain his joy. The thought of your big brother coming rushing from Meldacio because of you is a comforting one. Before you have time to wonder about your mother, a familiar voice comes floating.

“My strong daughter”, a blond woman emerges from the stairs leading down to the hallway where the you two siblings stand. You softly gaze up towards your mother before falling into her arms.

“Mum”, a sob flees your lips and Olivia Talon affectionately brushes your hair. No words are really needed.

“You did good, you were strong and brave. Now, lets get you out of these rags and into something more comfortable.”

Your brother cooks you all dinner, while your mother sits down with you and just patiently listens to everything you are willing to speak about. The day you said farewell to Ignis, the day you stood guard, only to be deployed for a mission at to fail. All while the world fell around you. You tell them how you were rescued and in turn became a saviour for a group of people in need of help. About the betrayal, and on the inability to contact Ignis. Finally, as you have almost passed out on the couch, Olivia leads you up the two flights of stairs, to the very top of the building and helps you into bed.

That night you enter a deep, dreamless sleep while laying safely in your old room, tucked between familiar sheets.

\--

When you wake up the next morning, you can smell bacon and eggs. You stretch with a yawn and glance out of the small window next to your bed. The alleyway is relatively calm, but the busy sounds from the bazar makes it feel like nothing has really changed. There is no panic here, at least not yet. As if Insomnia was still standing strong far away in the East, protected by her Wall. You find a pair of slippers on the floor – your old, Moogle-shaped ones. You slip into them with a childish smile. It feels good to be home.

“Good morning, love”, greets your mother as you descend the stairs and enter the small kitchenette. “I saved you some breakfast. Though I could make you something else, it’s lunchtime already”, Olivia gives the clock on the wall a concerned look.

“It’s fine, mum”, you don’t waste any time and get right to digging into the scrambled eggs, flanked by crispy bacon. “Where’s Luca?”

Olivia washes her hands and reaches for a towel to dry them. “He’s working at the market.”

“Working? Shouldn’t he be in school?” You frown, gulping down a big mouthful of apple juice.

“The school gave everyone the next two days off, no one is really certain as to what will happen to Lestallum now that Niflheim is marching into Lucis.” Olivia sits down across from you, sipping on a mug of tea. “So far it seems as if life is going to continue as it is. We thought about trying to find a way to Accordo, but since no boats are running… well, we decided to wait a little longer.”

“The Niffs seemed to be after the Crystal”, you ponder between bites. “And the Ring. At least that’s what I heard when we stopped at a gas station yesterday.” You then look at her again. “Wait, when were the boats to Accordo suspended?”

Olivia thinks for a moment. “It might have been two, three days ago. I’m not really sure.”

You stand up quickly, almost making the chair fly backward, startling your mother in the process. This newly dawned realisation makes you hopeful and terrified at the same time. “Mum, the Prince might not have made it to Altissia. They might be stuck in Lucis still.”

\--

“You cannot just go gallivanting ‘round all of Lucis hoping you’ll run into them!”

You hear your mother, but it does not stop you from continuing to pack whatever else you might need to survive the wildlife of Lucis.

“I’m still a soldier of the crown, I owe it to the Prince... or King. I’m not actually sure what his title is now, it’s not really possible to anoint him at the moment though.” You go through your old closet – most of your clothes from before you moved should still fit somewhat, you have really mostly only gained muscles these past years.

Your mother shakes her head, just as the door to your old room flings open, revealing a heavily breathing Luca staring at the two of you.

“They... the Niffs. They put up road blocks all around Leide, no one's getting in or out there.” The teen shuffles inside on long legs, sitting down on your bed.

“They said it only radio just now, and the market it going crazy. No transports will be able to pass.”

Olivia creases her brows. “They’re shutting down food supplies too? Dammit.”

Luca shrugs, biting his lower lip. “Old man Bo in the fruits stall said so. We won’t get anything from Galdin Quay now.”

You look at them, halting your packing. “What about the farms up north? Might not be southern Leide quality, but they at least used to have good corn and wheat.”

Luca shakes his head. "Our driver is stuck on the wrong side; she was delivering stuff to a village close to the Fallgrove. We have no way of getting them ourselves.”

You look at the clothes on your hands, then put them back into your closet and get to your feet.

“I’ll go.”

They stare at you, Luca being the first to light up.

“You’ll do?!”

“What about your mission?” Your mother watches you carefully, and you give her a rueful smile.

“It would probably be suicide to try to force the blockades alone, not even able to warp or summon weapons anymore. I’ll stay here and help you out – for now. At least I’ll be doing something, and I can make some reconnaissance at the same time.”

Luca springs from the bed and gives you a hard hug. “Thank you!” He lets go and hurries to the door. “I’m gonna see if there’s any truck, or at least car, we can hire.”

You hear him sprint down the two flights of stairs with loud footsteps, shaking your head slightly. “Energetic as always, no patience at all.”

Olivia chuckles and walks up to you. “It does remind me of a certain girl. Do you remember what I told you the day you left?” Your mother takes your hand in her own and you cannot help the smile.

“Besides telling Osgar to shut up when he got mad at me?” Olivia gives you a knowing look but refrains from scolding you, and you continue: “Yeah, you said that I should forget where I came from, but never who I left.”

She pushes a strand of hair away from your eyes, placing it safely behind your ear. “And that it was alright if you got a little lost, so not to get stuck and lose your freedom. I told you to find friends who would love you even if you had nothing to give back. And despite the hardships you have been through, it seems you did find them. Especially that boy.”

Your mouth twitches with a withheld laughter; you do not really consider Ignis a boy. But she is right.

The older woman tilts her head, still holding your hand. “Sweetheart, I am glad you are staying for the time-being. More refugees will likely arrive within the next weeks, perhaps they will have more information for you. And my words still remain; forget where you came from, but not the people left supporting you. We’ll always be there for you, no matter where you go.”

\--

**June 7th**

For close to three weeks, you split your time between various tasks – working in the market, making deliveries and discreetly looking for clues as to the royal retinue’s whereabouts. Whenever the news mentions the fall of Insomnia, along with the deaths of Regis, Noctis and Lunafreya, you clench your fists. Regis is dead, that is true. But Noctis was not even in the city at the time, so you conclude that the source is not too trustworthy. Lunafreya on the other hand... You hope Nyx made it out alright with her. Hope is about the only thing you have left.

Two days ago, you turned 24, and Luca and mother celebrated with vigour. Yet, all you can think about is where you were a year ago – in The Usual Place, buying a tipsy Ignis Scientia food after guarding a ball. It feels like it has been longer. You remember him saying your face was lovely to look at. That utter, adorable dork.

A trembling voice disturbs your train of thought as you shut the door to the truck.

“Ah, back from another run, dear?”

You turn and give old man Bo a nod.

“Yeah, I’ll come by with your ginger roots later.”

The man chuckles with delight, hands behind his back. “It’s nice having you back, young lady. That older brother of yours got even grumpier when you left.”

You only smile and watch him leave, undoubtedly going to the small pub close to the market. You have just returned from another drive, and the temperature still unforgiving despite the evening hours approaching – you have forgotten just how hot summers in Lestallum are. And your first thought when you see him, is that the heat must be playing tricks on your mind, before you actually realise he is standing there, next to a guy trying to push kebabs on everyone passing by.

“Marshal!” The sight of Cor Leonis both surprises and gives you relief. The tall man turns, and it seems to take him a moment before he nods in acknowledgement.

“Lieutenant Talon, you made it out of Insomnia.”

You nod back, resisting the urge to hug the familiar face. It would be severely inappropriate, despite everything that has happened lately. And he is looking incredibly stern. Instead, you put down the large sack of potatoes on the ground. “Yes sir, thanks to Libertus, that is.” You hesitate for a split second. “Have you heard word of him, or any other Kingsglaive?”

“Of the none-traitors?” He is aware of the rebellion. Well, most people seem to be, it is a topic frequently discussed in the cities. “Libertus made it, alright. He even managed to escort the Oracle safely out of the city. Last I heard he was heading to Galahd.”

Your face lightens up. “That is incredible!”

“Nyx Ulric on the other hand…” Cor still looks sternly at you. “With the help of the Kings of Past, he managed to put a stop to Captain Drautos and save most of the city from ruin.”

The information passed to you does not process for several seconds. Your superior, your friend, Nyx, is dead, all while defending the city against your Captain, your leader. The biggest traitor of them all had been the very one protecting Insomnia. Or at least you had thought he had been. “I see…” you reply quietly. “Where is the Oracle now?”

“According to rumours, she is on her way to Altissia, still set on meeting the Prince there. Possibly to awaken the Gods as she goes, letting His Majesty accumulate their power. The plan is to take back Lucis and the Crystal.”

You swallow hard. “Is the Prince and his company safe?”

Cor lifts an eyebrow, gauging you. You realise he might not trust you, and you do not blame him.

“Sir... I know several of my former comrades abandoned their oath. But I swear, the vow I made still stands – I will fight for Lucis, I will stand by our Majesty.”

Cor scratches the scruff on his chin, finally making a decision while staring into the distance. “I met them the other day. They are chasing Royal Tombs and I sent them to take down an Imperial base next. The blockades should soon be taken care of.” He turns fully to you. “That reminds me. I came here looking for someone who could assist me, so your presence is as if the Gods planned it themselves. I need you to head out to this location and help a group of hunters I’ve recruited. You need to localize the Royal tombs in this area.” He makes a circle on a map – the south, southeast of Cleigne, below Old Lestallum and including the area between The Rock of Ravatogh and Cape Caem. “Think you can handle it?”

“Yes, sir!” Your response is that of a soldier, no hesitation. “I will head out as soon as I can get my hands on a vehicle.” Your head is spinning – the moment you have been wishing for, for these past weeks is finally happening. “In meantime, I have a request – is there any way I could please get the phone number to anyone in the Royal retinue?”

Cor cocks a brow in mild surprise.

“This isn’t the time to play fangirl, Lieutenant”, he says seriously and examines your face. “It would be best if all contact is kept strictly between the Prince and me. The longer everyone thinks him dead or in hiding, the better.”

“I understand, it’s just… It’s not the Prince himself I’m seeking to reach. I lost my phone while escaping Insomnia, and I need to get in contact with Ignis Scientia” You stare with a determined look into the Marshals eyes, a slight blush noticing on your cheeks, but you pretend not to be aware of it. “Please, Sir.” You add and let your gaze drop towards the ground.

Cor hums thoughtfully and seems to catch on. “You damn youngsters…” he finally mutters and picks out his phone, seeming to be scrolling. “Can’t find Scientia’s number, must’ve saved it to the wrong place again, I really hate this piece of… Ah, but I can get you Gladiolus’… no wait, here it is.” The Marshal shoots a glance at you, deciding you won’t misuse it before starting to read it out loud. You light up and quickly pull out your new phone, almost dropping it in the process as you write down the numbers.

Cor shakes his head and crosses his arms.

“But I expect you to carry out your mission flawlessly, no distractions. And while you’re at it, give me your contact information as well.”

“Yes, sir”, you breathe. You are at last about to hear Ignis’ voice for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters have been posted more quickly since they were written long ago, just waiting for me to catch up with the rest of the story. c: One chapter left! And it will be a bit different from the others. Might also be a short hiatus soon, or writing will at least be slower, as I'll soon have plenty of tests to mark (woop for my students going on summer break soon).
> 
> As always, thank you so, sooo much for reading! I am flabbergasted by that, actually. :') All the best! <3


	18. Igniting Dreams and Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These past months have been eventful for Ignis, to say the least. From careful wishes to dreams to nightmares.

 

 **February**  

He tightens the jacket around him as another gust of wind passes, chilling him to the bone. Once more he wishes for the scarf and umbrella safely locked in his car and curses under his breath. But there had been little choice, Noctis and the others would never have let him leave.  

Ignis’ phone chimes again and this time he takes the time to answer, but not before noticing one of the young men has had their fun chaning the name of several of his contacts. 

 **_Daddio_ **  

 _Hey_ _,_ _where_ _did_ _you_ _run_ _off to?_  

 **_Igsterminator_ **  

 _A bit_ _of_ _air, I_ _fear_ _I_ _may_ _have_ _caught_ _some_ _of_ _the_ _confetti_ _in my_ _throat_ _._   

Another message pops up, this time from, obviously, Noctis. He does not read it, but opens up his contacts to find out how much they have messed with his phone. **** With a frown he goes through them. 

Noctis –  _His_ _Royal_ _Assbutt_  

Prompto –  _Chocobutt_  

King Regis –  _Very_ _Royal Butt_  

Cor –  _Serious_ _Butt_  

Captain Drautos –  _Grumpy_ _Butt_  

His uncle -  _Polite_ _Butt_  

And then... her.  _The Chick_ _You_ _Want_.  

 **_Daddio_ **  

 _Yeah_ _, right, not_ _falling_ _for_ _that_ _,_ _Ig_ _._  

A brief smile brushes his lips; Gladiolus has always been one of the few to see past his facade. Or perhaps his bluntness is simply rough enough to break Ignis’ walls. 

 **_Igsterminator_ **  

 _I_ _need_ _to_ _speak_ _with_ _her_ _._  

They are right, he does want her. 

 _\--_  

Maybe it was for the best. He sighs and feels the shirt getting wetter by the second, his coat doing little to protect him anymore. Her flat had been dark, no one had answered the door. Perhaps she was out, perhaps she did not wish to see him. 

Instead of heading back to the train station, he starts walking. If it is to punish himself or for the diminutive chance of meeting her on the way, he does not know. 

And some blocks later, he has to squint to make sure he has seen right through his now rain-stained glasses. There is a quiet, melodious hum, and he sees the familiar shape under the large umbrella. Before he can stop himself, her name escapes his mouth, all while filling him with warmth. His might mean ‘fire’, but hers is true life to him. 

“Ignis.” She stops and peers at him from under the umbrella. There is a mild surprise in her eyes, but not any sign of repulsion. “What are you doing here?” 

“I…” Ignis watches her and clears his throat, then looks away. He decides to not be too straightforward. Not right now, her hesitance is enough to temper his desire to take her in his arms. “I was finding my way home. I do hope you will not fling daggers at me this time.” 

He wishes she would smile; he wants to wipe away all uncertainty between them. 

“Oh, okay. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”  

 She walks by, suddenly slipping and he is almost there to catch her when she regains her balance. Without a word, she continues walking. He has to say something. Anything. 

“I never looked to begin with.” He hears her draw a breath while stopping to listen. There is no turning back now, he has to tell her. “And yet I found it.” 

Her expression is not the one he had wished for; her eyes seem close to tearing up and she speaks quietly. Oh, it wounds him to see her this way. 

“We’ll only end up hurt one way or the other, don’t you see that? This time it was Valerio, next it might be I. Or you.”  

He takes a step forward, fighting the urge to hold her, to cup her face and kiss away the tears that threaten to escape her. “I don’t care.”  

Another step. 

“You said there was nothing more for me to say, that I did not do this for you.” She swallows as his eyes wander from her lips to her eyes. How he misses the feeling of her mouth on his. Of her face hidden between her locks in the morning, as she smiles once she realises he has already been awake for quite some time.  

“I stand by what I said, there is little more for you to say regarding that particular matter.” He quickly thinks, not wanting it to come out the wrong way. “Since you do not  _need_ to protect me. Albeit not my preferred method, I’d hoped for you to see that after the ordeal in the sparring halls.” He rakes a hand through his hair, letting out an exhaustion-filled sigh before continuing. Because he needs to make her see the full picture.  

“You and I could both easily get on with our lives, strong as ever and perform our duties without flaw. We could go our separate ways and never look back. But I don’t want that, and quite frankly, I don’t think you do either.” His breath is starting to even after the previous march. “No matter how long or short the time we’re given might be…” 

Ignis trails off, noticing her eyes have travelled south, now staring at his drenched clothes – his coat is open and reveals a blue, striped shirt, unbuttoned by the collarbones.  

“Is that glitter?”   

A very conspicuous tint of pink graces his face, feeling the embarrassment take hold of him. 

“I... ran away from my birthday party at Noct’s.” 

He looks into the eyes staring back at him. Then a sudden, light laughter bubbles from her, and it is amongst the most beautiful sounds he has ever heard. It makes him relax and offer her a bashful smile. 

“Sorry”, she says, and then goes quiet. She takes a few steps and Ignis suddenly finds himself standing underneath the protective dome that is her umbrella. She then offers him the handle. “Here, you must be freezing, you’re completely soaked. There’s still some way to the Citadel if you’re planning on walking the entire way.” 

“Ah, no, it is quite alright, I wouldn’t want you to get sick.” 

He watches her with softness, wanting nothing more than to touch her face. But he must not rush, there will be time. If it is meant to be.  

“You’re the one who’ll definitely get a cold, or worse.” She unwraps her scarf and stands on her toes, putting it around him before he has a chance to protest. “If you refuse to take my H2O-shield, at least take this.” 

Ignis swallows, feeling faint in her presence. Her scent wafts his way, and the warmth of her is lingering in the scarf. He knows he wants her in his life. However, he knows better than to push it – if she wishes for the same, he will be waiting for her to be ready. 

“Why?”  

“I care about you.” She looks up at him. “I always have, that’s the point.”  

“Thank you”, he mumbles, a noticeable flush on his face. He cherishes her gesture, wanting to repay it somehow. A small eternity goes by without a word, before she finally speaks up. 

“I forgot it was your birthday today, sorry.” A glance at his glitter-stained outfit and she adds: “Though, it seems the boys gave you quite the party.” 

A small huff of air escapes his nose, but he is still smiling. Her forgetting his birthday is the least of his problems. “Gladio said something about wanting to take my mind off things and invited me to a calm evening at Noct’s apartment. As I arrived, I was face to face with Prompto holding a confetti cannon. Alas, I was unable to escape it.” 

“I think the glitter makes your eyes pop”, she snickers and then look at the wet coat, cocking an eyebrow. “Did you take the train?”  

“Ah, yes.” He is blushing even harder now, contemplating whether he should tell her the truth or not. That he had come here wishing to speak to her, no, to pour his heart out to her. However, for now he shall tread lightly, fearing to scare her away if he is too blunt. This is not the time to tip his entire hand. “I haven’t been drinking, if that’s your concern. One of the  _gentlemen_  hid my car keys, determined to get me intoxicated and to dispel of the car as an excuse not to. Thus, I had to take the train... and I got off at the wrong stop, so I made it a trek.” 

There is a hint of questioning in her eyes – ah, she is too clever to fully buy his excuse – but she smiles back. Ignis may not have been drinking, but her being next to him is having an intoxicating effect on him. They will continue their conversation at another time, he hopes. 

“I fear I need to get going. As you said, it is still quite a walk back.” He takes a step back, leaving the safety beneath your umbrella. 

Ignis wonders if it is disappointment he sees in her eyes, or if it is merely his imagination. 

“Yeah, it was good seeing you.” 

He is a short distance away, mind spinning with the thoughts of her, when he hears: “Happy birthday, Ignis.”  

He looks back, watching her with love and puts a hand to his heart, giving her a soft bow with his head in thanks. He watches her leave, fully realising he hates to see her go. 

\-- 

 

 **Late April**  

These past months have been pure bliss, despite the ever-increasing workload. Ever since that fateful party, thanks to a pushy Gladiolus, the relationship between Ignis and her has been growing stronger than it ever was before. He finds comfort in being able to calm her attacks of anxiety, and hates the moments he is not there to help. But she is strong, he knows this. She would get along splendidly without him, making him all the more grateful to be allowed to be a part of her life again. 

Ignis stretches arms while watching the city of Insomnia through his office window. He is aware he is lucky in so many ways – being only 22 and already holding a chief position in the Citadel, a situation more or less unavoidable as the right hand of Noctis. He does not care to worry whether it is because he has been groomed to this or not, he actually enjoys his life and takes pride of who he is - someone always aiming to be the best version of himself, especially for Noctis. And for her. 

Ignis smiles as he lifts the cup of coffee sitting on his desk. Yes, he feels blessed. More so now that she is back in his life. His parents not being alive, he usually turns to his uncle when in need of advice of the elder. But the other day the king had asked him to stay behind after a council meeting. 

He had expected the usual questions about Noctis and his son’s lack of presence, being slightly taken aback when Regis had sat down and asked him how he, Ignis, was doing. After a few stumbling, polite exchanges, he had told His Majesty about her. About his love. 

He walks over to the sun by the window again, taking slow sips of the warm drink. He had left her in his bed this morning, all while she tried to keep him there. A habit he hopes she will never stop. In a few months it will be her birthday, the day they officially got to know each other.  

The conversation with Regis has encouraged him. She is the one he hopes to marry one day. 

\-- 

 

 **Early May**  

The brusque awakening has him sharp and focused in seconds, but as he leaves her in the elevator, he cannot help worrying what the future will hold for them. He pushes the thoughts away while hurrying down the corridors to the awaiting council – he won’t allow even wars get between him and her this time.   

\-- 

 

 **May 18** **th**  

He sees the tabloids on his way back to the hotel room, almost dropping the cup of coffee as he reads the headlines. His green eyes widen in shock. For a split second a single thought occupied his mind: his love. Where is she? Is she safe? The next moment he shakes it off to care for the very thing he has trained his entire life for - Noctis and everything revolving him. She will have to wait.  

\-- 

Unsurprisingly, the news of the fallen Insomnia shocks the rest of the entourage as well. An enraged and distressed Noctis storms out of the room after they decide they will go back to Insomnia, and he is faithfully shadowed by Gladio who needs to make sure the Prince won’t try to take off in the Regalia without them.  

Prompto stays back, waiting for Ignis who finishes packing their bags. The worry has spread across Prompto’s face again, his brows closely knitted together.  

“Have you heard anything from her?” Prompto is the one to remember. Of course he is, the soft-hearted, considerate Prompto. 

Ignis grits his teeth and shakes his head as he shoves down a toothbrush into the bag, trying not to let the feelings of aggression take the best of him. He tried to call her on his way to their room, but no signals had gone through. And the text had yet to be delivered. The system has to be overloaded.  

Instead he says: “Noct and his well-being remains our foremost concern at this time. He will require our complete and unwavering support.” 

As he is about to walk past Prompto, the younger man grips his arm and looks straight into his eyes. There is a hint of frustration in his eyes.  

“Dammit, Iggy, quit the stoic act. You CAN be worried, you are allowed to be scared for her sake!”  

“I still have a job to do.” Ignis grabs Noctis’ and his bags in each hand, walking past a bated Prompto. At that moment, Ignis feels a sting of guilt and says with a softer voice: “Thank you, Prompto.” 

The blonde softly grins back and follows him with Gladio’s and his bags in hand.   

\-- 

 

 **May 19** **th**  

Ignis picks up his phone again and tries to call. His heart picks up time as he suddenly hears your voice. 

“Hi! Got nothing original to say, so just leave a message.” His heart sinks again. Voicemail. Again.  

Despite knowing better he tries again. And again. 

Someone picks up. Ignis leaps to his feet and cries her name. The rest of the entourage silences and watches him in surprise as they sit spread out in the cramped room. “Love, are you safe?” 

“Ah? Tis’  _her_  phone?” A masculine, dry and sluggish voice. The stranger chuckles softly and Ignis dislikes him instantaneously. 

“Who is this?” Ignis demands, no room for negotiation in his voice.  

“One of her former fello’ Kingsglaives.” Ignis can practically hear the leer through the phone while the fright in his chest grows. “Seems she won’t be able to get to the cell. Or any other Kingsglaive, actually. We killed ‘em.” 

Ignis cannot swallow, his expression is pale and his hand shaking. Gladiolus rises quickly and takes the phone from him, suspecting what the outcome of the short conversation has been. 

“Whoever the fuck this is, we will find you and you will die along with any other sorry ass who decides to stand in our way.” The bulky Shield then ends the call without giving the man on the other side an opportunity to speak further. 

Meanwhile, Prompto has forced Ignis to sit down and Noctis stares out of the window, sun slowly setting in the distance. His brows furrowed together.  

“We should continue, get there tonight”, the Prince says darkly, clutching his fists. Prompto and Gladiolus let their gazes wander from Noctis to Ignis, who dimly shakes his head. 

“No”, he tries to brace his voice, managing remarkably well despite the situation. It adds proof of his extensive education throughout the years; duty first, as the advisor and strategist of the Crown Prince. “We do need the rest, at least some shut-eye. The roads are brimming with daemons. And quite frankly…” A sigh escapes his lips and he looks up at the rest of the group, his green eyes fixed resolutely on Noctis. “It was anticipated. We’ve received no sign of life from our families so far. The odds of her making it out of the Citadel, let alone Insomnia, were never in our favour.” 

Noctis looks like he wants to give Ignis some snide remark about his constant calculations and emotion-deprived reactions, even in the direst of situations where most would just go on a full emotional rollercoaster. But the Prince knows to keep his mouth shut this time. 

Prompto hugs Ignis’ shoulder with a gloved hand. “There’s always hope, y’know. A-and…” The blonde gulps hard and audible. “Even if none of them made it; her, our parents, your uncle… maybe we could at least give them a proper burial if we find them.” 

“Highly unlikely, the Crown City is indubitably occupied by Imperial militias.” Ignis notices the disappointment in the younger man’s eyes and swiftly adds: “But it is a very nice thing of you to say, I do wish we will be able to give them a proper send off at some point.” 

“Come on”, Gladiolus speaks up and begin untucking the blanket on one of the beds in the motel room. “Let’s at least try to rest before we head out again. Hell, we’re gonna need it.” 

Ignis nods silently, yet doubts he will sleep even for a moment. And what is but a night of no sleep, when the love of his life has entered the eternal slumber of the Beyond.  

She is dead.  

\-- 

 

 **June 5** **th**  

It is her birthday. Or, at least it would have been. Ignis downs the amber liquid in a quick swig. He has not touched alcohol once during this trip, and he covers the glass when the bartender is about to fill it with whiskey again. He will be driving tomorrow.  

Ignis dedicates this moment to her. He saves the tears for when this ordeal is over, but this particular moment in time his thoughts are filled with futures that could have been.  

\-- 

 

 **June 8** **th**  

“I’ll go for a run, make sure sleepy head is awake by the time I get back”, rumbles Gladio as he leaves the caravan and Prompto follows him.  

“Quiet”, Noctis hisses and turns around to face the wall instead. Ignis gives the prince a look and sighs tiredly. He exits the small space, ready to concentrate on making breakfast for them. The menu on the nearby diner hadn’t looked very appetizing, so he ia going to whip up something with the meat from the hunt last night. Perhaps something smoked. 

Six in the morning is way too early for Noctis, even if the world is in turmoil and he is, more or less, King. When he has almost dozed back into sleep, a sudden sound wakes him. The youngling glares back at Ignis’ bed where the man’s phone starts to chime and vibrate. Noctis pulls the pillow over his head, questioning why the hell his friend cannot bring the phone with him like any normal, phone-addicted person and tries to block the sounds best he can. It stops, and he relaxes, soon going to slip into blissful sleep again. A minute later it starts blaring again and he reaches for it with a groan and the intent to kill. It has to be the Marshal or Cid, who else would try to reach them at this hour. And they had this annoying habit of calling Ignis whenever Noctis ignored their calls. He blinks somewhat perplexed at the sight of the unknown number. 

“Yeah?” he answers with a sleepy voice, getting back in bed, laying down on his back. 

 _“…_ _Noctis_ _?”_  

The uncertain sound of a voice he recognizes but cannot place for a split second. Then Noctis darts up to a sitting position.  

“Red?!” A faint laugh escapes him, and he can hear her smile on the other end. “You… are you alright? Where are you? Wait, why didn’t you call Ignis?” 

 _“I think I did, isn’t this his phone?”_  

“Oh right, yeah”, Noctis mumbles back, trying to shake the sleep of his mind. 

 _“I’m fine”,_ hervoice is filled with relief from finally being able to talk to someone of the royal entourage.  _“I lost my phone while getting out of Insomnia… it’s a long story.”_  

Noctis catches her hint.  

“Yeah, of course, wait a mo. I’ll get Iggy for you.” He gets up from the bed. 

 _“Thank you, and sorry for waking you.”_  

“Hey, I’ll forgive you. This time.” 

When Noctis exits the caravan, he sees Prompto in the distance, trying to shoot the colourful sky from different angles. Ignis is where one would expect him to be, next to a brewing pot of coffee, stirring away in a pan while awaiting his beloved Ebony. He looks up in surprise as he notices Noctis. 

“Well, I’ll say, Noct, what owes us the-” The expression in Noctis’ face stops Ignis dead in his tracks. It is one of immense joy, along with a slight hint of slyness – as if the young royalty has a secret he has trouble keeping to himself. Noctis hands him the phone and stares at the tactician. Confounded, Ignis puts the telephone to his ear. 

“This is Ignis Scientia.” His deep, accented tone is warm liquid running through her spine. 

 _“Ignis”_ , her voice trembles.  

Ignis green eyes widen as he stares at Noctis in disbelief, the King himself just scoffs triumphantly and turns on his heel to return to bed – not even miracles like this one can keep him from getting at least another couple of hours of sleep. 

Ignis sinks down on a plastic chair next to the caravan, pressing the phone closer to his ear as if he will be able to touch you if he only keeps it close enough. “Love... I thought you were dead, someone claiming to be a former glaive answered your phone and pronounced you and the others deceased.” 

He hears you snort on the other side of the line, a comforting sound. So very her. His throat grows thick from emotion, and he has to grip the chair tightly to force himself to remain calm.  

 _“It was a close call, but I got away. I boarded a lorry heading out of Insomnia, just before the inspection points were put in place. I dropped my phone in Insomnia while fighting of_ _f_ _some daemons. And…”_ He notices a small hint of embarrassment in her tone.  _“… I couldn’t remember your number once I got hold of a phone. I wanted so badly to tell you I was alright.”_  

“I’m so relieved that you are”, he says softly. “Where are you at this moment? We are parked at a gasoline station, close to Hammerhead. Do you want me to come and get you?” 

A tiny groan escapes her, and he feels how he agonizingly longs for the safe embrace of her arms. He gives the Regalia a quick glance. Perhaps... no.  

 _“I’ve been with my mother and brother in_ _Lestallum_ _for the last couple of weeks. I only got you’re your number late yesterday, from Cor. I’m on my way to Cape_ _Caem_ _, the Marshal has ordered me to take on a mission. I’m to assist a group of hunters locate the Royal Tombs for_ _Noctis_ _.”_  She  lower s   her  voice in disappointment.  _“I’m afraid our reunion will have to wait.”_  

“I suppose so.” He wishes it was not so, but he knows better. Duty first and foremost. 

They both sit quietly for a moment, before Ignis continues: 

“I’ll add your new number to my phone, while I do hope you will memorize mine after this.” He smiles into the receiver at her chuckle.  

 _“I’d be a phony girlfriend if I didn’t.”_  

His grin grows wider. “Then be sure to stay close to cell towers if you want your mobile to have service, they’re a  _mast_.” 

She laughs, yet is sounds like she is crying. Ignis can hear her sniffle.  

“I miss you terribly, love”, he says. 

 _“And I miss you too. I’ll see you soon. I love you, Ignis.”_  

When she hangs up Ignis sits still, looking at the phone in hand. She is alive, she is still doing her job as a servant of the Crown. His chest brims with love, pride and gratefulness. However, the moment is short-lived as his nostrils are assaulted by a burning smell. 

“Bollocks”, he curses under his breath, darting to the cooktop. 

\-- 

The surge going through your stomach as you speed the motorcycle along the road, past stray fiends and grazing beasts, is intoxicating. You have spoken to him, listened to his warm, deep voice. Ignis is safe and now he knows you are as well.  You might not be able to see each other yet, but you are both working towards the same goal – fulfilling your duties, eventually being able to meet. Hopefully.  

Yes. 

This is you choosing hope. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was the last chapter for this part. I am writing away on the second and third parts, though they might take some time due to my health being a bit brittle atm (been on and off different meds trying to find something that works but so far no luck.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and see you in the next part! <3


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